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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

does your husband or boyfriend help...

Posted by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 8:34 AM
  • 24 Replies
I have 2 kids a 2 yr old and a 6 month old. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 yrs, but living together for almost 1 yr. I guess they really do mean it when they say it all changes once you live together. I'm so exhausted from the kids, and I understand he works 9 hrs 5 days a week. But I'm a full time mom 24 hrs 7 days a week. And its hard to take care of both kids, the house, and my boyfriends needs. My house is always a disaster. I have a cleaning schedule, but I feel like I need to put everything into one day every day in the week. Because once I clean something it becomes dirty again within a day or two. There's always clothes lying around the house and dishes for me to do. I feel like I have a panic attack once every day. My son is an early riser and my daughter is a late sleeper and I've tried getting them to sleep at the same time but it doesn't work. So I get 3-4 hrs everyday, and on the weekends my boyfriend tries to let me take a nap,but he can never control the kids. We've also talked about him helping me around the house, but that only last a few days. I dont know how much more I can take before I have a giant meltdown. Do your husbands/boyfriend help you? How do you guys control what goes on in the house? What should I do...?
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by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 8:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Nov. 29, 2012 at 8:39 AM

Have you thought of or can you afford to put the kids in daycare for one day a week to give yourself a break? As for helping.. like most men, they need to be told over and over and over again. Seriously, I tell people I feel like i have 3 kids LOL  I have to remind my hubby to help out (which he does with no issue), and sometimes I just bring both kids to him and tell him I NEED a break!!! and go shop or go get coffee. Sometimes you just have to tell them flat out ENOUGH.. MOMMY IS IN TIME OUT :) Good Luck. 


soda91
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 8:43 AM
Thanks for the advice. I wish my boyfriend would help without an issue. He always complains when I ask him or tell him. Cause he says I have it so easy being at home when he has to work and everything else. And no I don't cause he doesn't have a stable job, and my unemployment is enough for the bills I have now


Quoting TommyAbby:

Have you thought of or can you afford to put the kids in daycare for one day a week to give yourself a break? As for helping.. like most men, they need to be told over and over and over again. Seriously, I tell people I feel like i have 3 kids LOL  I have to remind my hubby to help out (which he does with no issue), and sometimes I just bring both kids to him and tell him I NEED a break!!! and go shop or go get coffee. Sometimes you just have to tell them flat out ENOUGH.. MOMMY IS IN TIME OUT :) Good Luck. 



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TommyAbby
by Melissa on Nov. 29, 2012 at 8:47 AM

What about family or a friend who could take the kids for a bit?

it's not any easier to stay at home then to work. When you leave work, you leave. Being a mommy is 24/7 unless you make that time off happen :) 

Quoting soda91:

Thanks for the advice. I wish my boyfriend would help without an issue. He always complains when I ask him or tell him. Cause he says I have it so easy being at home when he has to work and everything else. And no I don't cause he doesn't have a stable job, and my unemployment is enough for the bills I have now


Quoting TommyAbby:

Have you thought of or can you afford to put the kids in daycare for one day a week to give yourself a break? As for helping.. like most men, they need to be told over and over and over again. Seriously, I tell people I feel like i have 3 kids LOL  I have to remind my hubby to help out (which he does with no issue), and sometimes I just bring both kids to him and tell him I NEED a break!!! and go shop or go get coffee. Sometimes you just have to tell them flat out ENOUGH.. MOMMY IS IN TIME OUT :) Good Luck. 




WinterRose12
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 8:58 AM

I do get some HELP from time to time by my husband esp. when I am sick ... so it is good to have the help !!!

shadow_lark
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:03 AM
Dh helps when he is home, but 95% of the time i am on my own. i just do what i can and let the rest slide. the kids are young, they won care if the house is pristine and killing yourself to keep it that way is unrealistic at this point.
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MomOf2LilGirls
by Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:05 AM

My husband helps but most of the time I have to be like do ya think you can get this done before I get home from work?!  I normally have to ask him a time or two but if that's what it takes to get some help I don't mind.  We both work, me 40 hr weeks and his can vary from 32-40 hr weeks.  I am the one who takes care of most of the household cleaning but he spends more time with the kids then I do.  The reason being he works 3rd shift and I work 2nd shift.  So he is home when the kids are home more often then I am.  So I don't mind bearing the cleaning chores but every now and again I do request help from him.  

I guess what I am trying to say is just ask.  And if that means every day you ask for help with something so be it. 

lovelychaos13
by Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:30 AM

hes gonna be catching up on all the dishes today . :)

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:49 AM

My husband was zero help with my one. It's why I didn't have two. He wasn't really interested in being a Dad until our daughter was old enough to have a conversation and play interactively. And he did clean, as he's OCD about it, but I had to hear all of the time about how I was lazy because he did everything. (eyeroll)

StrawberryCool
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:51 AM
Welcome to being a live in girlfriend.

The only time I get help is when I need to study or im sick.

And I normally wait til LO is in bed to study.

I Didnt even the entire thing.

But Thats part of being a mom is!
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StrawberryCool
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:52 AM
I love if tries to pull this!

But yet, im the one who cooks for him does his laundry the dishes.

And everything else.


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

My husband was zero help with my one. It's why I didn't have two. He wasn't really interested in being a Dad until our daughter was old enough to have a conversation and play interactively. And he did clean, as he's OCD about it, but I had to hear all of the time about how I was lazy because he did everything. (eyeroll)


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