My father in law was a union worker who traveled on his job. About 3 years ago he went through a divorce. He was still traveling and only home once a month. He suggested that he was going to sell his home because he was never there and would buy again when he retired in 2 years. We had a spare room available and offered to let him store his belongings there until retirement and sleep there during holidays or leaves from work. He ended up thanking us and did that.
Well here it is 3 years later and he is still living with us. He retired in March. About a month before his retirement, I had asked him if he planned on staying in our hometown when he retired or what his plans were. He then shockingly told me that he "planned on staying here until he dies if that would be okay?" I was shocked to hear this. And didn't say anything.
We live in a 3 bedroom house and have a 10 year old son. We have a lot of extended family that comes often to stay about once a month. We never have a spare bedroom to let them use (like we used to). He doesn't have any hobbies or interests. He literally sits in his bedroom all day and all night. When he comes downstairs, its almost like he is "scoping out" what we are doing. He doesn't ever say anything but rather just watches us. When my sisters come to town he is constantly watching their every move, to the point that my sister mentioned it weirded her out. (My home is very open to family that I trust).
He doesn't help pay any of the bills and invites himself to our family dinners and events. Which is fine to a point. But we are a younger couple and sometimes meals are frugal. He doesn't offer to pay for any groceries for the household, but buys himself snacks and drinks and keeps them in his bedroom. He does buy toilet paper, paper towels, and coffee for the entire household (was never asked, but always keeps those items stocked). I just feel like a prisoner in my home. I want freedom with my husband. I want to be able to wear my night shirts while watching tv and go braless in the evenings.
During the day when my husband is at work, I find myself "hiding" in the basement to do laundry just to get a break from him. He questions why we are so busy and has even went as far as sitting our family down to tell us that at the beginning of the year we "have to make time in our busy schedule for him to have bible study with us." I agree that our family needs to get in touch with our spiritual side, but I want to do it on my time, not be told I have to. Am I being ridiculous? And what would you do? I'm afraid to say anything because my husband's side of the family already doesn't care for me because they live a different lifestyle than us as far as my home is very tidy and I like to keep it that way, so they have said they feel uncomfortable coming here because they think I'm a neat freak. So I'm afraid if I say something then his family will really hate me. But even my husband has complained to me about his own dad, yet won't say anything. His father even went as far as telling my husband that he can "hear us at night." That was a very awkward moment and so now I'm constantly worrying about being too loud or the bed squeaking. Sorry TMI I know...What do I do???
Side note: His dad has no health problems, he is able to be very active, and he is very well off financially. All while we struggle to pay winter heating bills at times.