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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is this stealing?

Posted by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:01 PM
  • 85 Replies

I get paid once a month and my husband every 2 weeks.  Most of my check goes to bills and my DH's goes to other things here and there.  Rarely to bills.  I got paid last week which was our sons 14th bday.  My husband got paid this last Monday.  I decided that I would split one payment in half and pull from my DH's paycheck to help pay for a bill so we could do some stuff for our sons b-day.  This past Tuesday I realized I didn't get enough money for a bill (we don't have a banking account, we just use cash) so I took $60 out of my husbands wallet.  It wasn't or personal use and I wasn't sneaking around, I just saw the discrepancy and grabbed his wallet and took what I needed.  He takes out of my wallet all the time.  Well the next day he got pissed at me and now won't speak to me.  He said I lied and stole from him.  I don't feel like I did.  I don't feel like I should have to ask for permission to get money, especially if it's going to OUR bills.  Am I wrong about this?  Did I steal?  Yea, I could have mentioned I took it, but I didn't think it was a big deal.

by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:04 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't go in my husbands wallet. He doesn't go in my purse. We never had a discussion about it. we just assume its personal property and If he needs something he would ask. I would never just take $60 and not tell him.

Mom2Phoenix2011
by Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:21 PM

 While I do not consider it stealing necessarily, I do feel that it is disrespectful to go through your spouses wallet or purse. what if you have money put aside for something or he has that money set aside for something. You should as should your husband always give each other the respect of letting them know before just doing. My husband has never once gone into my purse or my wallet just as I have never gone into his wallet.

Stevie, I am the proud mom of Phoenix, and the proud wife of Boston My OTR Trucker.  

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:24 PM
1 mom liked this
IMO yes. I wouldn't ever take money from my
husband's wallet or his bank account without asking first, for ANY reason. His money is his, mine is mine. If there was a bill that I pay that needed to be covered and I couldn't cover it I would ask first.
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MrsApple
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this

My husband wouldn't mind but I don't take money (the rare times he carries cash) out of my husband's wallet without letting him know first just as he wouldn't take from my purse without letting me know first.I wouldn't mind at all but it's just common courtesy.I think your husband is taking it a bit far by not talking to you though.

gabyangy
by Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:30 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think its stealing.  My husband and I do this all the time except that we transfer money from each other account.  For example yesterday I look at my account and saw he transferred $700 on Friday so I text him and told him a mouse was in my account.  We would never get mad for this.  I also go into his wallet and usualyy take out whatever money he has in there and he will call me later during the day saying someone got into his wallet.  It is never a problem in our household. 

PinkButterfly66
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:31 PM

We ask before going into each other's wallet, even though it is all the same money.

conanacole
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:31 PM
3 moms liked this

I think it is dependant on the relationship. My husband and I have open policy about our finances. (It's very hard to surprise each other :) . But we share a bank account and our paychecks are OUR paychecks. If a bill needs paid we are both understanding that it doesn't matter who paid into it, as long as it gets paid. 

My husband often grabs a $20 out of my purse for lunch with his coworkers and I randomly grab a few bucks out of his wallet for a snack or whatever. If its past practice, its okay. He is your husband and its BOTH of your bills that are needing paid! You should NEVER have to ask permission to get money from your own spouse!

Byrd15
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:32 PM
Not in my opinion.
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sleepymommy87
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:33 PM
1 mom liked this
What's mine is his and what's his is mine. Neither of us would care because neither of us have boundary issues. We're married, everything is shared. If we had something saved for a surprise or something it would just stay in our separate cars because we never have a need to go into each other's cars.
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babylove041810
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:34 PM
2 moms liked this
My dh wouldn't mind. We don't have his money my money. It is all OUR money. But I would still never take any without asking. He's better with handling the finances so I make sure to ask because I don't want to spend money if we need it somewhere else.
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