I dont know what to do... DH drinks too much... Please HELP!
Hey- this is my first post but i have decided i need advice! sorry if i am rambling but i have a lot to say and need advice about it!
I have been married for two years but we have lived together for 5 years. We have been through very trying situations, such as drugs, homelessness, etc. together. We have been sober (from drugs) for about 3 years. we have a 2 yo dd and i am expecting in July! My dh is an Alcoholic and he always has been. But now that we have a child(soon-to-be-children). I cant put up with it anymore. I have asked him to stop. only to get blamed for his drinking. I have told him its us or alcohol. only to realize i cant do it on my own. I have tried bargining with him saying if i get on antidepressant will you quit drinking for 5 days. only for his end of the deal never to be carried through. Nothing i do has helped. we are starting to get into more and more arguements (some infront of our dd, even tho i try not to). not to mention the added stress on our unborn.
He works 5-10 days and then is home for 3-5. He doesnt drink at work but he comes home with a 12pack or 5th in his hands. 75+% of the days he is home he is drunk. He says i need to get over his drinking because he is the one feeding our family. I just dont know what to do anymore.
I also want to add that when he is home and sober(rare occasion) he is a wonderful dad and husband. I just dont know if it worth the stress of the 'other times'
Please help me understand why or what to do? I am just lost and sad!
Thanks
Welcome to the group! If your husband isn't ready to change, are you willing to make changes including leaving him? Something to think about....
Quoting kellieelliebug:Hey- this is my first post but i have decided i need advice! sorry if i am rambling but i have a lot to say and need advice about it!
I have been married for two years but we have lived together for 5 years. We have been through very trying situations, such as drugs, homelessness, etc. together. We have been sober (from drugs) for about 3 years. we have a 2 yo dd and i am expecting in July! My dh is an Alcoholic and he always has been. But now that we have a child(soon-to-be-children). I cant put up with it anymore. I have asked him to stop. only to get blamed for his drinking. I have told him its us or alcohol. only to realize i cant do it on my own. I have tried bargining with him saying if i get on antidepressant will you quit drinking for 5 days. only for his end of the deal never to be carried through. Nothing i do has helped. we are starting to get into more and more arguements (some infront of our dd, even tho i try not to). not to mention the added stress on our unborn.
He works 5-10 days and then is home for 3-5. He doesnt drink at work but he comes home with a 12pack or 5th in his hands. 75+% of the days he is home he is drunk. He says i need to get over his drinking because he is the one feeding our family. I just dont know what to do anymore.
I also want to add that when he is home and sober(rare occasion) he is a wonderful dad and husband. I just dont know if it worth the stress of the 'other times'
Please help me understand why or what to do? I am just lost and sad!
Thanks
What does his family say about his drinking? Do you know if other family members drink as much?
You could also ask him to do things for you around the house on his days off and ask him to drink a little less each week. Ask him to drink only three beers a day. Also get some information about the dangers of excessive drinking and leave it on the kitchen table.
It is not benefical for spouses to threaten to leave unless they can and are willing to gamble that if you leave you can handle everything without support and in your mind you are prepared to abandon the relationship. Just a thought!
not sure why it is bothering me but
- kellieelliebug
on Dec. 1, 2012 at 1:04 AM