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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My husband said this to me!!

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We were joking around this morning and he says, "Hey! If I wanted your lip, I'd unzip my pants!!" LOL I diiiied laughing!!

Has anyone else's husband said this or something else funny/perverted to them? I don't know, it seems like lately we are joking more, being more sexual and flirting...just doing good! It feels great :)

So let's hear the funny/perverted things you or your spouse says to each other!!! :D

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Replies (61-69):
BipolarMom09
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 6:10 PM

I don't feel that I was coming off defensive. I was just responding to your comment, which came off a little "above thou". Being honest. And I am far from insecure, haha, and not sure how you came up with that one. Like my husband and I always say, "It's not always WHAT you say but HOW you say it." I was raised by my grandparents and was also taught respect for elders, others, and manners. I have also taught my children the same and they are 3 and 2 and have better manners than most grown adults. Responding to your comments does not make me insecure or defensive either. I was just stating what I felt about your comment, which did come off snoody to me and my husband.

That is great that you all don't swear, yell, call names, or joke around, if that works for you. Around our children, we try to be the same way out of respect for them. When we are alone and free from child ears, we like to have fun, play around, joke with each other, and make each other laugh. That is what works for us and keeps our marriage full of laughter, happiness, and not stiff and/or dull. :)


 

Quoting little.worthen:

i think you read into what i said a LOT. i'm sorry if i made you feel insecure. i NEVER said that you or anyone else dont respect each other. All I was saying is my husband and I dont talk to each other that way. When we speak to each other we are very respectful. we dont swear, we dont yell, we dont call names, we dont say perverted jokes. I didnt mean "we respect each other unlike you guys."

i couldnt think of another word for how we talk to each other. its like when you are growing up and your mom tells you to speak respectfully to your grandparents, she means, use your manners, say please and thank you, etc etc. thats what i was talking about. i'm not really sure why you're so defensive.

Quoting BipolarMom09:

That is fine that you all don't joke around, it isn't for everyone, but that doesn't mean the rest of us don't have respect for our spouses just because we play around and joke with each other. I have the upmost respect for my husband because he is an Iraq veteran and has been through and seen wayyy more than I could ever imagine. I also respect him because he has worked hard and continues to work hard to provide for our family and be there for us. He is the most amazing father to our children and even more amazing husband. He respects me as well because I am the mother of his children, have stood by him through 3 deployments in Iraq, stayed by his side as he battles PTSD, and the fact that I stay home with the kids while he works and goes to school. He sees me staying home as a complete FULL time job and understands it isn't easy by any means. Ya see, just because we joke around playfully and act perverted toward each other does not mean we do not respect each other or that the jokes are at all taken serious or are meant to put each other down in any way.

hugs


 

Quoting little.worthen:

No. We don't really joke around like that. We're really really respectful to each other. It works for us (=

 



little.worthen
by Tessie on Dec. 10, 2012 at 6:30 PM

well i'm sorry you read into what i said and took it that way then. you replys both the last one and this one come off defensive like you think i am trying to bash you or something which is not the case and why i thought i made you feel insecure. because you normally dont go off getting all mad at someone unless you are defensive or insecure with how you live your life. like your husband said, its not what you say, its how you say it, and the way you are saying it makes it sound like you're trying to start a fight.

i never said you didnt have respect for your grandparents or that your kids dont or whatever, i used that metaphor as an example to show you what i was trying to say in the first place, to show you what context i was using the word respect in. again, sounds a lot like you're being defensive and insecure. you dont need to explain to me how you act around your kids or how you act at all. i'm not trying to bash you or put you down. Thats why in the beginning i said "it's what works for us." our marriage isnt boring or dull either. we find our own ways to spice things up. The question in the OP was "has anyone elses husband said this or something else funny/perverted to them?" all i did was answer the question. you took it upon yourself to take whatever i said personally and feel the need to explain yourself to a stranger on the internet. my second reply was just to tell you that it was unnecessary for you to do that. at this point i am trying to make it clear to you that your replys sound very defensive and you sound like you are very worked up and want to try and have an internet fight with me. I'm not into that kind of thing. So again, sorry you took what i said so personally. I didnt intend it towards you. try to understand that this reply, along with all of my others are not being "snooty" or mean or disrespectful to you in anyway. If you need to, try to go back and read it with a different tone of voice in your head.

have a good rest of your day (=

Quoting BipolarMom09:

I don't feel that I was coming off defensive. I was just responding to your comment, which came off a little "above thou". Being honest. And I am far from insecure, haha, and not sure how you came up with that one. Like my husband and I always say, "It's not always WHAT you say but HOW you say it." I was raised by my grandparents and was also taught respect for elders, others, and manners. I have also taught my children the same and they are 3 and 2 and have better manners than most grown adults. Responding to your comments does not make me insecure or defensive either. I was just stating what I felt about your comment, which did come off snoody to me and my husband.

That is great that you all don't swear, yell, call names, or joke around, if that works for you. Around our children, we try to be the same way out of respect for them. When we are alone and free from child ears, we like to have fun, play around, joke with each other, and make each other laugh. That is what works for us and keeps our marriage full of laughter, happiness, and not stiff and/or dull. :)


 

Quoting little.worthen:

i think you read into what i said a LOT. i'm sorry if i made you feel insecure. i NEVER said that you or anyone else dont respect each other. All I was saying is my husband and I dont talk to each other that way. When we speak to each other we are very respectful. we dont swear, we dont yell, we dont call names, we dont say perverted jokes. I didnt mean "we respect each other unlike you guys."

i couldnt think of another word for how we talk to each other. its like when you are growing up and your mom tells you to speak respectfully to your grandparents, she means, use your manners, say please and thank you, etc etc. thats what i was talking about. i'm not really sure why you're so defensive.

Quoting BipolarMom09:

That is fine that you all don't joke around, it isn't for everyone, but that doesn't mean the rest of us don't have respect for our spouses just because we play around and joke with each other. I have the upmost respect for my husband because he is an Iraq veteran and has been through and seen wayyy more than I could ever imagine. I also respect him because he has worked hard and continues to work hard to provide for our family and be there for us. He is the most amazing father to our children and even more amazing husband. He respects me as well because I am the mother of his children, have stood by him through 3 deployments in Iraq, stayed by his side as he battles PTSD, and the fact that I stay home with the kids while he works and goes to school. He sees me staying home as a complete FULL time job and understands it isn't easy by any means. Ya see, just because we joke around playfully and act perverted toward each other does not mean we do not respect each other or that the jokes are at all taken serious or are meant to put each other down in any way.

hugs


 

Quoting little.worthen:

No. We don't really joke around like that. We're really really respectful to each other. It works for us (=






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BipolarMom09
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:25 PM

Lol. Wow, you really don't get it, and that's fine. You kind of sound like me when I was about 18 years old. Young, immature, clueless about life and respect. Good luck to you sweetie. I am tired of reading your posts and turning what I say and how I say it around on me. It was amusing at first but now I have real life to get back to and quite frankly am tired of you. Good-bye ;)


 

Quoting little.worthen:

well i'm sorry you read into what i said and took it that way then. you replys both the last one and this one come off defensive like you think i am trying to bash you or something which is not the case and why i thought i made you feel insecure. because you normally dont go off getting all mad at someone unless you are defensive or insecure with how you live your life. like your husband said, its not what you say, its how you say it, and the way you are saying it makes it sound like you're trying to start a fight.

i never said you didnt have respect for your grandparents or that your kids dont or whatever, i used that metaphor as an example to show you what i was trying to say in the first place, to show you what context i was using the word respect in. again, sounds a lot like you're being defensive and insecure. you dont need to explain to me how you act around your kids or how you act at all. i'm not trying to bash you or put you down. Thats why in the beginning i said "it's what works for us." our marriage isnt boring or dull either. we find our own ways to spice things up. The question in the OP was "has anyone elses husband said this or something else funny/perverted to them?" all i did was answer the question. you took it upon yourself to take whatever i said personally and feel the need to explain yourself to a stranger on the internet. my second reply was just to tell you that it was unnecessary for you to do that. at this point i am trying to make it clear to you that your replys sound very defensive and you sound like you are very worked up and want to try and have an internet fight with me. I'm not into that kind of thing. So again, sorry you took what i said so personally. I didnt intend it towards you. try to understand that this reply, along with all of my others are not being "snooty" or mean or disrespectful to you in anyway. If you need to, try to go back and read it with a different tone of voice in your head.

have a good rest of your day (=

Quoting BipolarMom09:

I don't feel that I was coming off defensive. I was just responding to your comment, which came off a little "above thou". Being honest. And I am far from insecure, haha, and not sure how you came up with that one. Like my husband and I always say, "It's not always WHAT you say but HOW you say it." I was raised by my grandparents and was also taught respect for elders, others, and manners. I have also taught my children the same and they are 3 and 2 and have better manners than most grown adults. Responding to your comments does not make me insecure or defensive either. I was just stating what I felt about your comment, which did come off snoody to me and my husband.

That is great that you all don't swear, yell, call names, or joke around, if that works for you. Around our children, we try to be the same way out of respect for them. When we are alone and free from child ears, we like to have fun, play around, joke with each other, and make each other laugh. That is what works for us and keeps our marriage full of laughter, happiness, and not stiff and/or dull. :)


 

Quoting little.worthen:

i think you read into what i said a LOT. i'm sorry if i made you feel insecure. i NEVER said that you or anyone else dont respect each other. All I was saying is my husband and I dont talk to each other that way. When we speak to each other we are very respectful. we dont swear, we dont yell, we dont call names, we dont say perverted jokes. I didnt mean "we respect each other unlike you guys."

i couldnt think of another word for how we talk to each other. its like when you are growing up and your mom tells you to speak respectfully to your grandparents, she means, use your manners, say please and thank you, etc etc. thats what i was talking about. i'm not really sure why you're so defensive.

Quoting BipolarMom09:

That is fine that you all don't joke around, it isn't for everyone, but that doesn't mean the rest of us don't have respect for our spouses just because we play around and joke with each other. I have the upmost respect for my husband because he is an Iraq veteran and has been through and seen wayyy more than I could ever imagine. I also respect him because he has worked hard and continues to work hard to provide for our family and be there for us. He is the most amazing father to our children and even more amazing husband. He respects me as well because I am the mother of his children, have stood by him through 3 deployments in Iraq, stayed by his side as he battles PTSD, and the fact that I stay home with the kids while he works and goes to school. He sees me staying home as a complete FULL time job and understands it isn't easy by any means. Ya see, just because we joke around playfully and act perverted toward each other does not mean we do not respect each other or that the jokes are at all taken serious or are meant to put each other down in any way.

hugs


 

Quoting little.worthen:

No. We don't really joke around like that. We're really really respectful to each other. It works for us (=

 


 



little.worthen
by Tessie on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:32 PM

well okay then. all i was trying to do was get you to understand that i wasnt trying to be rude to you and i wasnt trying to bash you or talk down to you. i guess if thats your version of immature and clueless about life and respect then okay. I guess where you're from maybe it is.. you are obviously still defensive and dont get what i am trying to say so i suppose i will stop trying. again sorry you got so upset over nothing.

by the way i'm 25 sweetheart, but thanks for the compliment..

Quoting BipolarMom09:

Lol. Wow, you really don't get it, and that's fine. You kind of sound like me when I was about 18 years old. Young, immature, clueless about life and respect. Good luck to you sweetie. I am tired of reading your posts and turning what I say and how I say it around on me. It was amusing at first but now I have real life to get back to and quite frankly am tired of you. Good-bye ;)


 

Quoting little.worthen:

well i'm sorry you read into what i said and took it that way then. you replys both the last one and this one come off defensive like you think i am trying to bash you or something which is not the case and why i thought i made you feel insecure. because you normally dont go off getting all mad at someone unless you are defensive or insecure with how you live your life. like your husband said, its not what you say, its how you say it, and the way you are saying it makes it sound like you're trying to start a fight.

i never said you didnt have respect for your grandparents or that your kids dont or whatever, i used that metaphor as an example to show you what i was trying to say in the first place, to show you what context i was using the word respect in. again, sounds a lot like you're being defensive and insecure. you dont need to explain to me how you act around your kids or how you act at all. i'm not trying to bash you or put you down. Thats why in the beginning i said "it's what works for us." our marriage isnt boring or dull either. we find our own ways to spice things up. The question in the OP was "has anyone elses husband said this or something else funny/perverted to them?" all i did was answer the question. you took it upon yourself to take whatever i said personally and feel the need to explain yourself to a stranger on the internet. my second reply was just to tell you that it was unnecessary for you to do that. at this point i am trying to make it clear to you that your replys sound very defensive and you sound like you are very worked up and want to try and have an internet fight with me. I'm not into that kind of thing. So again, sorry you took what i said so personally. I didnt intend it towards you. try to understand that this reply, along with all of my others are not being "snooty" or mean or disrespectful to you in anyway. If you need to, try to go back and read it with a different tone of voice in your head.

have a good rest of your day (=

Quoting BipolarMom09:

I don't feel that I was coming off defensive. I was just responding to your comment, which came off a little "above thou". Being honest. And I am far from insecure, haha, and not sure how you came up with that one. Like my husband and I always say, "It's not always WHAT you say but HOW you say it." I was raised by my grandparents and was also taught respect for elders, others, and manners. I have also taught my children the same and they are 3 and 2 and have better manners than most grown adults. Responding to your comments does not make me insecure or defensive either. I was just stating what I felt about your comment, which did come off snoody to me and my husband.

That is great that you all don't swear, yell, call names, or joke around, if that works for you. Around our children, we try to be the same way out of respect for them. When we are alone and free from child ears, we like to have fun, play around, joke with each other, and make each other laugh. That is what works for us and keeps our marriage full of laughter, happiness, and not stiff and/or dull. :)


 

Quoting little.worthen:

i think you read into what i said a LOT. i'm sorry if i made you feel insecure. i NEVER said that you or anyone else dont respect each other. All I was saying is my husband and I dont talk to each other that way. When we speak to each other we are very respectful. we dont swear, we dont yell, we dont call names, we dont say perverted jokes. I didnt mean "we respect each other unlike you guys."

i couldnt think of another word for how we talk to each other. its like when you are growing up and your mom tells you to speak respectfully to your grandparents, she means, use your manners, say please and thank you, etc etc. thats what i was talking about. i'm not really sure why you're so defensive.

Quoting BipolarMom09:

That is fine that you all don't joke around, it isn't for everyone, but that doesn't mean the rest of us don't have respect for our spouses just because we play around and joke with each other. I have the upmost respect for my husband because he is an Iraq veteran and has been through and seen wayyy more than I could ever imagine. I also respect him because he has worked hard and continues to work hard to provide for our family and be there for us. He is the most amazing father to our children and even more amazing husband. He respects me as well because I am the mother of his children, have stood by him through 3 deployments in Iraq, stayed by his side as he battles PTSD, and the fact that I stay home with the kids while he works and goes to school. He sees me staying home as a complete FULL time job and understands it isn't easy by any means. Ya see, just because we joke around playfully and act perverted toward each other does not mean we do not respect each other or that the jokes are at all taken serious or are meant to put each other down in any way.

hugs


 

Quoting little.worthen:

No. We don't really joke around like that. We're really really respectful to each other. It works for us (=








Acknowledge God - An INSPIRATIONAL blog
Join us in Classic Rock Mom's 
Check out our Article Club on Facebook! 


BipolarMom09
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:35 PM

Lol So anyways ladies, thank you all for sharing your stories/jokes!! My husband and I have been laughing for days over some of these! They are great and if nothing else, gave us all some laughs and our husbands more ammo! Hahahaa! :)

trio8707
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this

DH and I were getting the kids ready this morning.  I was cooking breakfast, made enough for the kids and had a little leftover for DH.  The kids and DH were sitting at the table eating while I was cleaning up and getting their backpacks ready when my 5 year old daughter asked "Mommy why aren't you eating".  DH replied "Don't worry, I'm gonna cook Mommy a special breakfast after you leave for school [then he winked at me]."  My daughter then goes "Ok but it Mommy likes it tell her to save me some for a snack".  I just about died hahaha

StrawberryCool
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:35 PM
On a daily basis!

Not sure why this has become so popluar.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
NiCo86
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:36 PM
my DH says that to me too lol
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kellysparkles
by Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:39 PM
1 mom liked this
My husband and I pick on each other all the time and he often says something like, "If you don't shut up I'll stick it in your butt!" lol.
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