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I really need to vent about my husband.

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He's starting to get on my last nerve! So, a bit of a backstory. .
I stay at home with our kids. Once a week I take care of bills and payroll for hubby and his dads shop. His dad signs all checks. Well, his dad gave us Xmas bonuses. I got $500 and hubby got $1000. Now, I get paid VERY little ($30/wk) so Im not really able to contribute to our bills and such but when I can, I help. I usually just get an advance to help out. Anyhow, hubby makes $600/wk. Every week. Well, with my Xmas bonus I paid our electric and gas, as well as pit gas in hubbys car. I also got my half of our daughters Xmas gift. I still need to get hubbys and our sons Xmas. I let him know the elec and gas were taken care of and all that's left is the phone payment. He asked when that was due. Since he asked me a few weeks ago if I would make a payment arrangement on that bill I set it up to be paid by the 17th of this month. Well he has yet to make a payment so he is going to owe the full amt plus the current bill that will be due by the 21st. Our bill runs about 250/month. Now he's upset that he has to take care of the phone bill by himself. Well, if you would have made some small payments you wouldn't be in this mess. If I would have had the funds I would help out but seeing as I dont and took care of what I could Im pretty much low on funds and need what I have left for Xmas.
Am I wrong for feeling so frustrated? I feel like Im not wrong because I dont get paid much at all and he gets paid every week plus this nice Xmas bonus he got.
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by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:07 PM
Replies (11-17):
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:14 PM
I don't even want to hear it. Fact: He's irresponsible.

I'd make an account for all the money coming in and transfer money out into a savings to hide it.

Pay bills from the account both of your paychecks go into.

Then have a 2nd checking account what you see fit $ for him to spend.

If that doesn't make sense I don't want to hear it. He should be spending money on you and the children 1st and not screwing around making things late.

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by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:15 PM


"my DH is the same way with bills. if i wasn't 100% on top of things, we would be screwed! it frustrated me the first year or so and then i finally just put my big girl pants on and started being the "accountant" in our relationship. neither of us get fun money until EVERY bill due is paid. i know what he buys for himself, vise versa. when one of us goes shopping, the other knows what we're getting and what we're planning on spending. we don't seperate anything and that's the only way it works for us"

well said! there is always one person in the relationship that is going to be better at keeping up with the bills and expenses. If it is you, just take the initiative to make sure that things get paid, dont look at it as his vs yours. Your money is his money and his money is your money, if he gets screwed, you get screwed.

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:17 PM
Theres a winner...

Why is your bill so high?
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by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:57 PM


by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 7:39 PM
Id be frustrated too. But, I dont understand keeping money separate and each paying certain bills. IMO if youre married, its our money to pay our bills and we pay for the kids christmas, not each pay half.
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by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:08 PM

Reading these things, I am glad I am divorced, have been divorced for more than 2years now, Was engaged but called it off. I feel so relieved and free and I think I am just going to ride being single for a looong time. These are people that profess the love  you soo much in the beginning, tell you to stay at home "i will take care of it" then when it comes down to business they expect  you (who is making very little)  to pay 50/50 and sometimes more than 50. There are very few good men these days left.

But it is very normal to feel what you are feeling. He makes more than you and should be understanding that you pay some bills when you can. In fact, he should be appreciative of the effort you are making. Not leaving everything to him to pay. It shows that you care about him, he should show that he cares about you by being understanding. He is being stingy.


by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 5:31 PM

Maybe it is time you sit down and tell him like it is.  When you are married you become a unit.  There is NO more his money only or your money only.  You have kids in the mix and that is what needs to be important. If your husband DOES NOT understand this then he needs a flipping wake up call!  

Good luck to you and your hubby!  

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