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I have a problem, a good problem, but a problem none the less.

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:59 AM
  • 6 Replies
My husband works 84 hours one week and then has the next week off. I work from 7:45-3:15 Monday-Friday. On my husband's work week, I am normally gone by the time he gets home, and he doesn't wake up until 6pm and has to leave for work no later than 6:45, do in 45 minutes he has to wake up, shower, get dressed, eat, and spend what little time we have together.

With my job, I don't make much money, but I have awesome benefits- 10 vacation days, 10 sick days, and 10-11 holidays. I also get a scholarship for school. I just got a promotion and my work load has increased a bit (but so has my paycheck). It's basically a contract job but I am getting some amazing experience with it.

Here is the problem- my husband is all the time asking me to call in sick and stay home with him. I have used up most of my sick days (most of it was for being sick but some of it was "mental health days" and me caving in to my husband. he called me yesterday and asked if I would come home. I left work because fir one I wasn't really feeling well and because I have said no to him for the past several weeks. I figured leaving early would pacify him for a few weeks but it didn't. He asked me to stay home with him today. I understand that he just worked 93 hours in 8 days and we haven't seen much of each other, but I also have a job to do. I am hoping to get hired on full time with better pay and summer's and school vacations off. While my job is very flexible I do need to show my boss that I am capable of being on time to work and being a good employee. Also, my husband often complains about the amount of work I do for the little pay. Any suggestions?
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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:59 AM
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Replies (1-6):
Ms.Maaamaof2
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:17 PM

No, you can not call in to spend time at home it burns bridges at work.


You two need to sit and evaluate what is most important, your job and perks that come with it or spending extra time with him.Should the anwser be staying hom then you need a more modified work schedule, maybe a new job somewhere else to allow that. Should it be the benefits and money you need to go to work and let that be that. My motto is do it right, if your going to do the job do it right, go everyday work hard and do it well.

JeremysMom
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:37 PM
I can not be a SAHM, it takes both of our paychecks. He knows this, I know this, nor would either one of us want me to be there 24/7. What I can't get him to understand is that even though my job is VERY flexible, I don't want to call out because I do want a better paying job. I can't get him to understand this. He is just in the here and
now and he thinks because I make so little that my job isn't very important. He typically only does this in the later part of the work week or at the very beginning of his off week. I am contemplating changing my work schedule but I really enjoy my hours that I have now. At the same time, I do miss my husband.


Quoting Ms.Maaamaof2:

No, you can not call in to spend time at home it burns bridges at work.


You two need to sit and evaluate what is most important, your job and perks that come with it or spending extra time with him.Should the anwser be staying hom then you need a more modified work schedule, maybe a new job somewhere else to allow that. Should it be the benefits and money you need to go to work and let that be that. My motto is do it right, if your going to do the job do it right, go everyday work hard and do it well.

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Ms.Maaamaof2
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 1:04 PM

With that said you do need to address this. You work hard to help to, it may not be in a sense of money but insurance and vacations are money at the end of the day. He needs to recognize that the cost of insurance is significant and if he was paying it he may not be making as much as he does.


This situations and any revolving around money are tricky conversations in relationships because even addressing them often times causes fights.

Quoting JeremysMom:

I can not be a SAHM, it takes both of our paychecks. He knows this, I know this, nor would either one of us want me to be there 24/7. What I can't get him to understand is that even though my job is VERY flexible, I don't want to call out because I do want a better paying job. I can't get him to understand this. He is just in the here and
now and he thinks because I make so little that my job isn't very important. He typically only does this in the later part of the work week or at the very beginning of his off week. I am contemplating changing my work schedule but I really enjoy my hours that I have now. At the same time, I do miss my husband.


Quoting Ms.Maaamaof2:

No, you can not call in to spend time at home it burns bridges at work.


You two need to sit and evaluate what is most important, your job and perks that come with it or spending extra time with him.Should the anwser be staying hom then you need a more modified work schedule, maybe a new job somewhere else to allow that. Should it be the benefits and money you need to go to work and let that be that. My motto is do it right, if your going to do the job do it right, go everyday work hard and do it well.


MagicTemptation
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 3:13 PM
He cant scale back his hours?
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i.heart.myboys
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:32 PM
I would have to agree.

Quoting MagicTemptation:

He cant scale back his hours?
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JeremysMom
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:38 PM

No, he has to work 7pm-7am Monday-Sunday. He did work 93 hours this past week because he went in for an extra 8 hours that he didn't have to do. He does have a habit of not using his paid time off until around late fall/early winter (when he has to use it or lose it). However, he does this because it is hard for him to take time off and it not affect the other 3 members on his shift. 

Quoting MagicTemptation:

He cant scale back his hours?


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