So Tuesday, he was amazing all day. Wanted to touch me, be around me, be WITH me...it was amazing. He came up behind me several times like he used to and hugged me, grabbed my boobs and butt, kissed me...
Wednesday, he was kind of distant, but he still seemed like he wanted to be around me. I rubbed his head again, rubbed his back, neck, shoulders...we took a shower together and it was really nice. He didn't touch me as much as he usually does in the shower, but he still did. Then we had really good sex, but he wouldn't really look at me. He usually is staring at my face. That bothered me, but we kept on. Finished, said our "I love yous" and "goodnights" and went to sleep.
Today has been a bad, emotional day for me. I feel like he's more distant today. I didn't talk to him much during the day. We usually text throughout the day while he's at work. He got home, gave me a hug and sat down on the couch, played on his phone, relaxed. He's been tired, which I can understand. We were up until almost 1am this morning and he had to be to work at 7. But he seems to just be in a bad mood all together. I'm so confused and I feel like crap today!!
I have really messed up. My SO and I met about 5 years ago. We've been together for almost 3 of those years. He is amazing. He's an incredible father, boyfriend, lover, just an amazing person. He's giving, loving, affectionate...we've had some really bad times and some really great times.
We've been arguing a lot and I push him away every time he tried to touch me and it was because I was feeling the way that he is now. I fell out of love, gave up on us and just started leaving the house every night just to not argue. Well, something happened(I'm not getting into that.) and it clicked in his head that he wanted me around and that he loved me and wanted to be with me. So he changed. Everything was back to the way it was when we started dating almost 3 years ago. But it was only back to that way on his end. I really really wanted to get that love back that we had. It took a couple months, but I am more in love with him now, after everything we've been through, than I was when we fell in love. But the way I treated him made him fall out of love with me. It hurts to even read that over. I 100% understand the way that he's feeling and I just need to make him see that I am so in love with him and I want to be his wife one day, more than anything. I need him in my life and our son needs him in his life and he needs both of us to be together, in the same house. He's the only one I've ever wanted to be with. I know we can get that love back. He's given me another chance to show him that I will never do it again and that he can trust that I will never do it again. How can I make him see that I am serious when I say I am so in love with him?