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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

He gave me a ring and says "this is what you have wanted isnt it?"

The bf gave me an absolutely beautiful diamond ring yesterday.  It was totally unexpected.  When I opened it he said "thats what you have been wanting isnt it?"  So what do I take this ring as....I wanted to be engaged. 

by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Replies (81-88):
Mama2ETA
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:22 PM

 I NEVER understand this type of question. Maybe because I am very open in my relationships in general? I dont know, but I would never want to be with someone I didn't feel comfortable asking such a simple question to.

I also would want the proposal and engagement, not the ring by itself.

Quoting RosePetals4321:

Well now today is the day after he gave it to me.  How do you suggest I ask him now?

Quoting EsmeVincent:

Quoting CreziaMommyTo2:

ask him if it means "we're engaged"

simple really


 

 

babybugsmomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:02 PM

I'm not here to add more drama to this post, I just wanted to mention that maybe you should have said that most.....because you can't speak for all married women on here. I am a woman who was apparently engaged for 2 months without even knowing it. Dh and I talked about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together, but we never said we were going to get married until one day we were at walmart and bought a ring set. The next week we were married at the court house. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

You came here confused having to post it on a website what the ring was even about. The rest of the married ladies here knew when our DHs proposed. I know you are defensive and that's ok, but I firmly believe there are some minimum standards by which a woman should be treated. To not even be sure sure if you've been proposed to is ridiculous. A man who truly wants a woman, he will be sure she knows, there will be no question. He will want her to know, he will want her that badly.


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Did you see my post about other engagement.  Not every man gets down on one knee.  Doesnt make them a bad person. 


Quoting newstepmom61811:

It has nothing to do with romance...it's about basic respect...you are the one who doesn't even know if you're engaged...your expectations are too low, you didn't even get an honest proposal...





Quoting RosePetals4321:

Im not a romantic person, so I dont need wine and dine......we are down to earth people that appreciate what we have and we don't in any means need to be better than anyone.  Some women need romance in order for a man to prove his love to her....I dont need that.  And truthfully.....if he wasted money on all this romantic shit....its a waste of money in my eyes.  If you like romance then great....works for you. 



Quoting newstepmom61811:

I really don't mean to be rude but to be blunt...you've been married before so obviously not naive...so...your expectations are so low that you're not sure you're engaged, you're asking women on a website to decypher it for you...treat yourself better honestly. If a man wants to marry you he doesn't just ask you if it's what you wanted. That's honestly rude. He asks you to be his wife, because he wants you, as his wife, and should let you know it. I would honestly hand the ring back to him. And say it is lovely, and flat out ask him what it meant.







LoveMyLos
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:06 PM
Doesnt sound to me like he wants to be engaged. Sounds like he yave you what he thought you wanted. Asking him if youre engaged is just stupid. Cuz obviously not since he didnt ask will you marry me. Not a proposal story id tell any ways.
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sokolowski
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:07 PM
do you have an up date
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boshs1andonly
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:08 PM

ok most of the time, i hate it when people make sweeping generalizations. however in this one specific instance, i agree. MOST men use the words, "will you marry me" when they propose, and they make it clear that their intention is to be engaged. i understand yours was the exception, and its not surprising that there would be a few since there usually are. but come on, i'm pretty sure most women know when they are being proposed to. and if there were any confusion, there should be no problem asking for clarification, you're about to marry this man but you can't have an honest conversation with him? skip the marriage then because if you can't talk to each other, whats the point?

Quoting babybugsmomma:

You can't speak for all married women on here. I am a woman who was apparently engaged for 2 months without even knowing it. Dh and I talked about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together, but we never said we were going to get married until one day we were at walmart and bought a ring set. The next week we were married at the court house. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

You came here confused having to post it on a website what the ring was even about. The rest of the married ladies here knew when our DHs proposed. I know you are defensive and that's ok, but I firmly believe there are some minimum standards by which a woman should be treated. To not even be sure sure if you've been proposed to is ridiculous. A man who truly wants a woman, he will be sure she knows, there will be no question. He will want her to know, he will want her that badly.


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Did you see my post about other engagement.  Not every man gets down on one knee.  Doesnt make them a bad person. 


Quoting newstepmom61811:

It has nothing to do with romance...it's about basic respect...you are the one who doesn't even know if you're engaged...your expectations are too low, you didn't even get an honest proposal...





Quoting RosePetals4321:

Im not a romantic person, so I dont need wine and dine......we are down to earth people that appreciate what we have and we don't in any means need to be better than anyone.  Some women need romance in order for a man to prove his love to her....I dont need that.  And truthfully.....if he wasted money on all this romantic shit....its a waste of money in my eyes.  If you like romance then great....works for you. 



Quoting newstepmom61811:

I really don't mean to be rude but to be blunt...you've been married before so obviously not naive...so...your expectations are so low that you're not sure you're engaged, you're asking women on a website to decypher it for you...treat yourself better honestly. If a man wants to marry you he doesn't just ask you if it's what you wanted. That's honestly rude. He asks you to be his wife, because he wants you, as his wife, and should let you know it. I would honestly hand the ring back to him. And say it is lovely, and flat out ask him what it meant.








la_bella_vita
by Bella on Dec. 28, 2012 at 1:58 AM

 I can't even believe this is a question....I hope you get it figured out

mrs-haynes24
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:53 AM
Wow after reading all of this all I can do is laugh. No disrespect towards anybody, but I agree with everybody mom in here. We all knew we were engaged. Just ask him, it shouldn't be that hard. My DF didn't got on his knees, but he did asked me to marry him
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KRYSTALK1013
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 8:47 AM
I'm with you there. My husband asked me to marry him via webcam on NYE. I was hosting a party and intoxicated, so when he asked, I said yes, but laughed immediately afterward, thinking he was joking. A few months later, he text me a picture of my ring set and asked again. (We were long distance due to the Army, and he didn't want to mail the ring to me.) I once again said yes
I considered that to be our "official" engagement. However, when the topic came up later on.while talking to his friends, he said he considered our engagement date to be New Years because that's when he asked me. He did it that way because New Years meant a new beginning and he wanted that new beginning to include me promising to be his wife, but he didn't have the money for the ring I wanted at that time. (Say 'Awwwww' now. Lol.) So apparently I was engaged for about 4 months before I actually knew it.
Quoting babybugsmomma:


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