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He gave me a ring and says "this is what you have wanted isnt it?"

The bf gave me an absolutely beautiful diamond ring yesterday.  It was totally unexpected.  When I opened it he said "thats what you have been wanting isnt it?"  So what do I take this ring as....I wanted to be engaged. 

by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Replies (41-50):
unsuspected
by Gold Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:11 PM
2 moms liked this

OMYGOSH!  You want to be engaged to someone you can't talk openly with about your desires and goals?   And who gives you a SHUT UP ring instead of any real commitment?   Good idea!   

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” ~Bob Marley
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:13 PM

Just Think 76~~ yep. I knew it! Still with that same guy who does nothing, living in upstate NY, constantly questioning your relationship.. been with him for 2 yrs.. blah blah..

Seriously??? If he didn't ask, it didn't happen. Pretty cut and dry.

If you are that confused, time to reeval your relationship. You obviously don't know him well enough to figure out what he is trying to convey. Most women at the two year mark can pretty much read their SO minds. 


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Did you see my post about other engagement.  Not every man gets down on one knee.  Doesnt make them a bad person. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

It has nothing to do with romance...it's about basic respect...you are the one who doesn't even know if you're engaged...your expectations are too low, you didn't even get an honest proposal...


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Im not a romantic person, so I dont need wine and dine......we are down to earth people that appreciate what we have and we don't in any means need to be better than anyone.  Some women need romance in order for a man to prove his love to her....I dont need that.  And truthfully.....if he wasted money on all this romantic shit....its a waste of money in my eyes.  If you like romance then great....works for you. 


Quoting newstepmom61811:

I really don't mean to be rude but to be blunt...you've been married before so obviously not naive...so...your expectations are so low that you're not sure you're engaged, you're asking women on a website to decypher it for you...treat yourself better honestly. If a man wants to marry you he doesn't just ask you if it's what you wanted. That's honestly rude. He asks you to be his wife, because he wants you, as his wife, and should let you know it. I would honestly hand the ring back to him. And say it is lovely, and flat out ask him what it meant.





boshs1andonly
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:15 PM

dh didn't get down on one knee but he did ask me to marry him. not trying to be rude here but she has a point. if he wanted to marry you, he would have at least made it clear that's what the ring is for (even without a huge proposal). without that, then it's probably just a christmas present. i understand him not being overly romantic, but pp is right that your expectations are way too low if you're okay with a proposal that doesn't include the words will you marry me. 

Quoting RosePetals4321:

Did you see my post about other engagement.  Not every man gets down on one knee.  Doesnt make them a bad person. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

It has nothing to do with romance...it's about basic respect...you are the one who doesn't even know if you're engaged...your expectations are too low, you didn't even get an honest proposal...


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Im not a romantic person, so I dont need wine and dine......we are down to earth people that appreciate what we have and we don't in any means need to be better than anyone.  Some women need romance in order for a man to prove his love to her....I dont need that.  And truthfully.....if he wasted money on all this romantic shit....its a waste of money in my eyes.  If you like romance then great....works for you. 


Quoting newstepmom61811:

I really don't mean to be rude but to be blunt...you've been married before so obviously not naive...so...your expectations are so low that you're not sure you're engaged, you're asking women on a website to decypher it for you...treat yourself better honestly. If a man wants to marry you he doesn't just ask you if it's what you wanted. That's honestly rude. He asks you to be his wife, because he wants you, as his wife, and should let you know it. I would honestly hand the ring back to him. And say it is lovely, and flat out ask him what it meant.





biancalina20
by Bianca Lina on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:16 PM
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jenesis915
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:17 PM
1 mom liked this
My husbands not really romantic e didn't get on one knee but he did at least ask will you marry me
Kinda seem like a shut up ring to me but just go out n ask him
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unsuspected
by Gold Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Well said.

Put the ring back in the box and tell him "I'm not wearing this until I know what it means."  If it's not an engagment ring, don't wear it.  Because if he can give you a ring and have no intentions to marry you NOW, he never will.  If it IS an engagment ring maybe you might get a real proposal if you put him on the spot.  Personally, I'm with newstepmom ... I think if he wanted to marry you he would have no reason to pussyfoot around it.  

Quoting newstepmom61811:

I really don't mean to be rude but to be blunt...you've been married before so obviously not naive...so...your expectations are so low that you're not sure you're engaged, you're asking women on a website to decypher it for you...treat yourself better honestly. If a man wants to marry you he doesn't just ask you if it's what you wanted. That's honestly rude. He asks you to be his wife, because he wants you, as his wife, and should let you know it. I would honestly hand the ring back to him. And say it is lovely, and flat out ask him what it meant.


“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” ~Bob Marley
RosePetals4321
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:20 PM

wth are you talking about? 

Quoting TommyAbby:

Just Think 76~~ yep. I knew it! Still with that same guy who does nothing, living in upstate NY, constantly questioning your relationship.. been with him for 2 yrs.. blah blah..

Seriously??? If he didn't ask, it didn't happen. Pretty cut and dry.

If you are that confused, time to reeval your relationship. You obviously don't know him well enough to figure out what he is trying to convey. Most women at the two year mark can pretty much read their SO minds. 


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Did you see my post about other engagement.  Not every man gets down on one knee.  Doesnt make them a bad person. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

It has nothing to do with romance...it's about basic respect...you are the one who doesn't even know if you're engaged...your expectations are too low, you didn't even get an honest proposal...


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Im not a romantic person, so I dont need wine and dine......we are down to earth people that appreciate what we have and we don't in any means need to be better than anyone.  Some women need romance in order for a man to prove his love to her....I dont need that.  And truthfully.....if he wasted money on all this romantic shit....its a waste of money in my eyes.  If you like romance then great....works for you. 


Quoting newstepmom61811:

I really don't mean to be rude but to be blunt...you've been married before so obviously not naive...so...your expectations are so low that you're not sure you're engaged, you're asking women on a website to decypher it for you...treat yourself better honestly. If a man wants to marry you he doesn't just ask you if it's what you wanted. That's honestly rude. He asks you to be his wife, because he wants you, as his wife, and should let you know it. I would honestly hand the ring back to him. And say it is lovely, and flat out ask him what it meant.






TommyAbby
by Melissa on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:41 PM

JustThink76 was a sn on here a while ago. She left Cm the same time you started. Came in here doing the same thing you are doing. Always questioning and yet when someone answers, they are wrong. Same writing style.always questioning the relationship, same 2yrs in length. even living in Upstate NY like you.. too many similarties

Quoting RosePetals4321:

wth are you talking about? 

Quoting TommyAbby:

Just Think 76~~ yep. I knew it! Still with that same guy who does nothing, living in upstate NY, constantly questioning your relationship.. been with him for 2 yrs.. blah blah..

Seriously??? If he didn't ask, it didn't happen. Pretty cut and dry.

If you are that confused, time to reeval your relationship. You obviously don't know him well enough to figure out what he is trying to convey. Most women at the two year mark can pretty much read their SO minds. 


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Did you see my post about other engagement.  Not every man gets down on one knee.  Doesnt make them a bad person. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

It has nothing to do with romance...it's about basic respect...you are the one who doesn't even know if you're engaged...your expectations are too low, you didn't even get an honest proposal...


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Im not a romantic person, so I dont need wine and dine......we are down to earth people that appreciate what we have and we don't in any means need to be better than anyone.  Some women need romance in order for a man to prove his love to her....I dont need that.  And truthfully.....if he wasted money on all this romantic shit....its a waste of money in my eyes.  If you like romance then great....works for you. 


Quoting newstepmom61811:

I really don't mean to be rude but to be blunt...you've been married before so obviously not naive...so...your expectations are so low that you're not sure you're engaged, you're asking women on a website to decypher it for you...treat yourself better honestly. If a man wants to marry you he doesn't just ask you if it's what you wanted. That's honestly rude. He asks you to be his wife, because he wants you, as his wife, and should let you know it. I would honestly hand the ring back to him. And say it is lovely, and flat out ask him what it meant.







RosePetals4321
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:51 PM

Good for them.  Not my concern what others do. 

Quoting TommyAbby:

JustThink76 was a sn on here a while ago. She left Cm the same time you started. Came in here doing the same thing you are doing. Always questioning and yet when someone answers, they are wrong. Same writing style.always questioning the relationship, same 2yrs in length. even living in Upstate NY like you.. too many similarties

Quoting RosePetals4321:

wth are you talking about? 

Quoting TommyAbby:

Just Think 76~~ yep. I knew it! Still with that same guy who does nothing, living in upstate NY, constantly questioning your relationship.. been with him for 2 yrs.. blah blah..

Seriously??? If he didn't ask, it didn't happen. Pretty cut and dry.

If you are that confused, time to reeval your relationship. You obviously don't know him well enough to figure out what he is trying to convey. Most women at the two year mark can pretty much read their SO minds. 


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Did you see my post about other engagement.  Not every man gets down on one knee.  Doesnt make them a bad person. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

It has nothing to do with romance...it's about basic respect...you are the one who doesn't even know if you're engaged...your expectations are too low, you didn't even get an honest proposal...


Quoting RosePetals4321:

Im not a romantic person, so I dont need wine and dine......we are down to earth people that appreciate what we have and we don't in any means need to be better than anyone.  Some women need romance in order for a man to prove his love to her....I dont need that.  And truthfully.....if he wasted money on all this romantic shit....its a waste of money in my eyes.  If you like romance then great....works for you. 


Quoting newstepmom61811:

I really don't mean to be rude but to be blunt...you've been married before so obviously not naive...so...your expectations are so low that you're not sure you're engaged, you're asking women on a website to decypher it for you...treat yourself better honestly. If a man wants to marry you he doesn't just ask you if it's what you wanted. That's honestly rude. He asks you to be his wife, because he wants you, as his wife, and should let you know it. I would honestly hand the ring back to him. And say it is lovely, and flat out ask him what it meant.








Fairegirl33
by Bronze Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:55 PM

 exactly...  sounds like an easy solution to me... 

 

Quoting TommyAbby:

Then ask him to specify..ask which this ring is.

 

Quoting RosePetals4321:

He said "here that's what you have been wanting".  Which was an engagement or promise ring.  So it is one of the two. I didn't ask for just a ring. 

Quoting TommyAbby:

if he didn't say anything, then my answer still stands. He did propose or give you a promise ring. He just gave you a ring and called it a Christmas gift. Sorry girl. 

Perhaps V-Day? Start pushing now!! 

Quoting RosePetals4321:

I didnt want a "pretty ring".  I asked awhile back about being engaged or a promise ring. 

Quoting TommyAbby:

If it was an engagement ring, he would have asked you to marry him and put it on your finger.

When he said it was something you wanted, I think he took it as just that; that you wanted a pretty ring for Christmas. Congrats on the pretty ring, sorry, but I don't think you are engaged. 

 

 

 

 

 

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