Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

What's The Best Marriage Or Relationship Advice You Were Ever Given

Posted by   + Show Post

I have a couple. One from my Mom who said "Only marry a man who knows how to fix things". Another was, only marry a man who you would be proud to have as a son.

What's the best advice you were given? You never know, it may help someone.

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 4:17 PM
Replies (11-20):
Melissa823
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:10 PM
4 moms liked this

Love is a choice, not a feeling.

Marriage isn't 50/50 it's 100/100.

Never name-call.


jmlmomma
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks,

It's not always been easy but we dust each other off and keep at it...

I can't beieve 27 years have gone by.... It really does get away from you.... Wish we had slowed down, danced and laughed more. 

Quoting JenniferW67:

I love the 100% advise. It's so true. 27 years?! Congratulations! You're doing something right! 

Quoting jmlmomma:

The day before my wedding an elderly man from church told me "it's not 50/50 its 100/100..It takes both working at it 100% of the time" so true now soon to be 27 years later I can say soooo true! 50% wouldn't cut it.... 

My mom always said.."If her treats his mother good, then he'll treat his wife good" I believe this is right also! 

I've always said.... "don't start something you don't plan on doing the rest of your life" in a relationship, some like to "put on" their best behaviour before the wedding and then as soon as the "I do" it stops... Or They are treated poorly during the courtship and think it's magically going to get better because of a ring... and that is simple not so..if anything it gets worse..



janinefall.jpg picture by lovestarbucks54

JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:13 PM

That's awesome advice. Hooray for the very drunk guy! lol It's so easy to stop seeing what you saw in them in   the beginning and what someone else may be seeing in them now.

Quoting Twix.Leigh:

Given to my SO from a very drunk guy when I was pregnant "no matter how long you've been together, never stop chasing her, always act like you are still competition with someone else. Even when you marry her and been together years and years and your old and dying, treat her as though you've just met, and you need to win her affections. And always dance, even if there's no music. Slow, and close."
Goes both ways too.


Bigmetalchicken
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:18 PM
4 moms liked this

My grandmother told me, "Never marry someone hoping to change something you find annoying in them. Because they only way it will change, is that it will get 1000 times worse." 

also, "Never get marry a man that always has an excuse.  If he is not man enough to own up to his mistakes and faults, he is not man enough to be a good husband."  

I think both of these are fantastic, and very accurate. I am very glad I took them to heart, because of all of my cousins that she gave that advice to as well, I am the only one who followed it, and I am the only one in a happy marriage.

Awakened1
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:21 PM
3 moms liked this
Always strive for better in your relationship by taking a step back every now and then and evaluating things.
Put in the effort.
Listen to each others needs and wants.
Remember to appreciate the little things.
Never go to bed angry/ with situations unresolved.
Keep communication open.
Grow together and not apart.
Don't be selfish.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:22 PM
2 moms liked this

Great advice. That's inspiring that you were able to save your marraige. That you were able to actually take her advice and use it to save your marriage, instead of holding on to anger with him. You're a strong,  smart woman.

Quoting anyuka75:

We went through a rough patch in our marriage when our kids were 3 and 5 years old.  I was in total "mommy mode" and my husband felt....well....neglected.  Not to say his actions of vearing from the marriage were right, but the best advice I was given was from my therapist.  She said:  "You always have to nurture and take care of your man --- every single day of married life together.  Make dinner!  Keep the house clean.  Have the fridge stocked up!  Ask him how his day was and just LISTEN". 


When she told me this, I was like....."WHAT THE HECK????"  I am busy and don't have time for this nonsense.  But it turns out, after some marriage therapy, that THESE were the things that were lacking for my husband and caused him to feel unappreciated in our life together.  Am I the perfect wife now?  NO!  But I am more aware that men are wired way differently than women.



JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:26 PM

I had never hear heard love is a choice. It's true, but I never really thought of it that way before. Thanks!

Quoting Melissa823:

Love is a choice, not a feeling.

Marriage isn't 50/50 it's 100/100.

Never name-call.



JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:29 PM

What would your advice be to your kids?

Quoting iHay:

Not that I remember. Only nonsense like "never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge".  But I don't remember anything serious.

Quoting JenniferW67:

Nothing? Not even, don't go to bed angry?

Quoting iHay:

I don't think I've ever recieved advice in that way...




JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:31 PM

Slow down and dance more is good. At least there's still time.

Quoting jmlmomma:

Thanks,

It's not always been easy but we dust each other off and keep at it...

I can't beieve 27 years have gone by.... It really does get away from you.... Wish we had slowed down, danced and laughed more. 

Quoting JenniferW67:

I love the 100% advise. It's so true. 27 years?! Congratulations! You're doing something right! 

Quoting jmlmomma:

The day before my wedding an elderly man from church told me "it's not 50/50 its 100/100..It takes both working at it 100% of the time" so true now soon to be 27 years later I can say soooo true! 50% wouldn't cut it.... 

My mom always said.."If her treats his mother good, then he'll treat his wife good" I believe this is right also! 

I've always said.... "don't start something you don't plan on doing the rest of your life" in a relationship, some like to "put on" their best behaviour before the wedding and then as soon as the "I do" it stops... Or They are treated poorly during the courtship and think it's magically going to get better because of a ring... and that is simple not so..if anything it gets worse..




JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:36 PM

Those are such true words. My DH always "man's up". I love him for it. I hate excuses.

I have to know where the name Bigmetalchicken came from. I have an image in my head. lol.... love it!

Quoting Bigmetalchicken:

My grandmother told me, "Never marry someone hoping to change something you find annoying in them. Because they only way it will change, is that it will get 1000 times worse." 

also, "Never get marry a man that always has an excuse.  If he is not man enough to own up to his mistakes and faults, he is not man enough to be a good husband."  

I think both of these are fantastic, and very accurate. I am very glad I took them to heart, because of all of my cousins that she gave that advice to as well, I am the only one who followed it, and I am the only one in a happy marriage.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)