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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

What's The Best Marriage Or Relationship Advice You Were Ever Given

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I have a couple. One from my Mom who said "Only marry a man who knows how to fix things". Another was, only marry a man who you would be proud to have as a son.

What's the best advice you were given? You never know, it may help someone.

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 4:17 PM
Replies (21-30):
Bigmetalchicken
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I am a huge fan of the Bloggess, and Beyonce, her big metal rooster.  Knock Knock Motherfucker, is an acceptable greeting between my friends and I.

Quoting JenniferW67:

Those are such true words. My DH always "man's up". I love him for it. I hate excuses.

I have to know where the name Bigmetalchicken came from. I have an image in my head. lol.... love it!

Quoting Bigmetalchicken:

My grandmother told me, "Never marry someone hoping to change something you find annoying in them. Because they only way it will change, is that it will get 1000 times worse." 

also, "Never get marry a man that always has an excuse.  If he is not man enough to own up to his mistakes and faults, he is not man enough to be a good husband."  

I think both of these are fantastic, and very accurate. I am very glad I took them to heart, because of all of my cousins that she gave that advice to as well, I am the only one who followed it, and I am the only one in a happy marriage.



JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:39 PM

It all seems so cliche', but this really IS what keeps a marriage stong.

Quoting Awakened1:

Always strive for better in your relationship by taking a step back every now and then and evaluating things.
Put in the effort.
Listen to each others needs and wants.
Remember to appreciate the little things.
Never go to bed angry/ with situations unresolved.
Keep communication open.
Grow together and not apart.
Don't be selfish.


arthistmom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:41 PM
2 moms liked this
From an old Arizona cowboy: "Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff."
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Twix.Leigh
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:41 PM
1 mom liked this
That's pretty much what he said lol.


Quoting jmlmomma:

Drunk or not I love this! He was a wise man! 

Quoting Twix.Leigh:

Given to my SO from a very drunk guy when I was pregnant "no matter how long you've been together, never stop chasing her, always act like you are still competition with someone else. Even when you marry her and been together years and years and your old and dying, treat her as though you've just met, and you need to win her affections. And always dance, even if there's no music. Slow, and close."

Goes both ways too.



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Twix.Leigh
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:43 PM
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I've had to stop and remind myself of this a few times. Drunk people and children are the most honest.


Quoting JenniferW67:

That's awesome advise. Hooray for the very drunk guy! lol It's so easy to stop seeing what you saw in them in   the beginning and what someone else may be seeing in them now.

Quoting Twix.Leigh:

Given to my SO from a very drunk guy when I was pregnant "no matter how long you've been together, never stop chasing her, always act like you are still competition with someone else. Even when you marry her and been together years and years and your old and dying, treat her as though you've just met, and you need to win her affections. And always dance, even if there's no music. Slow, and close."

Goes both ways too.



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iHay
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:44 PM
2 moms liked this

Follow your instincts, pray (a lot) before making any big decisions and the small ones too, never be too hasty to make assumptions. Find someone who shares your faith. **ETA** Never put up with being mistreated.

Quoting JenniferW67:

What would your advise be to your kids?

Quoting iHay:

Not that I remember. Only nonsense like "never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge".  But I don't remember anything serious.

Quoting JenniferW67:

Nothing? Not even, don't go to bed angry?

Quoting iHay:

I don't think I've ever recieved advice in that way...





unsuspected
by Gold Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:47 PM
3 moms liked this

Listen.

And listening doesn't just mean being quiet while your husband is speaking.  Listening is as, if not MORE important as speaking when it comes to meaningful communication.  And as for speaking, the words you choose really do matter to get your point across in a way your spouse can understand.  No two people have the same interpretation of things, so questions, questions, questions while speaking and while listening.  

That wasn't really marital advice, I got that from a Communications class I was taking but MAN, the concepts work in every aspect of life because it's so easy to take things for granted and then wonder why the misunderstandings and hurt feelings happen!  


iHay
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:49 PM
2 moms liked this

I've read this a lot so I'll add it.
Love is a verb, it is something you do so that you can have love (the feeling).

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this

 I have a friend who said we should both pursue our own interests and read the paper so we have something to talk about and connect over. It's true. When you spend so much time over the years you run out of things to say and silence is never good!

unsuspected
by Gold Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:52 PM
1 mom liked this

As for cliche advice that really is true ... Love is a choice.  There are times when my husband bugs me (or visa versa) or I'm annoyed at him (or he at me) for whatever reason and it's easy to not LIKE the other, in that moment,  but I always love him, he always loves me.  We take a step back and figure, this is my partnerfor the rest of my life, does THIS situation change that?  Nope.  So we choose to work through it and love eachother.  Because it's better to be HAPPY than to be right.  (another good cliche)   

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