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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

What's The Best Marriage Or Relationship Advice You Were Ever Given

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I have a couple. One from my Mom who said "Only marry a man who knows how to fix things". Another was, only marry a man who you would be proud to have as a son.

What's the best advice you were given? You never know, it may help someone.

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 4:17 PM
Replies (31-40):
JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Good advice. I'm not sure if it's all small stuff, but it's smart to just let the little stuff go. I'm a little type A and this has been harder to learn than I would like.

Quoting arthistmom:

From an old Arizona cowboy: "Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff."


JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:20 PM
3 moms liked this

Its awful when you feel like you're being heard. And, its sad to think of how many arguments could have been avoided if only more questions were asked or if words were clarified.

Quoting unsuspected:

Listen.

And listening doesn't just mean being quiet while your husband is speaking.  Listening is as, if not MORE important as speaking when it comes to meaningful communication.  And as for speaking, the words you choose really do matter to get your point across in a way your spouse can understand.  No two people have the same interpretation of things, so questions, questions, questions while speaking and while listening.  

That wasn't really marital advice, I got that from a Communications class I was taking but MAN, the concepts work in every aspect of life because it's so easy to take things for granted and then wonder why the misunderstandings and hurt feelings happen!  



JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:23 PM

I totally believe this is true.

Quoting iHay:

I've read this a lot so I'll add it.
Love is a verb, it is something you do so that you can have love (the feeling).


MonkeyMommyNJ
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:29 PM
2 moms liked this

"listen to me i know what i am talkig about" coming from my mother who has been married 3 times... i laughed in he face! no thanks im good....

on a serious note

my grandmother said: "dont sweat the small stuff and pick your battles.. and remember to talk to each other and tell each other i love you every chance you can remember to do so" she was married happily for 65 years before her passing in 09' my granfather died the following year.. he just kept saying he couldnt go on with out her.. he was sick but i think he died of a broken heart.. he lost the will to keep fighting

JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Isn't sad when you see a couple at a restaurant who don't say a word to each other all through the meal. I just want to go over and shake them so they have something to talk about! It makes me wonder what's gong on inside their heads.

Quoting furbabymum:

 I have a friend who said we should both pursue our own interests and read the paper so we have something to talk about and connect over. It's true. When you spend so much time over the years you run out of things to say and silence is never good!


boshs1andonly
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:30 PM
4 moms liked this

It's okay to go to bed angry. Sometimes it's best to stop before you say things you can't take back. When I was growing up, my dad had a bad habit of saying what he wanted when he was angry then acting like it didn't matter anymore the next day (my sisters have picked up the same habit). I hated it, because even when there was an apology, which there hardly ever was, it didn't undo the damage. So when dh and I are really angry, we agree to put it on hold, calm down and talk again later. If it means going to be angry, sometimes that's just how it has to be. 

1squishysmom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:32 PM
1 mom liked this

 I don't recall ever getting marriage advise from anyone. I must have done ok without it since we have been married over 21 years

preacherskid
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:32 PM
4 moms liked this

Communicate.  Openly and without fear- I learned from my parents to "fight in the bedroom but make up in the kitchen" lol- they always hashed things out in private, so we never saw them arguing, but they would make up in the kitchen, right in front of us :)

ashmac03
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:33 PM
5 moms liked this

"Never go to be angry" is bullshit!  Two angry and tired people are not going to make good decisions.  They are going to be unreasonable, nonsensical and cranky.  Go to bed, recharge and in the morning work it out like two well rested adults.  

 

MomRocs1102
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this

The best thing you can have is a man who really loves you.... My grandmother told me this, i think we were already married when she said, but i understood her.  I had an ex that i was with for some years and i loved him enough to deal with all kinds of drama, lies, and bs thinking he loved me and i realized if he loved me like i loved him it wouldn't be this way.  Then i realized I know longer loved him.  Well after dating around for a while just being single dh and i got together and that when i got the advice (that's above).  I completely agree with it, there is no feeling like having a man who loves me(really loves me).  Oh and before we married my aunt said to me you can get a big d*ck anywhere, like don't marry for something simple like sprung over sex lol. Other than that i didnt get much advice.

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