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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Any advice on blended families...

Posted by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:03 AM
  • 23 Replies
1 mom liked this

So I have been with my DH now for almost four years, we just got married though like a month before. He has three children from a previous marriage, who I love and adore with all my heart as if they were my own...I don't  have any biological children. I would like to have one in the future I am just afraid of how it will affect the kids and their reaction to it. My husband has stated that they would be perfectly okay with it, but I don't want them to feel as if Daddy is forgetting about them. He's a great father, he cooks, he cleans, he even does puke detail (lol).


Has anyone out here been in a similar situation? Any advice you could give me? Thank you in advance!




by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mrs-haynes24
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:21 AM
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They would be fine. I been with my fiancé for 4yrs now. We just got engage, but 3 yrs ago I was pregnant and had a miscarriage. When we told gis kids I was preg they took it fine. The one that wasn't as happy was his ex wife...smh she gave him hell. But regardless of it, you shouldn't put on hold what you want for nobody. And if you dont try you would never know.
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Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 6:08 AM
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What an awesome step mom you are! Blending families is very difficult but just the fact that you are concerned about it leads me to believe his kids will be accepting and you will do your best to make them feel loved.

Fields456
by Silver Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 6:28 AM
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I have a dd from a previous marriage. She is almost 7 when she was 5 1/2 dh and I had a baby and it has been great. Dd is an amazing big sister Although dd was 2 1/2 when I met dh. But her dad and his wife have been trying for a baby too. They were pregnant but she lost the baby. They told dd before it happened and she was so excited.

Good luck
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earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Dec. 29, 2012 at 2:48 PM
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They will be fine as long as they are all treated the same. I had 4 biological kids full custody when I met my husband who had full custody of his one biological daughter and we all loved eachother right away, it felt like we had always belonged together and we loved eachothers kids as our very own literally and raised all 5 together exactly the same and all 5 of them always told us they wished that Todd and I would have a baby together (we couldnt because he had a vasectomy AND I had a hysterectomy), they are all young adults now and now we are all best friends.

 

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OregonMom80
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 2:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I thought my DSS might care, but he was actually excited we were considering having a baby.  Of course, I'm not sure he understands the reality of it - that the baby won't really be a playmate since they'll be almost 11 years apart.  I have siblings that much younger than me though and it is different than close-aged sibs, but still fun.

Monsita
by Silver Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:11 PM
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The key is to have the same rules for everyone EVEN THE LITTLE ONES!!!

LOVING THEM THE SAME/DISCIPLINING THE SAME.

MommyTo5Boys
by Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:12 PM

You and your DH reaction to the situation will determine how his children react to it.

Make them apart of everything, call it "our baby" not "my baby", and openly talk to them about it, have a real conversation on how everyone is feeling.

   ~*~ Mommy To 5 Amazing Boys ~*~
 ~*~ Wife To 1 Wonderful Husband ~*~LilySlim Weight loss tickers

MomToovey
by Marianne on Dec. 29, 2012 at 5:11 PM

 I haven't been in the situation personally, but I would like to offer this bit of encouragement. While I personally have never experienced it, I have plenty of friends and family who have. Never have I seen step children respond in any way other than lovingly when their father and step mother have their own children - in a situation where the father is a loving and attentive father, and the step mom loves the children as her own.

momoftwo902
by New Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 7:01 PM

i have two from a previous marriage. one is 12 one is 6 and just had a baby in July with my fiance and my kids are great they love having a brother and it hasn't presented a problem so far.

Lorena
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:09 AM
They will be fine. The key however is to make everyone feel special and lived without showing any favoritism to any particular child.
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