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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Any advice on blended families...

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So I have been with my DH now for almost four years, we just got married though like a month before. He has three children from a previous marriage, who I love and adore with all my heart as if they were my own...I don't  have any biological children. I would like to have one in the future I am just afraid of how it will affect the kids and their reaction to it. My husband has stated that they would be perfectly okay with it, but I don't want them to feel as if Daddy is forgetting about them. He's a great father, he cooks, he cleans, he even does puke detail (lol).


Has anyone out here been in a similar situation? Any advice you could give me? Thank you in advance!




by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:03 AM
Replies (11-20):
happysnappyJ
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 11:11 AM
1 mom liked this

My husband has two children from his first wife, two amazing little girls who are my entire world. We've been married 6 years, they're 13 and 9. We have two biological children, both boys, who are 3 and 9 months, and I am pregnant. It was a transition when I was pregnant and had our first son, but we made sure we didn't treat the new baby any differently, we still did the same things with the girls that we had done before, and it wasn't even that hard, because we loved all the children the same. 

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 11:26 AM

 Every situation in different because all people are different.

dallas4nu
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this
My best advice is to love all children the same, well, at least make them feel that you do. You say you love them as your own, and no doubt you feel you do, but believe me, you will notice a big difference when you have your own child. I know I did. And that's pretty normal. But do everything you can to make sure your step kids never know/feel that. That's my best advice.
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dallas4nu
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:08 PM
Wow...were these all planned pregnancies? Your a brave women! Lol


Quoting happysnappyJ:

My husband has two children from his first wife, two amazing little girls who are my entire world. We've been married 6 years, they're 13 and 9. We have two biological children, both boys, who are 3 and 9 months, and I am pregnant. It was a transition when I was pregnant and had our first son, but we made sure we didn't treat the new baby any differently, we still did the same things with the girls that we had done before, and it wasn't even that hard, because we loved all the children the same. 


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happysnappyJ
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 1:00 PM

Yes. This pregnancy wasn't really planned per se, but we weren't preventing it either. Why do you say brave woman? 

Quoting dallas4nu:

Wow...were these all planned pregnancies? Your a brave women! Lol


Quoting happysnappyJ:

My husband has two children from his first wife, two amazing little girls who are my entire world. We've been married 6 years, they're 13 and 9. We have two biological children, both boys, who are 3 and 9 months, and I am pregnant. It was a transition when I was pregnant and had our first son, but we made sure we didn't treat the new baby any differently, we still did the same things with the girls that we had done before, and it wasn't even that hard, because we loved all the children the same. 



carlajrn2013
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 3:02 PM

First I would have to say that I hope that the kids would not think that"Daddy is forgetting about them" as you stated. They should be fine and will adjust with time as with anything else that's probably occuring in their lives. I say go for it and have a baby!!

MrsSexyCurtains
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this

This.  My step mom is a bitch from hell, and if I could hate anyone it would be her.  She wanted it to be just her, my dad and my step sister and for him to leave me and my oldest sister our of the picture.  Well she got her wish but now my dads seeing how closed off we are to him and how dd is a lot closer to my mom.  My step mom would buy me garage sale clothes and get clothes from the mall for my step sister.  She would make me walk to school while she drove my sister and it's a lot of other things as well.

As long as you treat them equally and don't ever give favoritism to your child, then they will be more than happy if y'all had a child.  I'm not saying don't spoil your own child but if you want to do something for your child just remember not to leave the others out.

Quoting Lorena:

They will be fine. The key however is to make everyone feel special and lived without showing any favoritism to any particular child.


supermomz25
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 3:19 PM

I have 2 children from a previous relationship and I married my husband 4 years ago. we had one child and my older children adore him and love having a little brother. the older ones love my husband and he takes care of them as well as our little one.

Lorena
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 4:29 PM
I agree I have 4 of my own and 3 step kids.If I do something for my own I do it for skids as well and vis versa.

Quoting MrsSexyCurtains:

This.  My step mom is a bitch from hell, and if I could hate anyone it would be her.  She wanted it to be just her, my dad and my step sister and for him to leave me and my oldest sister our of the picture.  Well she got her wish but now my dads seeing how closed off we are to him and how dd is a lot closer to my mom.  My step mom would buy me garage sale clothes and get clothes from the mall for my step sister.  She would make me walk to school while she drove my sister and it's a lot of other things as well.

As long as you treat them equally and don't ever give favoritism to your child, then they will be more than happy if y'all had a child.  I'm not saying don't spoil your own child but if you want to do something for your child just remember not to leave the others out.


Quoting Lorena:

They will be fine. The key however is to make everyone feel special and lived without showing any favoritism to any particular child.


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dallas4nu
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Because..a 3 month old, a 9 month old, and one on the way? That takes guts, mama! Mine will be 20 months apart and I was freakin out in the beginning - I can't imagine 6 months apart lol


Quoting happysnappyJ:

Yes. This pregnancy wasn't really planned per se, but we weren't preventing it either. Why do you say brave woman? 


Quoting dallas4nu:

Wow...were these all planned pregnancies? Your a brave women! Lol





Quoting happysnappyJ:

My husband has two children from his first wife, two amazing little girls who are my entire world. We've been married 6 years, they're 13 and 9. We have two biological children, both boys, who are 3 and 9 months, and I am pregnant. It was a transition when I was pregnant and had our first son, but we made sure we didn't treat the new baby any differently, we still did the same things with the girls that we had done before, and it wasn't even that hard, because we loved all the children the same. 





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