My husband has been divorced 3 times. Each time it was that hateful woman's fault (i thought). When times got tough they left him. People aren't perfect, everyone makes mistakes. Its for better or worse didn't they remember?
Now I'm that hateful woman. The problem is simple. He's an alcoholic. And all the crap that goes with it. I'm TIRED of having important conversations about life that he doesn't ever remember. I'm TIRED of him spending money on booze when we don't have money for groceries. I'm tired of being told that everything is my fault. I'm tired of all of it. We've talked and talked. He knows what the problem is but he likes to drink and has no desire to change. If he wanted to change I would totally stay and help him. But he doesn't and I can't live like this and its unhealthy for our son.
Every fiber of my being wants to stay and make this work. But that one little intelligent spot in my brain, backed up by my friends, knows that this is stupid and going to get worse.
How do I do this? I don't want to hurt him. I want to stay friends. He tells me constantly that he's done with me, I'm crazy, its all my fault, I'm a drama queen. But his behavior seems to cry out "help me, I don't want you to leave".
I'm so torn in two and we have no money for a counsellor. We don't even have money for rent.