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10 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Right Now - What is your marriage advice?

Posted by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 11:18 AM
  • 11 Replies
1 mom liked this

10 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Right Now

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham on December 28, 2012 

marriageMarriage is not easy. When you've seen people who make it 10, 15, and 30 years together, you know you are looking at two people who have fought, compromised, and stayed committed to one another through a lot. There's a lot to be learned from these people. 

But marriages don't fail from big problems, at least not all the time. Very often, people end up splitting over the small things, especially once the small things add up.

With this in mind, I asked around for advice, small ways that people can improve their love and their marriage today. This doesn't include therapy or major sucking up or any major effort on the part of anyone. These are small things that can make a big difference.

So here are 10 important ways you can improve your marriage RIGHT NOW. See below:

  1. Apologize when you are wrong: Forget pride. If you realize you are wrong in a fight, admit it and say you are sorry. It will make a world of difference in terms of staying close.
  2. Imagine the other person gone during a fight: There is no better way to stop a fight than to imagine losing or missing the other person. That sadness? That tightness in your chest? That's the love you feel for them.
  3. Laugh more: For me, this is the biggest secret to 10 years of marriage. My husband and I crack each other up. We roll on the floor laughing and genuinely enjoy each other's company. This is what keeps us strong.
  4. Arrange weekly meetings: If you have young kids and two careers, there is nothing more important than having weekly "meetings." It may not be romantic, but neither is nagging, and this curbs that a lot. From a friend who has started them: "It has been very helpful from a practical side of just getting through everyday life as a team." Amen.
  5. Schedule sex: It's not romantic, but in our busy lives, it's necessary. Pencil that shite in, because you know what's less romantic? A sexless marriage.
  6. Talk about the little things: Talk about the big things, but also discuss the little things. Talk and then talk some more. The more you talk, the more you learn.
  7. Have your own life: No one likes someone with no friends. So get hobbies. Get friends. Get a life! Now! It will make your spouse appreciate you more.
  8. Remember to thank the other person: It's true. However small it seems, remember to say thanks for small things, even if they are expected. "Hey, thanks for making dinner tonight." It creates a lot of goodwill and helps each person feel appreciated.
  9. Stop yelling: No one is suggesting you stop fighting. Some fights are needed. But stop yelling. And name calling. And fighting dirty. Trust me.
  10. Hold hands: Even when you are mad at each other, just touch. Whether it's in bed or out of bed. Sometimes the simple act of touching one another can help curb angry feelings.

What is your marriage advice? How do you make it last?

by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 11:47 AM

You may have to come to agree to table an argument until the morning when you are both clearer headed, but never ever leave the house angry.  I don't care why you need to leave the house, just don't do it.  You don't want the last words spoken between you to be angry words....if something dreadful were to happen, that would haunt you for the rest of your life.

by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 12:26 PM
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Don't name call, it automatically escalates the situation.

Choose your battles, not eveything is worth a fight.

by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 12:32 PM
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Well we have been together for 30 years, my advice have a date night. Take about 30-45 minutes each day to ask each other about the day. Cut the tv and the games off and communicate. I will admit sometimes I want to take my ears off and put it on the bed but I listen.

Remember you don't always have to be right. Do a lot of listening. Get to know your man by asking questions and really listening for the answers. Marriage is about getting to know each other. When you are emotionally connected to your man and really understand him he may stray but he will never leave you.

by Marianne on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:57 PM

 My favorite piece of advice is not to worry about going to bed angry. If you try to hash it all out before going to bed, you're going to be tired, not get much sleep, and run the risk of saying something you don't really mean, making things much worse. But if you sleep on it, it gives you a chance to cool down a bit and talk about it more civilly in the morning.

But if you do go to bed angry, don't forget to say I love you before going to sleep. Just because you're angry doesn't mean you don't love each other. And since tomorrow is never guaranteed, you don't want your last words to be anything less than positive and meaningful

by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 5:53 PM

 Be honest and express your feelings, our spouses are not mind readers and only know what we tell them.

by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 7:02 PM
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by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 8:17 PM

 Stop playing with the computer and play with each other.   This translates to all activities that might make someone feel neglected. 

by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 8:21 PM
Put God first in your marriage. Ask Him before ur bf.
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by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:50 AM

I would add number 1 should be to pray for your spouse.

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:58 AM

State your opinion/solution on a matter then leave it....beating a dead horse does little to improve a situation

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