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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Does this make me a horrible person or are these normal feelings to have?

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 1:40 PM
  • 20 Replies
In the (almost) eight years I have been married, I have had two "girls night out". In the past I have mentioned to hubby about getting some time away from the kids and just time away from the madness. He always sets it up so that it's a date night for us. I love having date nights but it would be nice to be able to get away from it all, with some other ladies. It would be nice for hubby to stay home with the kids while I go out for a few hours. He gets to go out to play hockey with his friends, why can't I get a few hours away. And I dont mean grocery shopping or running a few errands, which in hubbys mind that's time away from it all, time for myself. I guess it is in a way but it's still part of the family life. Im now getting to the point where Im wearing quite thin of everything and I honestly need time away. Really bad. I feel like Im just going to lose it. I feel like a bad person for wanting time away from them all.
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by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 1:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 1:52 PM

start making plans for time out with friends. Join a book club or another girls outing once a week and do not let him talk you into not going. Stop feeling bad for wanting time out. its healthy for you, him and the kids.

Chakita0912
by Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:00 PM
You are not a bad person.. My friends and I when we need girl time we usually set up a dinner out.. Just girls.. No guys and no kids.. We go and have a good time.. We vent laugh and just enjoy ourselves and when we all get home we feel better and it is like a fresh start.. We try to do it like one a month or every other month, but with the holidays and everything we haven't had time not money to do it.. We are talking about setting one up after the new year.. We all need a break.. I hope this helps and gives you an idea..
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TommyAbby
by Melissa on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:26 PM

hell no. I do a girl's night once a month. Go to dinner or the movies or dancing. Every coupld of months I go to NYC to stay with my girlfriend for the weekend.

 It's healthy. He can have his hockey, you can go out as well. It helps keep your sanity. You can relax, have fun, and then come back to "life" refreshed. 

ttc1rainbow
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 4:12 PM

 You're not wrong or a bad person for feeling that way at all. It's healthy for couples to have time apart like that. He gets his fun, you deserve yours too!!

Robsessed98
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 4:19 PM
Id tell - not ask - him Im going to start going out with my friends on whatever night and he was keeping the kids. If he fussed, Id remind him he gets time off and whats good for him is good for me. Fair is fair.
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Amberleigh81
by Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 4:23 PM
No. Ladies nights/days are an important way to recharge.

Trigger: My BFF's mom NEVER took time away from her husband. She says she never wanted to... well, he died suddenly 4 years ago at 57, and she was DEVESTATED. She had NO friends that weren't "couple friends" and she couldn't face couples while she was grieving. She fell into a huge depression and almost took her own life.

Please make a life/support beyond your husband, for your health!
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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Dec. 30, 2012 at 4:32 PM

Nah. I think everyone needs some time away from both husband and kids. You deserve it.

pittymama
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 4:40 PM
1 mom liked this

i agree. DH and i don't get "fun time" right now (seperate or together) but we will eventually and we can't wait.

Quoting ttc1rainbow:

 You're not wrong or a bad person for feeling that way at all. It's healthy for couples to have time apart like that. He gets his fun, you deserve yours too!!


AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Dec. 30, 2012 at 7:23 PM

Start making your own plans for a girls night before you mention that you need time away.  When he pipes up with, "hey, let's go here.." tell him that you already made plans.  If he gets upset, tell him, "tough".  You deserve down time too hun.

mrs.Martinez201
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 7:25 PM
That's normal.... I don't do it much but I do get time away
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