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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

HELP!!! Stuck in a dilemma

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I really need some advice. My husband just recently took a job out of town in his hometown making more money than where we are living now. We had originally decided that he would only go there to work for 6 months and then return home to us.  Now things might be changing to where we might move to where he is instead but that will still have to wait until the summer when the kids get out of school. The problem is my mom. I know she is going to have a fit when she finds out that we might move. When we were going to move there a few years ago she went ballistic saying she was going to take us to court to try and get custody of our kids because we were taking them away from her. I was speechless. We didn't end up moving for other reasons but now I'm terrified to tell her anything, not even that we are thinking about it.  It's not a definite decision yet but it is a strong possibility. I want to start over again with my family and I think this is the perfect opportunity to. How do I tell my mom without her flipping out and making me feel guilty for leaving?

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:06 PM
Replies (11-18):
hollydaze1974
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 11:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah, well... She'll get over it. You are welcome to move your family wherever in the world you want.
You can't escape the ravings of a mother who thinks she can file for custody. Moving sounds like it's a pretty good idea just based off that, honestly.
divinemomma
by Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:03 PM

Ask her if she wants to pay your bills so you and hubby can stay...

kagegirl
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:28 PM

Unfortunately, you cannot tell her in any way that will make her reaction better. She sounds overbearing. Chnces are, she will threaten and since you stayed before, she thinks that it was because of her threats, so this time will be worse. All you can do is tell her. and when she threatens court, tell her Go Ahead. THe court is NOT going to give custody to her, trust me. 

Snapdragon88
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:33 PM
1 mom liked this
If my mother ever threatened to take my kids away, I wouldn't be worried about her feelings ever again.
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MomRocs1102
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM

Tell her you all have to do whats best for your family. She is always welcome to visit, plain and simple.  You shouldn't feel bad, or guilty for making moves for you and your family to be okay. I would be pissed at someone threatening me about my kids that would be enough for me to care less and move on anyway.  Good luck.

MomRocs1102
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:35 PM
1 mom liked this

That part shocked me, that boils my noddles threatening to take peoples kids.

Quoting Snapdragon88:

If my mother ever threatened to take my kids away, I wouldn't be worried about her feelings ever again.


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MamaDearie
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:56 PM

Ummmm I am confused. Why would she even remotely be able to try to take your kids? You are a grown woman. I don't get it....

"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother." (Lin Yutang)


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LilliesValley
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 2:01 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't know if you can tell her without her flipping out. She can't take your kids away from you for moving, that's absurd. She'd be wasting her money. If she starts up with that talk I would just say point blank, "Mom, you're acting crazy. I'm sure you don't realize this. If you plan to go ahead with this you are going to waste money and damage our relationship. I want your help, not your opposition. Instead of taking me to court, save that money for a plane ticket and you can come stay with us a month after we are moved in." She will have to deal with it from there, because really what's her choice? I know that must be sad and frustrating for you but she needs to remember they are your kids and not hers. For whatever reason sometimes grandparents forget this.

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