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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

is it wrong?

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:00 PM
  • 31 Replies

After christmas i got a bunch of picture frames on sale, none are christmas but since they were sold as christmas items they were real cheap. im doing a kind of collage on my living room wall and in the center has a sign that says "FAMILY, a journey to forever. Well one of the frames i got was a cute blue frame that has alittle airplane and says "the boys" In the frame I planned on putting a picture of my son and his soon to be new brother (from his father, my ex husband.) My SO freaked out and said that it wasnt right, because the kid is not ours. To me, the boy is my sons brother. Just because he is not technically MY family, he is my sons and will always be. To me that is family. Me and my exhusband and his wife are close, and I do see them as family.

My So said I might as well hang a picture of them on the wall. No, i would not, to me that would be a weird. As much as I see them as family, there not that kind of family. But I just dont see how a picture of my son and his brother is wrong. My So said its a reminder of my ex. i just thought that was silly, because if thats the case isnt my son a reminder? Of coarse Im going to rember my ex, we were married and we have a child together, but to me if the picture of the boys reminds me of anything it would be how blessed we all are. We were miserable while married, and have since both found someone new that is perfect for each of us, and we have both had more kids that we love. My ex and his wife were nothing but supportive when I gave birth to my daughter, they bought her things, and even help watch her for a minute if i need to run to the store while my SO is at work. I understand we aren't the normal, divorced family. Maybe THAT does make us weird. Sometimes i think my SO is just jelous because himand his ex (who he has a daughter with) have been divorced even longer and still cant even be in the same room together....Anyways (back on topic) I just dont see the issue, the wall isnt just of our kids. Its all kinds of family and friends. So why is my sons brother not allowed?

Am I crazy, is it weird for me to do that?  

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Robsessed98
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:04 PM
2 moms liked this
Is your dh jealous and insecure? Thats the only reason I can think of for him to have such a problem with it. Your sons brother should be considered a family extension and your son should witness him being accepted by both you and dh. Hes being ridiculous.
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polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this
Family is family, in my opinion as well. I'm sure you don't want to raise your children to think that the parents' relationship is more important than the children's. I would do the same thing. I haven't run into that issue myself yet though. My ex is still single and hasn't had any other kids.
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my4loves4
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:08 PM

thank you, and no he is not usually jelous at all, thats why this just confuses me. I dont know what other reason he would have, to even care!

Jenn_A
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:19 PM

So maybe you should hang that picture in your son's room. It isn't that I think your husband is right, but if it makes him feel weird, why do it? Blended familys are hard enough, and if he accepts you and your ex being close, I'd give him this.

My son has pics of his bio mom(I have adopted him and she is a druggy and deadbeat) I would NEVER take them away, and I do wish they could have a relationship, but my stomach lurches every time I see those pics. EVERY TIME. It has been 7 years since I adopted the boy, and it still hurts. I can't explain it, but I can't stop it either, so I guess I do understand your husband's point of view.

my4loves4
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 9:33 PM


Quoting Jenn_A:

So maybe you should hang that picture in your son's room. It isn't that I think your husband is right, but if it makes him feel weird, why do it? Blended familys are hard enough, and if he accepts you and your ex being close, I'd give him this.

My son has pics of his bio mom(I have adopted him and she is a druggy and deadbeat) I would NEVER take them away, and I do wish they could have a relationship, but my stomach lurches every time I see those pics. EVERY TIME. It has been 7 years since I adopted the boy, and it still hurts. I can't explain it, but I can't stop it either, so I guess I do understand your husband's point of view.

Your probly right. Its a fight not really worth the war about, I think if he would of just explained to me why it was such a big deal to him I wouldnt of got so upset about it. Instead he just blew up and said a bunch of things that didnt even make since and some that even hurt me. I think that just made me want to do it more to prove my point. Im going to give the fight a couple days to blow over and then try and talk to him about it. If it really does bother him, i have no problem keeping it in my sons room.

i.heart.myboys
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:27 AM


Quoting Robsessed98:

Is your dh jealous and insecure? Thats the only reason I can think of for him to have such a problem with it. Your sons brother should be considered a family extension and your son should witness him being accepted by both you and dh. Hes being ridiculous.
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hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:10 AM
That's insane on his part. " half" siblings are SIBLINGS. I've no clue what his problem is. It's really rude to make the " half" a huge deal, it's hurtful to make that separation.
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ryryab
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:12 AM

Half siblings are siblings!!!! I'm closer to one of my half siblings than I am to some of my full siblings. I think it's weird that he has an issue acknowledging your son's brother. 

LaughingTattoo
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this

Your dh is being redculous. And insecure. And childish. I think its awesome that you are that family oriented and want to include your sons hlf brother. And thats as it should be. Hang the picture and tell dh to get over it.

I have a photo of the girls and their father in my girls room. Before I got married it was in the living room. My dh has never dared say a word about it.

sandra1023
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:24 AM
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He is being weird about it.  That said, he deserves to feel comfortable in his home, so I would just put that pic in my son's room.

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