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ddh has a chick friend...advice???

a little history on the whole thing....he talked to her before we we're together only on the phone though an met her four times in person... when we got together (I was 16 he was 19) an I found out about her I didn't like it. let's face it when your a teenager every female is a threat to you. any who we got In a argument about it an he said he would never talk to her again... four yrs later all of a sudden she texts him out the blue an they start chatting it up. he doesn't keep it a secret from me that they are texting back an fourth an I wasn't ok with it but I was dealing with it because I don't think he would cheat on me or anything like  that. well he in invites her to stay a weekend withwith us without asking me first. I've oonly met the girl once (before me an dh started dating) an  I thought we were going there for dh an the girl to meet up am have a date.. so it was a lititle awkward because I felt like the third wheel  but they were just friends. me personally I find it awkward an weird for him to be trying to rekindle thAt friendship when he said he would never talk to her again. and also he has no male friends what so ever. when We started getting our lives together all his friends disappeared be cause he wasn't supporting there bad habits any more to say the least an he hasn't made anymore friends since then.I guess I just need other female advice on how to handle this or what to do.... I don't trust any  female except my bestie. all the stories I've read on here make me very weary of females..... let me know how you would handle this and what you would dodo.thanks in advance.

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:26 AM
Replies (11-20):
hthrlcl
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 5:27 AM
yep hubby had a friend like that once, i had a gut feeling, told him not to talk to her anymore. Then a year later i found out they was having an affair for the whole year.....
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Gmgej
by Michele on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:32 AM

This is what I call the begining of a self fulfilled prophecy. It wouldn't have even begun in my marriage, I wouldn't have married anyone who would think that this is ok. Never would either my dh or I think it was ok to invite someone to sleep over without talking it over with each other.

i.heart.myboys
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:56 AM
Good luck.
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ryryab
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:24 AM

I think him inviting her to stay without asking would bug me more than anything. But just him having a female friend, not so much. My so has a female friend, they've been friends since 1st grade, and they talk often. But, they also didn't have 4 years of no communication, then suddenly started again, so that is a bit odd. I'd just talk to him, maybe get to know her, see how close they are. You don't want to cause an issue if they really are close friends, I mean, do you know why she suddenly just started up again with talking to him? And why would you not trust your bestie? Isn't that sort of a requirement, to trust your bestie, in order to HAVE a bestie? 

ProudMommy51006
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:40 AM
This would not fly with me. Not only would dh NOT be texting another female, that's plain disrespectful... texting is too private for my taste. But i would NOT be ok with dh showing so much interest in another female, friendship my ass. Red flags all over the place.
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smurfy88
by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:42 AM
Fuck that! I would not allow her to stay!
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mrs.hartman12
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:48 AM
Over my dead body would this fly. I am glad my husband respects me more than that.
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jack90
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:54 AM

that dose not sound like something normal if he agreed to stop talking to her it was for a reason he had feelings for her  and by them getting back to know each other again is a very bad idea sounds to me like she has another chance to make him fall for her don't let her stay with you and don't let your man fall for her .

MsTessie
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:40 AM

 I agree with the other posters. This sounds way too suspicious for me. I would not even allow such foolishness. And he's not respecting how you feel because he's so busy trying to accommodate the other chick. Girl put your foot down and mean it!!!

NDADanceMom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 11:17 AM

My husband and I arent comfortable with our mates having opposite sex friends.  Its one thing to say hi when you bump into someone but we dont hang out, call or text opposite sex friends out of respect.  That is just our way and it works for us.  you should work with your husband to find what works for you guys as a couple. 

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