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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

do you feel...

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:35 AM
  • 11 Replies

Do you feel that your DH/SO should show you he loves you and not just tell you?

Do you feel that actions speak louder than words when it comes to "I love you"?

What actions from DH show you that he loves you (besides sex)? 

I ask because my DH says he loves me multiple times a day, but ALL of his actions says the opposite.  I really wish that he would show me he loves me because I do believe that actions speak louder that his words. 

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
PerfectVirgo
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:37 AM

I'm sorry, idk what to say. =( that sucks.

hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:45 AM
What is he not doing that you think he should be doing?
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swthrt737
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:48 AM
1 mom liked this
I love it very much when my husband affirms,and he does 100%.(its the truth he does)


Helps with housework when he's free,helps with our DD when am tired or busy,cooks,does laundry etc.
Besides all the above he never rests when am not ok,he makes me feel secure,and he always advises and encourages me.
He's like a father to me.
R'mber if you want yr Dh to love you and do for you what you want,do the same to him. Tit for tat.
momofsunshine77
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:16 AM

not emotionally supportive - I can't talk to him without him turning it onto himself.  For example, if I have a bad day and try to talk to him about it when he gets home, he is like so it's my fault, I'm caused your problems, even though he wasn't even there and it's not his fault. 

Doesn't make me feel better when I need it.  I dont feel secure emotionally (financially I do - he is good at that)

He causes me more stress rather than less.  I could go on for a while about this, but for example he sees me running around doing 5 things at the same time and wants to have a conversation or is sitting on the couch or computer not doing anything.  I ask for help and he wants specific instructions (VERY SPECIFIC) which causes more stress. (LIke I cant say help with laundry I have to be specific and say put the darks in and start it and when it is done....on and on)

He contradicts himself and I dont know what he wants.  For example, he will say I want you to get some rest (because "he cares") but then he says he wants homemade bread from scratch or I need to do more stuff with the kids (I already do a lot like crafts and activities outside the house) when he know I already have a lot to do and dont get a lot of sleep as it is and he wants me to do more stuff but get more rest? doesnt make sense to me anyway.

These are just some examples. 

Quoting hollydaze1974:

What is he not doing that you think he should be doing?


ryryab
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:19 AM

I think showing is just as important as telling, sometimes more, depending on the type of people involved. My so actually doesn't say he loves me all that often, he isn't that open verbally (he does tell me, just not as often as I tell him or as I'd like sometimes) but he shows me, in a million little ways, that he loves me. He cuddles me at night, he makes me breakfast in bed, he records shows I like to watch if I can't watch them on time, he accepted this nut job cat that I love for some reason (he doesn't like cats!), he fully shares in doing the housework, which isn't that much since it's just the two of us, but still, the laundry can pile up when we are both working and I'm going to school. If your husband is showing you with actions that he doesn't care, then there is an issue. Have you mentioned this to him, how it makes you feel when he does certain things? 

momofsunshine77
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:24 AM

I have mentioned it to him and all he says is he is not an emotional person and will not let his emotions control him.  I sometimes think that he is afraid to open his heart up.  IDK

Quoting ryryab:

I think showing is just as important as telling, sometimes more, depending on the type of people involved. My so actually doesn't say he loves me all that often, he isn't that open verbally (he does tell me, just not as often as I tell him or as I'd like sometimes) but he shows me, in a million little ways, that he loves me. He cuddles me at night, he makes me breakfast in bed, he records shows I like to watch if I can't watch them on time, he accepted this nut job cat that I love for some reason (he doesn't like cats!), he fully shares in doing the housework, which isn't that much since it's just the two of us, but still, the laundry can pile up when we are both working and I'm going to school. If your husband is showing you with actions that he doesn't care, then there is an issue. Have you mentioned this to him, how it makes you feel when he does certain things? 


sandra1023
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:29 AM

My husband shows me.

There is a quote that says, "What you do speaks so loudly, that I cannot hear what you say."

Sounds like that applies to your husband.

alexsmomaubrys2
by Silver Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:29 AM


Quoting momofsunshine77:

Do you feel that your DH/SO should show you he loves you and not just tell you? Absolutely, love should be expressed with words, touch and exchange of emotions.

Do you feel that actions speak louder than words when it comes to "I love you"? Sometimes. I think it really depends.

What actions from DH show you that he loves you (besides sex)? Everything my husband does shows me love. Getting up and going to work, coming home, doing the dishes, making dinner, fixing the cabinet, mowing the lawn..etc.

I don't think that it all has to be about presents and pampering. Men show love in a different way than women do. Women want roses but men show their love through mowing the lawn, fixing the front door or doing the dishes.

I ask because my DH says he loves me multiple times a day, but ALL of his actions says the opposite.  I really wish that he would show me he loves me because I do believe that actions speak louder that his words. 

What is it that you want from him exactly? What do you feel he is doing wrong?


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ryryab
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:29 AM

That's possible. My SO was like that, and claims he still is, which is why he rarely says anything about his feelings for me, but he's always shown how much he loves me and how important I am to him, and after two years, he does feel more comfortable saying how he feels, but not by much. 

Quoting momofsunshine77:

I have mentioned it to him and all he says is he is not an emotional person and will not let his emotions control him.  I sometimes think that he is afraid to open his heart up.  IDK

Quoting ryryab:

I think showing is just as important as telling, sometimes more, depending on the type of people involved. My so actually doesn't say he loves me all that often, he isn't that open verbally (he does tell me, just not as often as I tell him or as I'd like sometimes) but he shows me, in a million little ways, that he loves me. He cuddles me at night, he makes me breakfast in bed, he records shows I like to watch if I can't watch them on time, he accepted this nut job cat that I love for some reason (he doesn't like cats!), he fully shares in doing the housework, which isn't that much since it's just the two of us, but still, the laundry can pile up when we are both working and I'm going to school. If your husband is showing you with actions that he doesn't care, then there is an issue. Have you mentioned this to him, how it makes you feel when he does certain things? 



momofsunshine77
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:36 AM

I am not that into presents and such.  If he would fix things that would be AWESOME.  Emotional support and being able to talk when I have a problem would be great too.  Comfort when upset, understanding when I explain how I feel, not having to nag to get him to fix something (LOL) 

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:


Quoting momofsunshine77:

Do you feel that your DH/SO should show you he loves you and not just tell you? Absolutely, love should be expressed with words, touch and exchange of emotions.

Do you feel that actions speak louder than words when it comes to "I love you"? Sometimes. I think it really depends.

What actions from DH show you that he loves you (besides sex)? Everything my husband does shows me love. Getting up and going to work, coming home, doing the dishes, making dinner, fixing the cabinet, mowing the lawn..etc.

I don't think that it all has to be about presents and pampering. Men show love in a different way than women do. Women want roses but men show their love through mowing the lawn, fixing the front door or doing the dishes.

I ask because my DH says he loves me multiple times a day, but ALL of his actions says the opposite.  I really wish that he would show me he loves me because I do believe that actions speak louder that his words. 

What is it that you want from him exactly? What do you feel he is doing wrong?



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