My fiance and I have been together for 5 years and still no date. Sometimes i think he really loves me and other times I feel like there is "something" sitting between us. He is always willing to do pretty much whatever I ask him to do and is always there for me. He doesn't always get me and when this happens he really feels that he is right because I'm "complicated". He's one extrme or the other. He moved to another state to be with me. He lfet his family and friends behind for me and that is a huge sacrifice that would really make me think he's the one. Then last year on my birthday, he ruined it. Mind you we have been together 5 years, so by now he should know me well enough to plan my birthday celebration. I'm am a pretty laid back person and my kids are my world. I have always spent every holidya with them because that's what families do. (IMO) Well, I would have been perfectly fine with chinese and a cake at home. Instead he made a huge mess. First he demanded I get dressed to go out with him, didn't tell me he arranged for my mom to babysit, then he planned a huge party at a resteraunt. His intentions were nice, but for some reason I get panic attacks when ever I'm in the public spotlight. I like to lay low, not have an entire resteraunt looking at me. He called the resteraunt several times making changes, cancelling reservations and rescheduling them. All the while making me look bad when I told him all I wanted was chinese at home, a cake and a movie. I wish I knew how to fix that. Anyway, my birthday was an arguement for a month. We don't live together and barely talk. We text and maybe only a few text a day. When we are together his attention is on his phone or playing with my kids. When he does pay attention to me he will rub my back for hours and is so sweet. I feel like we don't connect, but I also feel like 5 years is a long time to walk away and not try to make a real effort. I'm always telling him that I need him to open up and let me in, but nothing. He will talk to my mom about things more then he talks to me. Then the things he tells us, never match. They are always similar, but not close enough to not frustrate me. He has joked about having a child with someone else and paying child support so many times, that I don't know what to think. I'm just so confused about this. He always disagrees with things I say that really matter and then says he was joking. I don't find it funny. It seems like he is doing it on purpose to get a rise out me. The weird thing is that he really is a kind person and and so quiet.It seems more like he doesn't have a clue as to what he is doing.Almost an immaturity issue. I don't know if I'm looking for an out or just nervous about such a life changing event. How did you know that your SO was the right one? I only plan on getting married once and I don't want to make a mistake. I just don't know if I'm having cold feet or if it's something bigger then that.