This is so perfect and I agree with everything she is saying.
Today is our 10th Wedding Anniversary and we are happier then the day we were married!! =D
Today is my tenth anniversary, and so I've been reflecting on the last ten years. We've had ups and downs, problems and blessings, and so I guess I should try to share what shards of wisdom I've managed to acquire. In no particular order:
- Communication is very important for solving the big problems, but sometimes, the issue is just not worth talking about. Don't bother arguing just for the pleasure of being right. It's never worth it.
- Being married means sometimes you do things not because you want to, but because it will make the other person happy.
- Don't keep a running tally on anything ... who's cleaned the kitchen more, who's spent more frivolously, who's "given in" more often. You'll only start to think there's a third person in the marriage who's actually getting what they want all the time and doing none of the chores.
- There is no "one perfect person" for you; there are just people who would be easier or harder to live with. You may meet someone who would be easier to live with after you get married, but it doesn't mean you've made a mistake in marrying your spouse. "Easier" to live with still doesn't mean "easy," after all.
- Your happiness in the relationship has more to do with the effort and attitude you put into the relationship than the person with whom you have the relationship. Don't let some imagined "perfect spouse" be an excuse to demand unrealistic behavior from your spouse or be an excuse to search for "something more."
- Don't cohabitate. Life is too short to wake up every day next to someone with whom you're not sure you want to spend your life. If they're right for you now, they'll be right for your future; if they won't be right for your future, they're not right for you now.
- Sex is important, but don't shortchange simple skin-to-skin contact. Snuggling is one of married life's simplest pleasures.
- Being married may make you one flesh, but you are still two persons. It's okay to have different friends, different hobbies, different interests, and different beliefs. Give each other room to be yourselves.
- Don't insincerely apologize for the sake of ending an argument, but do apologize when you have wronged each other.
- Laughing at each other's foibles is fine, but don't run each other down, whether in front of each other or in gripe sessions with friends. You are one flesh; when you insult your spouse, you are insulting yourself.
- Learn to apologize and forgive. When you join with your spouse to become one flesh, you leave yourself vulnerable. Sometimes, they will hurt you in those vulnerable areas. Sometimes, you will hurt them.
- Remember ... sometimes, the solder holding two pieces of metal together can be stronger than the metals themselves.
- Sometimes, it's okay to go to bed angry. Getting some sleep may solve the problem better than trying to argue it out while tired.
- No matter how old you are, you still have more growing to do. Grow together like branches twisted into a hedge.