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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Moving in with kids??? Need advice !!

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:15 AM
  • 19 Replies
I previously dated my current SO for 5 years we broke up for a couple of years and I got with someone else, we lived together had a kid got engaged the whole works, it ended up not working out and later me and my exbf started dating again. Things are going great and we've spoke about moving in together but I want to wait because of my kids. Moving in a huge step especially with kids in the mix. How do I know when it would be a good or appropriate time to all move in together? I don't want to do it to soon. I would never move my kids in with someone unless I knew it was headed towards marriage. And we have talked about marriage but we've been only dating for a couple months. My SO said its not that soon since we know each other. We went to acho together and dated previously but I don't know!
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BlessedAgain3
by Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:17 AM
School**
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Ninjascreenname
by Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:21 AM
I would wait until I was sure that it was headed towards marriage. A few months isn't enough time to work things out to me. Besides, you already dates this man and it didn't work out before, I'd give it a long whole to make sure it was this time. Just my very honest and well though out idea.
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Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:35 PM

 It is something you have to figure out for yourself. Since it is your life

ddhb2007
by Bronze Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:53 PM
After you get married. I wouldn't live with someone without being married if I had kids. I think it sends the wrong message to the children.
LaughingTattoo
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 1:00 PM

Once a rings on your finger. My best friend just recently moved back in with her father at 33 years old with a 13, 8, and 5 yo. She dated he boyfriend for a year and a half before she decided to make the move. But there was no "commitment"....now her kids are heart broken bc he decided after 6 months of living together he wasnt ready

JohnsonMM
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 1:21 PM
Just because you two have history doesn't mean the kids and him do. I think that moving in without having a commitment is probably not a good idea. I know this from experience. My SO and I moved in together right away with 3 kids (1 mine) and 3 years later we are still together and engaged but the problems that came up with the kids was very difficult. The "your not my parent" and "your not my sister/brother" was extremely hard. What were we? Not married so nothing step about it, but constant care giver/ disciplinarian. It was confusing until he asks me to marry him. I wouldn't move in with him until you two are 100% sure where the relationship is going. Hope this helps. Best of luck!
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emarin77
by Silver Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 1:31 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting ddhb2007:

After you get married. I wouldn't live with someone without being married if I had kids. I think it sends the wrong message to the children.


hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 1:33 PM
I'd wait until I WAS married as it's too easy to be kicked out when things go wrong.

Btw, why are you seeing him again in the first place? Typically exes should stay exes.. The issues are still there, usually.. Just sugar coated for awhile. Just make sure you haven't developed " damnesia" (as my mom calls it) of the issues you originally split the first time.
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BlessedAgain3
by Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 2:14 PM
We were younger when we were together .. And I just wanted to see what else was out there. We were together through high school and a couple years after. So there was no major problems why we broke up
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OHgirlinCA
by Silver Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 2:16 PM

 It's more than likely there's a reason it didn't work out in the first place.  I would wait until you are engaged before moving in with anybody.

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