Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

After 31 yrs of marriage talking about divorce!

Posted by   + Show Post
My parents got into a huge argument yesterday because my dad left my mom at the unemployment office because she was taking to long and he was ready to go home so he left. My mom had to call me to come get her 30 min away because she didn't have a ride. She gets home tells him she doesn't appreciate being stranded with no ride and she didn't deserve that.

Things got heated and my dad told my mom that either he was leaving or she had to and if he left he didn't plan on staying around here! My mom told him she didn't want either one to leave she wanted them to stay together and work things out but dad says that's not an option so my mom is staying with me and my dh.

They won't talk to each other and divorce has been thrown around! I don't want my parents to divorce! I don't know what I would do. I wish I could do something to help them. I'm trying to stay strong for my mom because she hasn't stopped crying since yesterday afternoon! I don't know what to say to make her feel better! I know she is so tore up inside! Needed to vent to someone don't want to make my mom feel worse than she already does! I just can't believe after 31 yrs something like this blew up so big :(
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Replies (21-30):
rstuart66
by Bronze Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like there has been a long running issue.  It probably does not help that you guys are under the same roof.  Too many people in the same house make every one go crazy.  

Your lucky they were together for as long as they were, as long as things are civil for any grandkids you can't really do much but be there for your mom.  

Shari55
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this

My parents divorced after 45 years of marriage....because they realized that they had nothing in common when they retired and lived on a boat for ten years.

I modeled my marriage after their marriage because as a child and adult I believed they had a good marriage. One never knows really what goes on when we leave home to be with our husbands, partners, etc. 

On a high note, my parents are still friends

 

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:42 AM

My parents are both 7 states away. It doesn't effect me. It's not like my kid can have a real relationship with either of my parents. It doesn't really bother me other than my Mom went crazy for a couple of years during and after the divorce. Like, I probably should have committed her crazy. That kind of sucked. In the long run though, I'm an adult and have my own family, as does my sister. It's not that big of a deal.

Quoting oneluckymom23:

HA!

My parents divorced 2 yrs ago after 33 yrs. my life hasn't been the same. They're both selfish as can be and have made my life hell. My kids suffer cause they don't have a relationship with either of them really. It just sucks.


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

You have to remember that you are a grown up now with your own family. Whether they divorce or not isn't going to have that much of immediate, life-altering impact on you, other than the fact that your Mom is staying with you.

It's not the end of the world. 


Pnukey
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:47 AM

My parents separated at 29 years and were divorced shortly after their 30th anniversary. It was an awkward time. It's been 10 years and dad is still bitter, but mom is very happy. We can't do much for our parents but be there for them when they need us to be.

ChinaDragonDoll
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:48 AM
5 moms liked this

Your father didn't deserve to be told by your mom that she didn't appreciate being stranded by him?

WTF !!!! You have no right to tell or think your Mom has no reason to be upset about being stranded by your father. He LEFT HER there. No loving husband would do that to his wife.

Pooobaihr
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:51 AM

These are your parents. The only ones that really know how stable their relationship really is, is them.  There may be loads more to the story that you don't know.  In the long run, it may be better for your mother to be without him.  Sure she may not like the idea now, she was married to him for so long, but that also deals with being comfortable with how things are too.  Not saying she doesn't really love him, but if she was used to him being an ass for so many years, of course she wouldn't want to leave him.  All I can say is, just be there to listen to her.  If your dad really wants the divorce, there is nothing stopping him from doing it.  GL

mama2sqgl
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:53 AM
My dfs parents are going threw the same thing
After 35 years he got his inheritance from his father bought himself a very nice corvette and now wants a divorce. I'm sorry. it sucks but all you can do is be supportive.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ChinaDragonDoll
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:53 AM

If they get divorsed, it's about more than just being stranded and there is nothing you can do to "fix" it.

Whatever has been going on has been going on for a long time and your father no longer wants to be curteous to your mom and she is fed up with it. The reasons behind that are none of your business. Yet, when a couple starts doing things like this: there are deep seated resentment by both the husband and wife.

You just need to realize you can't stop what is happening and just love them both. They will do what they need to do to survive and if that is divorse, then it's divorse.

Thomasmom07
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:58 AM
I never said she didn't have the right to be pissed! I would be pissed too. I was just telling what happened and I can't believe my DAD is being an ass and is overreacting like he is. And that is the 1st time is 31 yrs of marriage my mom has stood up or herself and I'm proud of her for it!


Quoting ChinaDragonDoll:

Your father didn't deserve to be told by your mom that she didn't appreciate being stranded by him?

WTF !!!! You have no right to tell or think your Mom has no reason to be upset about being stranded by your father. He LEFT HER there. No loving husband would do that to his wife.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ChinaDragonDoll
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:09 PM

Yes, you did:


My parents got into a huge argument yesterday because my dad left my mom at the unemployment office because she was taking to long and he was ready to go home so he left. My mom had to call me to come get her 30 min away because she didn't have a ride. She gets home tells him she doesn't appreciate being stranded with no ride and he didn't deserve that.

May it was a typo and you meant to type and she didn't deserve that.

Quoting Thomasmom07:

I never said she didn't have the right to be pissed! I would be pissed too. I was just telling what happened and I can't believe my DAD is being an ass and is overreacting like he is. And that is the 1st time is 31 yrs of marriage my mom has stood up or herself and I'm proud of her for it!


Quoting ChinaDragonDoll:

Your father didn't deserve to be told by your mom that she didn't appreciate being stranded by him?

WTF !!!! You have no right to tell or think your Mom has no reason to be upset about being stranded by your father. He LEFT HER there. No loving husband would do that to his wife.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN