What do you want to work on in your relationship in 2013?
A Better Marriage in 2013 IS Possible
As much as I want to roll my eyes at people making New Year's resolutions, I'd have to roll them right back at myself because every year, with a bit of reluctance, I make them.
Maybe it's because at my core, I'm a list writer, and the crossing-off of each item gives me some sort of high. Or perhaps it's just because I like the idea of going into a new year with a set of aspirations.
But this year, instead of writing lofty goals like "work on my marriage" (because you know that's on my list), I'm breaking my resolutions down into smaller, more achievable objectives. And if you're like me and want to make changes to your own relationship in 2013, maybe you'll join me in working on crossing these off over the coming year.
1. Schedule at least one date night a month
This resolution will be much harder than it sounds because my husband's travel schedule makes it difficult to schedule anything; however, we need more time alone outside of the house. My plan is to book our sitter the second I get his schedule every month and then worry about what to do for date night later.
2. Return to therapy on a regular basis
Indeed, another casualty of our schedules and the therapist we chose (she only works on Mondays and Tuesdays) has meant that we haven't been to a marriage therapy session in awhile. That being said, even if it's just once a month, I want to be sure we've got a counseling session on the books because even the few that we attended really helped us.
3. Continue to communicate more effectively
I feel confident that my communication skills have gotten much better over the last few months, and I've definitely reaped the benefits of being more open and honest in a way that's constructive and not destructive. Hopefully, my husband will take the cue from me as well. Quite frankly, he needs a lot of work in this area and I can only do so much.
4. Take time for myself
To be a better partner, I need to have time to myself. I'm only sorry that it took me so long to listen to friends and family, heck even myself. I must have time alone! Whether it's a couple of hours getting a pedicure, or sitting quietly at a coffee shop just reading and not looking at a computer screen, then so be it.
5. Let things go, when appropriate
I'm a terrible score-keeper, partially because I have a good memory and, I'll be honest, partially because my husband doesn't apologize for things and repeats certain negative behaviors over and over. And so what happens is that the grievances pile up until they all come shooting out of me. I'm learning to address things when they happen, and not let them fester. And also discerning what's really worth getting upset about and what I should just let go.
What do you want to work on in your relationship in 2013?
We need to come to an understanding on several large issues. We have the same arguements over, and over, and over, and over again and have for 11 years. It needs to cease.
Me And my DH needs to work on having time for our selves and try and talk about things we need to talk about with out others around
I want to plan more date nights. I think my kid's are old enough to get breaks from mommy and daddy now : )
The absolutely only thing we could think of is this year is the year we want to start taking ACTION on beginning to do and be able to cross off things on each of our bucket lists, which includes travel in it too. OUr first trip will be in April. : ) The one I really cant wait for and him either as its number 1 on both our lists is to swim with the dolphins, dont think we can pull that one off this year but still as soon as we possibly can.
YVONNE
not sure why it is bothering me but
CafeMom's "Unofficial Start of Summer" Party has begun!  Celebrate with us by joining in our fun ga
- Cafe Steph
on Jan. 5, 2013 at 10:59 AM