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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

One moment happy as ever, and the next your heart is crushed.

It takes less than a minute for all of your happiness to come tumbling down. Trying to be strong and hide my tears. How can I still love someone who has just betrayed me?
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by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 2:09 PM
Replies (31-40):
briebaby123
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:57 AM
1 mom liked this

Honey, I know it's hard, and you keep telling yourself you love him, but why stay!?!?
You don't need OR deserve that, your unborn child doesn't need or deserve that!!
Think about the two of you, and forget that man!! You will find someone who is deserving of the both of you, and he will love you to no end!! Cheating over and over again is not the way to go, and pulling your child through that is not fair to either of you :/  

frzmamaof4
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:59 AM
I'm soo sorry that your going through this! But if he's cheated so much, why even stay? It seems like it's never ending and you might need to just move on. Good luck mama *hugs*
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earthangel1967
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Happy Sept! I changed my siggy & profile for Sept. This month I'll be spending time in Love & Marriage & Frugalistas & Everyday Family Ideas groups. See you there! :D
Today at 1:35 AM
by YVONNE on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:22 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting MomToovey:

 While I agree with all the other moms who are just telling you to leave and that they'd never stay that long after multiple affairs, this is really what I believe you need to be doing. Focus less on what he did and more on what needs to be done. Really search your soul and figure out why you've stayed with him so long after all this betrayal, ask yourself why he deserves to have a wonderful woman fawn over him day in and day out when he clearly doesn't feel the same way.

Quoting earthangel1967:

 I am so sorry big hugs

It sounds like a good question to ask yourself would be does he DESERVE for you to keep loving you if he has betrayed you. You deserve in a relationship whatever you bring to it, so for example if you are 100% loyal and faithful and trustworthy you are settling for less than what you deserve if you accept anything less. Just my humble yet strong opinion.

I honestly hope things work out in whatever is your best interest, whatever that may be. Sending you healing energy to your wounded heart too

 

 Of course this sentence is suppossed to say: does he DESERVE for you to keep loving HIM if he has betrayed you

Stupid typo. I hope the point still came across correctly.

Also it can be a difficult truth to face, but another thing is that people can only CONTINUE to treat us as badly as WE ALLOW THEM TO by what we put up with and accept.  Just our saying we dont like it and want them to stop is not enough, sometimes we can truly love another person but if they dont have our best interests at heart or are unhealthy for us, they are toxic to us and we are better off removing them as much as possible from our lives. Life is too short and too priceless to be living it full of sadness and toxicity that we have power to stop.

View Full Size ImageYVONNE

Monsita
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:40 AM


Quoting sunflowergl:

It's hard, trust is very easily broken when cheating is involved. I was with a guy that cheated on me a few times but the one time with this certain chick came big drama. She lied to him and said she was pregnant and much more. I was crushed. We sat down and had talked about it all and tried to work it out. We lasted only a year longer. It's hard. I don't know your whole situation but you have to do what's best for you and the baby. Good luck!
If ya need to talk feel free to message me.


im sorryI KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE IN YOUR PLACE TOO....a year is a good time to see if there will be trust again...

It is hard to trust again....I am taking baby steps!!!

mommysmalling
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 9:50 AM
2 moms liked this

My husband hasn't cheated on me (that I know of) but he has let me down several times. After we found out about the baby he began smoking pot and I asked him numerous times not to do it. He promised he wouldn't. Well I caught him a few more times during the pregnancy and threatened to leave him over and over again. Finally our daughter was born in September of last year and I thought this would help change him. I caught him once more and the war was on. I went to his "source" and told him to never ever give it to my husband again. The source took my side and apologized over and over again and hasn't been to our home but one time since then. Now, I know that there is other ways of getting it but I truly believe he is clean right now. Part of being married means trusting the other. I love him so much and don't want to leave but he knows that I will put my daughter first so if that means leaving, I'll do it. Love is a funny thing. I know that my situation isn't exactly the same and I probably would have left after the first time he cheated but I can't say for sure. But you have to put you and your child first. No matter what. If he's being selfish enough to satisfy his needs elsewhere, then you 100% have the right to be selfish and put your family first. If this is a continuing pattern for him, the chances of him stopping are slim to none. YOU have to decide if that's how you want to live. YOU have to decide if you want to be miserable or happy. What if he were to get someone else pregnant? How would that whole situation go? Idk if you're a believer of God, but if you are just pray to him ask for help. He'll tell you what to do. Good luck sweetie!

Monsita
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:53 AM


Quoting rockinmomto2:

My husband cheated once last year. It was incredibly difficult to get through, and I'm still not past it. He knows that if it happens again, I'm done. I can't go through that more than once. 

If he's just your boyfriend (which is what I'm assuming), and he's cheated innumerable times, why stay? You're worth more than that.

bow downI am so glad to know that there is hope....thanks for the example!

Cheating more than once, will destroy your family ....

Dontchawishuknu
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:57 AM

LIKING or NOT LIKING something someone says or does is different than loving them.  The two are not mutually exclusive of one another.  I tell my DH all the time (and even moreso now that we are separated) that I don't have to like what he says or does to LOVE HIM.

Sorry you're hurting, Momma.

mybabiesmom1
by Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm still not past the issue of my dh having a son with someone else and it has been 4 yrs.

thinkpinkBrandy
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this
After all the times he has cheated he has never apologized. This time was different which makes it that much harder. Ever since he has been affectionate, which he usually never is, and constantly saying I love you. I was going to walk out and he begged me not to go. Im so torn right now... My head and heart are pulling me in different directions.
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Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jan. 9, 2013 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this
((Hugs))
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