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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My question is how did you know your husband, SO etc. was the right one. I am in a 3 year relationship with a guy that I don't actually feel is the "right one". So how did you know when you met the right one. I asked several other people who did not completely answer the question because I am still searching for the right answer. I want details please I am tried of hearing about a unexplained feeling please try your best to explain. My SO proposed to me a day before Christmas and I said no because I have not felt an unexplained feeling of love. He is a very decent guy. I do not want to miss out because I am looking for some signs that are imaginary. I trust you ladies to help me out on this.


Thanks!

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 8:29 PM
Replies (41-50):
Sun_Shine_990
by Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 2:32 PM
believe it or not I to believe that it is an unspoken unexpianed feeling. Me and my dh met online and emailed and txt and talked on the phone for about a month before met in person and started going out, dating whatever it is that you call it nowa days. And I new from the start of us talking that there was something I like about him. And even more so when we met in person. I still remember looking into his eyes that frist time and just seeing something that really clicked and made me go kind of weak at the knees. And a few days later we started dating. Soon after we discovered we had a lot in common. And a couple yrs later we got married. I believe it really is something unspoken and uncommon... I believe that if you or anyone don't see or feel that then they shouldn't get married. But to each their own... Good luck...
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CrazyLife1996
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 3:17 PM

I just knew when I looked at him. When I dreamed at night he was there. When he wasn't with me I missed my missing piece.

momtomy7kids
by Michelle on Jan. 11, 2013 at 4:59 AM

It wasn't far into our relationship at all that I knew he was the one for me. He treated me and still treats me how a woman should be treated and has always put me first, that's how I knew that he was the one for me. Plus he's 17 years older than me so I figured out then that older men are more experienced and I liked the fact that he was older. I had been with guys around my age but never really wanted to be with them.

Michelle
Mom to 4 boys and 3 girls with #8 on the way
Emily, Jordan, Sara, Jason, Aiden, Chloe, Nick and EDD 7-29-13

gurlygurl0724
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:20 PM

Thank You so much ladies. I have a better understanding of what it is suppose to feel like after meeting the right one. I obviously have not found it yet. We have talked things over and decided to follow different paths. Wish me luck! 

Thanks Again

toybar02
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:26 PM
when i had to leave him to go to work and was doing the ugly cry all the way to work, thats how i knew because im not a crier, i didnt even cry when i gave birth so thats big for me, all i want is him, he makes me feel like a queen, my world wouldnt be the same without him
wintermermaid
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:29 PM
It really is all about some divine level of knowing.
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1squishysmom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:46 PM

 Ummm. wow. hard to say. I have been married to "the one" over 21 years. I could never imagine EVER being with anyone else. We just clicked. We both knew it was meant to be, getting engaged 5 months after we met, then marrying 6 months later.

 We weren't nervous, scared, leery, or unsure at all. It was just right.

 I never felt as comfortable with anyone else, in love with anyone else, cared for as much as anyone else, nor could I ever be "just the way I am" as much as I can when I am with him.

 We never wanted to change each other, we had the same family values, and we had the same views on every level. Truly soul-mates.

 A lot of people don't believe in soul-mates. That's because they didn't find theirs. Believe me, they are real.

 We still finish each other's sentences, look lovingly into each other's eyes, go to bed together (at the same time), take care of each other, respect each other and think of the other before our selves. In 22 years, we have not even raised our voiced towards each other. We have complete respect for each others feelings and needs.

 You may be very happy with anyone you marry and really make it work, but that ONE special person is out there. Just depends how long you want to wait to find him. We met when we were both 27. I had never been married. He was married before (disastrous) for 4 years.

Misash103
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:51 PM
I'm one of those people that just knew! I'm sorry I can't help you more; it's unexplainable. I was just totally drawn to him. I felt it deep within. It was immediate when I first saw him. We've been married now almost a year :) It sounds like you're wanting your SO to be your soul mate because he's a decent guy. But it doesn't sound like he's your soul mate.
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gurlygurl0724
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:49 PM

No, I have expressed to him several times I did not feel the same unexplained feeling that everyone talks about. I found it ironic that he feels that way towards me, but I don't have it for or with him. I wanted to get a better understanding about the feeling so I could make sure I was not stuck in fairy tale or dream land about the whole "the one" or "unexplained feeling" because,I realize at times I can be quite wrong with my preception of how things should go, or be. I get a quick reality check then...

kaitybird
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:49 PM

If you do not feel he is the right one then it is time to leave.  I knew within a few months, but I never pushed him.  

You need to do some soul searching as if you don't feel he is the right one you should let him know.  3 years is a long time to invest in a relationship.  

You won't really get a concrete answer!  You will know when that person is the right one because deep down you will not be able to shake the feeling.  You also CAN'T look for it.  It just happens.  I quit looking and was no longer interested in finding Mr. Right and that is when he popped in to my life.  That was almost 20 years ago!  

Good luck to you.

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