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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My question is how did you know your husband, SO etc. was the right one. I am in a 3 year relationship with a guy that I don't actually feel is the "right one". So how did you know when you met the right one. I asked several other people who did not completely answer the question because I am still searching for the right answer. I want details please I am tried of hearing about a unexplained feeling please try your best to explain. My SO proposed to me a day before Christmas and I said no because I have not felt an unexplained feeling of love. He is a very decent guy. I do not want to miss out because I am looking for some signs that are imaginary. I trust you ladies to help me out on this.


Thanks!

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 8:29 PM
Replies (61-70):
mommybellygirl
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this

i just knew right away. i was with someone before him for years and never felt "it". i never wanted kids. then i met him and wanted his babies. plus best sex ever. it was like a bad romantic comedy. :P

as annoying as it is there really is no way of explaining it.

i didnt marry my ex because the feeling wasnt there. being just a decent guy isnt enough. i didnt want to marry someone because they are a good person and you love them and then fall madly in love with someone else. and no i am glad i waited because only a few months after i left him i met my husband.

GodsDaughter86
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:45 PM
1 mom liked this
You answered your own question within your question if you had the ability to tell someone you've been with for 3 yeArs that gets down on one knee purposes and he took the time out to go shopping for that prefect ring for you! You aren't in love with him as much as you think. I believe it is time to step back pray and ask where it is you see yourself in the next year in life if it isn't with your SO right now then you have to let this relationship go and move on. You don't need to go searching for LOVE it will find its way to you! Be pAtient and when love finds you and that special person walks into your life that unexplained feeling that everyone is talking about you'll then understand.
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Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:49 PM
By the time I met my husband I had already turned down other marriage proposals. With him, there was just a sense that I could see spending the rest of my life with him. I could see him as a dad to kids (that I didn't know I wanted).
klbetts
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:41 PM
Can you live without him? Yes. Do you want to ? No. Is he your other half? Do you feel like a part of you is missing when he is gone? That is how I knew my hubby was the one!
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mrsfitz05
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:39 PM
For me, I just knew but we were young. I think mushy romantic sparks flying feelings are great, but I don't think they are the only thing.

I think, especially as we get older and settled sometimes big dramatic feelings can take a back seat. Being your best friend, being a good partner, being a good father figure these are the things that matter long term. If noting changed about him or your feelings, 10 years from now do you think you'd be happy?
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SlightlyPerfect
by Slightly Perfect on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:59 PM

What do you mean unexplained feeling of love?????

Are you expecting love to be a mystery to you, something you can't or won't understand? If so, why would you want that? Do you want to not understand the source of your emotions? That seems strange to me.

I knew because DH intellectually stimulated me like no other. We shared core values. So I proposed.

slightlyperfect

Blackroses137
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:17 PM
1 mom liked this
I can definetly relate to this. I've never been with anyone other than my bf, but we've had an off and on again relationship too. We've been together for 3 1/2 years. I feel like my heart belongs to him. It always has and always will. We were young when we first started dating and when we had our daughter. We were only 17 when we had her. I hate that we broke up so many times in our relationship, but I'm learning to accept it. Those break ups have made us a stronger couple. I could never imagine myself without him. He means the world to me. I would try to move on (that's what people told me to do) but I never could. I am always going to be in love with my SO. I know this for a fact. I truly believe that we are meant to be together. We didn't handle things the right way all of the time, but everything happens for a reason. We are a lot stronger now. I'm more in love with him now then when we first started dating. We have grown up a lot as individuals and as a couple. I'm just so thankful that he's mine and I'm his :)


Quoting Ilaynasmommy:

I know dh is the only one for me. I thought I loved boyfriends before him but with him no one else mattered. Making him happy meant more to him than anything. We were on again off again for 5 yrs. When off it felt like apart of me was missing. During those times I would try to trick myself into moving on. He would drink and party but stayed away from me because he could handle being near me. But when we inevitably were in the same room I would shake until he hugged me. Then everything would be ok. Being in his arms is the most comforting thing in the world. We finish each others sentences and are comfortable just being. I love that I can move one way and he instinctively knows what I want. When broke up I could be ok because I just knew we would be back together again it really didn't matter when. I knew he was just scared because he was young and needed to grow up.

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supermomz25
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:17 PM

I knew the moment I met him.

JennPearce
by Jenn! on Jan. 15, 2013 at 6:41 AM
You feel safe & secure. You trust this person with all your heart & you don't have any doubts about them being the one. It's true. You will know. Maybe not right away but it doesn't take long. I just knew with dh. He was exactly what I wanted (not knowing what I needed until we met)
PerfectVirgo
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 6:45 AM
You'll know he's the one because you stop looking for a mate. That's what happened to me. Even in my last marriage. I would still think about what it would be like to be with so and so. Not anymore. ;)
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