I heard a good radio talk show recently about long-lasting marriages and part of it was to be friends with your husband. Well we were at first, but I have realized that we aren't really friends now. We are primarily co-parents; we have our own groups/friends and a lot of times we take "turns" having the kids. I stay home with them (8, 5, 3, all boys) and we also made the decision to homeschool a couple years ago.
I read all sorts of stuff about maintaining and updating your marriage but it just seems so unrealistic (monthly dates, weekends away, etc;). At the end of our day, when our kids are in bed, i mostly just want to sit and veg - either on the computer or watching TV; DH has found hobbies that are mostly solo, his current hobby is making paracord survival stuff ("knotting"); he is involved with r/c rock crawling and has a hobby project going on in the garage. I tried about a year ago to get us "back together" by getting a puzzle for us to do together but after a couple nights it just dwindled. I am really busy most of the time trying to focus on the homeschool stuff, organizing the house/chores/meals/etc; I want to have a better marriage and be friends with my hubby again but I don't seem to know where to start over. We hardly even rent movies to watch together (tonight we did, The Watch and it was so dumb and I wish I would've picked The Looper instead). Add to this he never seems happy and it weighs on me so heavy. He is pretty much just a pessimist and so different from the man I fell in love with. I know I am not the same woman either, older, not as shallow, etc; anyway, if you are friends with your DH or SO, how d o you maintain it? What special things do you do to keep it up?