Please don't bash me. My intentions where good to begin with.. now i'm rethinking everything.
Here is a time line tht might help you understand more. .
- September 2011 - My husband and I married. Two weeks after he left me for another woman. we ended up sleeping together while he was with her. we both got pregnant at the same time.
- December 2011 - I had a miscarriage and we ended up trying to work things out.
- April 2012 - We where still hving alot of issues with him getting her pregnant. I ended up leaving him for two nights to hang out with my guy friend. I know it sounds bad but we where strictly friends until he raped me that night. I came back to my husband and didn't tell him. I tried acting normal and ended up sleeping with him two days after i was raped. I didn't tell anybody what had happend to me.
- May 2012 - My husband and I's first daughter turned two. That day of her party I took a pregnancy test which came up positive. I went to my midwife and she confirmed that i was indeed pregnant. I was raped on the 20th of April, had slept with my husband the 24th. My midwife said her estimate was that I conceived around the 24th give or take a couple days. I told my husband I was pregnant but didn't say anything about being raped or maybe that it was not his baby.
- August 2012 - His daughter from another woman was born and we soon found out we where having another girl.
- January 2013 - My due date is today. My husband still does not know about the rape and still does not know our daughter may not be his and neither does anybody else.
I chose to not tell my husband because i was afraid he would make me give the baby up. I love my baby so much nd it would kill me. Through random conversation he has told me he wouldn't leave me if I was carrying somebbody elses child. Yes i beleive him but my guilt is getting the best of me.. I so badly want to tell him but I'm so scared.. and wht if he tells somebody else it was by rape? or wht if he doesn't beleive me that it was rape because we where hving problems? I'm so scared and I don't know wht to do. Please don't bash me.. Just please give me advice..
I don't think it matters how old I am. Why i went back to him after he slept with some one else or why i still slept with him while he was with her. It happend. I can't change it now. All i wnt to know is what I can do now. Its too late to press charges as this happend in april and there would be no proof.
When I went to go hang out with this guy it was strictly as friends. We had been friends for a while so why would i think he would do that to me? If you don't beleive me then fine. I dont' expect everybody to. But it happend and all i'm asking for is help.