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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Broken Marriage. Need advice.

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:18 PM
  • 18 Replies
Since DS was born, DH and I don't get intimate very often. It's once a week or not at all. When DS is sleeping, DH wants to sleep, clean house or just lay on the couch and text people. Even if I tell him I want some, he has no interest.
It's now gotten to the point where I don't feel like he loves me anymore. He doesn't touch me at all. Barely kisses me.
Today he told me we need to fix our issues before its too late. He doesn't want to raise our son into a broken marriage.

When he says broken marriage I took it as he doesn't love me anymore.

Has anyone been in a situation like this? I'm at a loss. :/
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by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
UmNati
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:25 PM
2 moms liked this
Having a new baby can change a marriage and libido! Having a new life to take care of is not always peachy! Try to have some time for the hubby too! Suggest a date night or a hotel to get away to (with out kids) and try to rekindle the romance. It is not uncommon to have this problem after a new baby! Keep the communication open at all times and try finding a solution to the problem before it ends up ruining ur marriage! Good luck
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BKozICan
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:33 PM

Eight and a half years ago. Sounds like almost the exact same scenario. We did six months in marriage counseling. Better than ever.

AlannaMaria
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 8:11 PM
That doesn't mean he doesn't love you.. He told you he wants to fix things do that to me, he loves you and wants to get things back to normal. I would sit down and with each other and lay everything out in the open and tell him how you feel with out attacking him. I think your situation is very fixable and obviously what ever issues you are having is affecting your love life. Good luck! cOMMUNICATE with eachother!!!
Krysden
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:15 PM

Sounds like y'all need to have a serious heart to heart.   I don't think it sounds like he doesn't love you, just that he recognizes that things are different and he wants them to be really good again.   Maybe the two of you can write down the things that you would like to see change in your marriage and go from there.   Find out what issues he see's that need working on.   You can't fix things if neither of you know which page the other is on and WHY.   The why is really important.   Good Luck

MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:22 AM

in it now.  mine has a low libido and for me the resentment has just built up, it doesnt even bother me anymore.  Yep becoming parents can actually separate you more than it can bring you closer.

cali_angel_girl
by Amy :) on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:58 AM

I agree with this.  And if you two just trying to work things out on your own isn't helping then maybe look into some marriage counseling. Good luck hun!

Quoting AlannaMaria:

That doesn't mean he doesn't love you.. He told you he wants to fix things do that to me, he loves you and wants to get things back to normal. I would sit down and with each other and lay everything out in the open and tell him how you feel with out attacking him. I think your situation is very fixable and obviously what ever issues you are having is affecting your love life. Good luck! cOMMUNICATE with eachother!!!


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mamanay041010
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 4:23 AM

The fact that he told you there is an issue shows that he wants to fix things, be open to this and the ideas he offers as well as offer your own, people assume seeking counsel means things are bad but it doesn't hurt to seek help before things get worse, it's like preventive care, yes there are some people who only go to the Dr. When they are sick and we all know sometimes that's when it's too late but those who get regular check ups can sometimes catch an issue before its something to worry about. He loves you and cares because he was honest and he is aware that you guys need fixing. I wish you both lots of luck and I hope things work out for the best

98765
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:48 AM

Having a baby is a HUGE adjustment and it takes time. We fought so much for the first year of our ODD's life it was crazy. Just keep talking, make time for each other, and give it time. It DOES get better if you hang in there! By the time we had our 2nd baby, 2.5yrs ago, we looked back and thought, what the heck were we fighting about?! 

Good luck!

furbabymum
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:18 AM

 Well he wants to fix it. That's awesome. Go get some counseling. Also insist he go in for a physical and have his testosterone tested. Babies are hard. I don't know how old yours is but it tends to get better when they get older and you get moer sleep.

liz.1986
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:29 AM
The fact that he told you he wants to fix it shows he loves and cares for you. Becoming parents definitely can put a strain on marriage. If you have the insurance or can afford it, get some counseling. If you have someone you trust to watch your DS, go on a date once a month; even if you can't afford to go out you can spend some alone time at home. Do a 3-minute hug once a day to get some of the affection back. Set a designated time to turn off the electronics so you can focus on yourselves. I used to have a problem with Dh being on his phone ALL evening, so once the kids are in bed we put our cells up. Good luck!
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