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Do Age Differences Matter in a Marriage?

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Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:29 PM
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Do Age Differences Matter in a Marriage?

Posted by Aunt Becky on January 15, 2013 

Demi Moore made it okay for younger men to date older women, much to the cheers of women worldwide. It was through her marriage to Ashton Kutcher that the world first heard the term "cougar" (which, whether you like it or not, is here to stay).

People like Anna Nicole Smith made marrying a much older man part of mainstream pop culture when she and J. Howard Marshall, who was 62 years older, walked down the aisle. Not, perhaps in the most flattering of ways, but nonetheless, you can't think about age differences in marriage without thinking of those two.

But does an age gap really matter in marriage? How much of a gap is too much?

I'm of the opinion that an age gap can be a bonus for many types of relationships - if there's common ground. Two people the very same age can be as different as night and day just as easily as two people 20 years apart can be.

I don't know that society is ready to see a significant age gap in a marriage as normal. But having two different generations as a united front can be an amazing combination.

Why?

Well, there's always more to learn from someone who didn't grow up with The Internet jammed down his throat or the Beach Boys played on every radio station. Learning from each other is the hallmark of a good relationship, because there's ALWAYS something new to learn in this crazy, mixed-up world.

I don't doubt that there are drawbacks to dating and marrying someone who is quite a bit older or younger. It can be hard to understand each other sometimes. It can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings. You sometimes find yourselves in different places.

Then again, the same can be said for marrying someone closer in age.

I'm all for whatever works, and I'm very interested to hear stories about what an age gap in marriage is really like. I'd certainly never take a big age difference as a dating no-no.

What do you think about dating and marrying someone older or younger than you?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
maria1613
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:31 PM
I'm ok with it. I know many couples that have done great with larger age gaps. I'm 25 and my SO is 44 and we're doing great, we have problems just like any couple but we also work through them. It's not for everyone
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RobsPrincess24
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:33 PM

DH is 17 years older than I am, so I think it's perfectly fine if that is what works for two people. The only thing that has been a struggle in our relationship is his kids. We are a lot closer in age and I'm a CSM to my SD15. DH expects me to act as a parent to her, even though I'm only 9 years older than her. It was hard at first, but things are much better now.

Anryan
by Platinum Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:37 PM

i think it depends on the couple.  I am older then both of the men in my life....Older than David by 3 yrs and older than Irish by 14 yrs....It works well for us.

Anryan,

Wife to.....

  David    and   Irish

AleaKat
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:39 PM
Eh. Everybody is different.
Personally I don't like being with you get men and anything over 10 years is kinda just not my style. But love comes in all forms!
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earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:46 PM

 I think it depends on the couple and the individuals. Some 20 yr olds are more mature and responsible than some 40 yr olds and there are some 50+ yr olds who are more vivacious and playful and active than some 20 yr olds.

FOR MYSELF though I have never ever been interested in younger men,(they feel too much like my kids to me and I have no attraction to them even if they are cute not even a little bit) I have always liked my guys at the very least my own age and preferably older than me but no more than 10 yrs older.

View Full Size ImageYVONNE

susan92
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this

i think as long as the younger of the 2 is like 25 and up its all good but when the younger person is less than that they may not be muture enough for it

mommyinthe303
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this
My hubby is 12 years older than me. I love it.
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mom23heathens
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:58 PM

I am 14 years younger than my dh. I would never do it again. It didn't seem to matter at first. I was in my 20's when we met and he looked and acted much younger than his age back then. It has since caught up and he acts much older than he should now. I like to get out and go and he likes to lay down and sleep. I keep forgetting he's almos 60 now

Dimples303
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:04 PM

My husband is 10 years older than me. :) I don't see any difference as long as you marry for love.

LaughingTattoo
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:08 PM

Id say Im okay with it. Dh is 18 years older than me. He is 48, Im 30

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