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Do Age Differences Matter in a Marriage?

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Do Age Differences Matter in a Marriage?

Posted by Aunt Becky on January 15, 2013 

Demi Moore made it okay for younger men to date older women, much to the cheers of women worldwide. It was through her marriage to Ashton Kutcher that the world first heard the term "cougar" (which, whether you like it or not, is here to stay).

People like Anna Nicole Smith made marrying a much older man part of mainstream pop culture when she and J. Howard Marshall, who was 62 years older, walked down the aisle. Not, perhaps in the most flattering of ways, but nonetheless, you can't think about age differences in marriage without thinking of those two.

But does an age gap really matter in marriage? How much of a gap is too much?

I'm of the opinion that an age gap can be a bonus for many types of relationships - if there's common ground. Two people the very same age can be as different as night and day just as easily as two people 20 years apart can be.

I don't know that society is ready to see a significant age gap in a marriage as normal. But having two different generations as a united front can be an amazing combination.


Well, there's always more to learn from someone who didn't grow up with The Internet jammed down his throat or the Beach Boys played on every radio station. Learning from each other is the hallmark of a good relationship, because there's ALWAYS something new to learn in this crazy, mixed-up world.

I don't doubt that there are drawbacks to dating and marrying someone who is quite a bit older or younger. It can be hard to understand each other sometimes. It can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings. You sometimes find yourselves in different places.

Then again, the same can be said for marrying someone closer in age.

I'm all for whatever works, and I'm very interested to hear stories about what an age gap in marriage is really like. I'd certainly never take a big age difference as a dating no-no.

What do you think about dating and marrying someone older or younger than you?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:29 PM
Replies (21-28):
by Silver Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:36 AM

I think a big age difference is asking for trouble, but I guess you can't help who you love.

by Michelle on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:12 AM

My husband is 17 years older than I am and are fine with the difference.

Mom to 4 boys and 3 girls with #8 on the way
Emily, Jordan, Sara, Jason, Aiden, Chloe, Nick and EDD 7-29-13

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:41 AM

I think it can matter. it just depends on the 2 people in the relationship. it can work out GREAT for some people, no matter the age gap. 

I think women with older men is becoming more common because men tend to mature much slower.. it makes sense for them to be with men a little older than themselves.

by Silver Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:10 AM

 Dh is 11 years older than me. I was 20 and he was 31 when we got married. Have been married for 8 years and we have never been stronger.

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:12 AM
Cougar is not a new term.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:13 AM

Love is love.  I don't think it matters if both people are adults

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:21 AM

meh... age is only a number, and I am blessed with a man who is just a few years older than I, but has  brought a wealth of experiences and intelligence into my life.  I can't see where the  number matters as much as the attitude.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:37 AM

As long as you are both of legal age... NO

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