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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My son was killed in a accident (Updated)

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In about 12 hours i will b getting on a plane to the states. I have to go say goodbye to my son for the last time. He only got to be here for 18 years. He turned 18 in Nov. Please pray everything goes well. I only have 5 days to get everything done plus try and deal with my family. I am posting this in just this group because its one of the 2 groups that r the most supportive. If i could link the story i wud. U can google Clayton Culverson. I miss him so much. When i go to get on the bus to head to Incheon i should b logging on to Skype to talk with my precious boy like we do every Thursday morning.

 

It's almost 2 am here in CA and again i can't sleep. In 8 hours i will be going to see my son for the very last time. I keep thinking this is just one of Clayton's jokes and he's going to be with the staff member when we meet up and he will run to me and wrap his arms around me. But my heart knows better. I know none of you knew him but he was a wonderful kid.Even with his disabilities he was such a beautiful child. He could walk into a room of depressed people and have them cheered up within mins.I don't know how i'm going to handle my THursday mornings.Every week since i've been in Korea we got to talk. Most of the time it was good and i would get to see the beautiful face and those beautiful blue eyes. I keep asking myself ,why now why in such a horrible way. Some of you may remember in my other posts me talking about the hell he's been through in life. He was born just a few days away from 30 weeks due to placenta abruption. He was dead when born. WHy couldn't God have taken him right then. Yes iw ould have been tore to piece but he wouldn't have had to face the last 18 years of physcial and mental pain. He was 18 but he had the mentality of about a 10 year old. I think that's one of the things that made him sooooo sweet. But ....... well for instance when he learned to tie his shoes he was six years old.One day he would know how to do it the next day he would tell he's never knew how and couldn't do it if his life depended on it. I hate that his last six year of life were spent in a group home. DOn't get me wrong the place he was inthe last for years is awesome.THe loved and cared for him like he was their own son. I wish i could say the name of the place and mention some of them because they were some of the greatest people to have ever worked with CLayton. That's saying alo with how many people have worked with him in 18 years. WOW i don't even think i can count or even remember them all. Yesterday would my daughter and him were finally supposed to start voice chatting on Skype. (SHe doesn't like SKype becuase she feels like she's being stared at)But she was finally ready and they were both excited. Now she's beating herself up because she would only say hi everyonce in awhile while she stood off to the side of my computer.Yesterday she said she doesn't understand why she can't cry as much as her dau and i are. I had to explain to her everyone grieves in their own way.I know she will find a way to deal with this but i wish i could just take her pain away for her.

If anyone would like to we have created a site for Clayton,still being built,so far there's only one pic of him there but your more than welcome to go check it out.The main reason i'm mentioning this is i know a lot of people that love him have been googling his name these last few days and i know this post is showing up in it.I'm hoping it willgive people an outlet to help them through their grieving process. Also because i would like to talk with the driver. I know he did not do this on prpose and i can only imagine his pain. I need him to know i DO NOT blame him in ANY way. No matter what God had planned on taking Clay at that time.But i'm so sorry to the driver that God used him in his plans. ANd i'm sure GOd wouldn't want him to blame himself either.

Clayton dude I love and miss you so much. I wish you could still be here with us.

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:56 PM
Replies (151-160):
MomRocs1102
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 6:13 PM

So sorry this has happened, your son was a strong person to survive what he has gone through.  He was here for a purpose.  I cant say I understand how it feel because i don't, but i pray God eases your pain and helps you heal. Hugs.

Poohy1975
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:08 AM

 The childs name was Michael.He was still very upset when i seen him day before yesterday at the site but he was doing better yesterday at the memorial.As far as the flowers you would like to leave,when you get to the site Clayton's memorial is up off the road more on the hill. A few of the kids from the home got togother and had it all put together before we even got there.They did an awesome job. It takes a little to get up the hill but the kids wanted to make sure no one would bother it.

Quoting walt54:

One other thing, I am not sure where the report of a "group of riders" came from.  Only the driver, your son and the young man I mentioned in my previous post were there when I pulled up. There is a gas station about a mile up the road so maybe they had gone to get help. I don't know. My prayers are with you and your family. I plan on laying flowers at the site on my return trip next week.

 

justpeachy71904
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:54 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine your pain right now. I hope you can find the strength to carry on through this. We are all here if you need to seek support
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KeiraRose
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh goodness I'm so so sorry for your loss. I'm crying right now for you and your family. If you believe in God then you know he's in a better place and will be watching over you and your family. I know that wont take the hurt away but I really hope it brings you some comfort. 

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walt54
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:56 PM

I will leave flowers at the sit for Clayton and for Michael.   God bless you and yours and may peace be upon you.

Poohy1975
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:37 PM

 Thank you so much for staying with my son. I guarntee you if Clayton was alive now he would give you a major bear hug (cause those were all he knew) and tell you thank you.

Quoting walt54:

I will leave flowers at the sit for Clayton and for Michael.   God bless you and yours and may peace be upon you.

 

LeilaBeansMom
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:37 PM
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. No mama ever wants to bury their child. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
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littlecheifsmom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:37 PM

my thoughts and prayers are with u and ur family.

mama2ameira
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:39 PM
That's close to my hometown , Corning. I'm sorry :(
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LilAsMom526
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:19 AM
I am so sorry for your lost. Praying for your family.
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