Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my husband is smothering me with all his "rules"

Posted by   + Show Post

first let me say that i truly love my husband and he is a wonderful father, but he has too many rules for me. I can have a part-time job, but not a career. I can have my own money, but not pay any bills even if he can't afford them. I am expected to let him be the caregiver of the house and not be able to buy my self shampoo or lady products. I have a bed time. Yes i know, that is probably the worst of all. If i'm not in bed when he's ready for bed, i've betrayed his trust. I can go to college part-time, but only as a hobby. I do not have a drivers license so the only time i can leave the house and actually go somewhere is if he is not too busy or tired to drive. He buys me chocolate sometimes, but if he buys anything else its usually only for him. Moves, video games, clothes, etc. I feel smothered. I love him, but i don't feel like he really loves me anymore. I feel like he's always trying to change me. I used to have a life, now i don't even have friends or family close by because we moved far away for him. Am I being paranoid or is he too controlling and i need to stand up for myself? How do i stand up for myself without bringing tension?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:42 PM
Replies (151-160):
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:30 PM

 He is controlling and is borderline abusive with this behavior. I don't think he'll change but you can give it a try. Otherwise leave!

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:41 PM

This would scare me....

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:01 PM

Youre in an abusive relationship.

pregnancy calendar

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:20 PM

Quoting TommyAbby:

WOW.. Is he controlling?!?! Seriously?? Does this sound in any way normal to you? A bedtime!! OMG, what are you 5?

Come on girl WAKE UP. That is abusive controlling. Not even slightly, completely abusive control. You need to tell him he needs to relax these "rule" or you are going to talk to a counselor and have him come along so you can find a happy medium. 

this.  You need to go to counseling.  I'm not one to just tell women to 'leave' but that mess would be unbearable for me.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:20 PM

Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Youre in an abusive relationship.


by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:57 PM
3 moms liked this

An update for everyone, i have in case of emergency set up a back up plan and spoke with an abuse advocate and got the number for a local shelter in case something goes bad. I have not officially made a decision because the advocate told me to think about it and my options. Please keep me in your prayers and i will keep everyone posted. Thanks so much for everyones advice. I will attempt to speak with me husband about his over obsessive control issues and if that doesn't work i'm out. Pray that all goes well.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Prayers r w/u

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:37 PM

thank you :)

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:58 PM

 I'm praying for you sweetie!! So glad to see you have a plan in place...Please update ASAP!!!

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:05 AM

Talked to my husband tonight and was able to compromise on some of the "rules" he had in place along with a few other issues. Hope it stays that way :)

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN