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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

my husband is smothering me with all his "rules"

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first let me say that i truly love my husband and he is a wonderful father, but he has too many rules for me. I can have a part-time job, but not a career. I can have my own money, but not pay any bills even if he can't afford them. I am expected to let him be the caregiver of the house and not be able to buy my self shampoo or lady products. I have a bed time. Yes i know, that is probably the worst of all. If i'm not in bed when he's ready for bed, i've betrayed his trust. I can go to college part-time, but only as a hobby. I do not have a drivers license so the only time i can leave the house and actually go somewhere is if he is not too busy or tired to drive. He buys me chocolate sometimes, but if he buys anything else its usually only for him. Moves, video games, clothes, etc. I feel smothered. I love him, but i don't feel like he really loves me anymore. I feel like he's always trying to change me. I used to have a life, now i don't even have friends or family close by because we moved far away for him. Am I being paranoid or is he too controlling and i need to stand up for myself? How do i stand up for myself without bringing tension?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:42 PM
Replies (151-160):
mrsjksimmons
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:30 PM

 He is controlling and is borderline abusive with this behavior. I don't think he'll change but you can give it a try. Otherwise leave!

Redwall
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:41 PM

This would scare me....

ABeautifulQadar
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:01 PM

Youre in an abusive relationship.

pregnancy calendar

tharealty2
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:20 PM


Quoting TommyAbby:

WOW.. Is he controlling?!?! Seriously?? Does this sound in any way normal to you? A bedtime!! OMG, what are you 5?

Come on girl WAKE UP. That is abusive controlling. Not even slightly, completely abusive control. You need to tell him he needs to relax these "rule" or you are going to talk to a counselor and have him come along so you can find a happy medium. 


this.  You need to go to counseling.  I'm not one to just tell women to 'leave' but that mess would be unbearable for me.

tharealty2
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:20 PM


Quoting ABeautifulQadar:

Youre in an abusive relationship.

this

HasNoIdea93
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:57 PM
3 moms liked this

An update for everyone, i have in case of emergency set up a back up plan and spoke with an abuse advocate and got the number for a local shelter in case something goes bad. I have not officially made a decision because the advocate told me to think about it and my options. Please keep me in your prayers and i will keep everyone posted. Thanks so much for everyones advice. I will attempt to speak with me husband about his over obsessive control issues and if that doesn't work i'm out. Pray that all goes well.

247beachbumz
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Prayers r w/u

HasNoIdea93
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:37 PM

thank you :)


ttc1rainbow
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:58 PM

 I'm praying for you sweetie!! So glad to see you have a plan in place...Please update ASAP!!!

HasNoIdea93
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 2:05 AM

Talked to my husband tonight and was able to compromise on some of the "rules" he had in place along with a few other issues. Hope it stays that way :)

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