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my husband is smothering me with all his "rules"

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first let me say that i truly love my husband and he is a wonderful father, but he has too many rules for me. I can have a part-time job, but not a career. I can have my own money, but not pay any bills even if he can't afford them. I am expected to let him be the caregiver of the house and not be able to buy my self shampoo or lady products. I have a bed time. Yes i know, that is probably the worst of all. If i'm not in bed when he's ready for bed, i've betrayed his trust. I can go to college part-time, but only as a hobby. I do not have a drivers license so the only time i can leave the house and actually go somewhere is if he is not too busy or tired to drive. He buys me chocolate sometimes, but if he buys anything else its usually only for him. Moves, video games, clothes, etc. I feel smothered. I love him, but i don't feel like he really loves me anymore. I feel like he's always trying to change me. I used to have a life, now i don't even have friends or family close by because we moved far away for him. Am I being paranoid or is he too controlling and i need to stand up for myself? How do i stand up for myself without bringing tension?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:42 PM
Replies (191-200):
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:46 AM
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by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 9:12 AM

wow that's super controlling...when you are married you are one...but still keep your identities...seems like he took over always communication is best, however if he's a controlling manipulative man he will just try to talk to you bout how his way is key or some BS like that.

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 9:19 AM

Aren't you the same person who posted about your mom telling you your man is too controlling....uh DUH!! Plus I thought he was your fiance?

Yeah he's crazy and men like that will never change...good luck with that problem..maybe listen to your mother next time?

Wife to an amazing, loving, and respectful man. Mommy to a handsome man who gets his kicks from making others smile, and a beautiful little girl with an old soul and nurturing spirit. Expecting in May.

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 9:21 AM

OK, I was just at your other post.  This is why your mom doesn't like him.  He doesn't love you.  You are his SLAVE!  In the other post, you mentioned he doesn't even have a job.  How can he be a good father if he is not married to you and treats you like crap.  What is he teaching his children?  GET OUT.

by Casey on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:41 AM

Bump once again for reference.

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:34 PM

Are you ok? You haven't posted in a few days and these controlling husband posts are kind of worrying me. 

by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 3:32 PM

I say you need to get out of that situation.. That's rediculous. Sorry, I don't ever like telling people to leave their SO.. But in this case I say run. Your your own person, stand up and LIVE! he's paranoid beyond reason, has he had a past of female cheaters? Cause he seems to be trying to prevent  you from having a chance on an affair. Idk. :P Anyways, that's my thoughts. GL!

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 3:33 PM

I would tell him to go fuck himself. You're a grown ass woman not a child. Tell him to back off. He's a controlling ass.

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 3:45 PM

You are in a highly abusive relationship.  You just need to go.  Now.

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 4:30 PM

I think, you guys need to sit down and hash this out.  Personally, it sounds like he has decided that you all will have a certain type of marriage, but he did not bother to ask you if you would feel comfortable with it! 

I don't know that you can start a conversation without it bringing tension, but you do need to sit down with him and discuss it. I think guidelines are fine, but he is not your father. 

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