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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

my husband is smothering me with all his "rules"

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first let me say that i truly love my husband and he is a wonderful father, but he has too many rules for me. I can have a part-time job, but not a career. I can have my own money, but not pay any bills even if he can't afford them. I am expected to let him be the caregiver of the house and not be able to buy my self shampoo or lady products. I have a bed time. Yes i know, that is probably the worst of all. If i'm not in bed when he's ready for bed, i've betrayed his trust. I can go to college part-time, but only as a hobby. I do not have a drivers license so the only time i can leave the house and actually go somewhere is if he is not too busy or tired to drive. He buys me chocolate sometimes, but if he buys anything else its usually only for him. Moves, video games, clothes, etc. I feel smothered. I love him, but i don't feel like he really loves me anymore. I feel like he's always trying to change me. I used to have a life, now i don't even have friends or family close by because we moved far away for him. Am I being paranoid or is he too controlling and i need to stand up for myself? How do i stand up for myself without bringing tension?

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:42 PM
Replies (21-30):
babyboy117
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:21 PM
1 mom liked this
You are not being smothered. You are being controlled. He wants you to be helpless and NEED him. These are red flags.
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Mashnut3161
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Chemical Castration that will fix his attitude.

supermomz25
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:22 PM

you need to demand that he treats you with the respect that you deserve. enough is enough. if he will start listening, then you guys need counseling, lots of counseling. if he is not willing to, then you need to leave. you deserve better than this.

StrawberryCool
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:22 PM
2 moms liked this
Leave.

Point blank
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LoveMyLos
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:23 PM
Time to put on your big girl panties and tell him to grow a pair or your gone. Way to teach your kids how relationship should be...not.
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RLT2
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:27 PM

Rules? From your husband? You are not a child. I don't care how concerned for your health he is, you don't tell another grown up when they have to go to bed. You need to get some counseling here, it sounds like he has you totally confused and controlled.

ohmandy
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:28 PM

i deleted my previous comment cause im not comfortable having someone elses story out on the internet, but seriously.  only 20? and you think its just a coincidence that now that you are isolated its gotten worse?

i hope you come to terms with this... whether it is fixable or not is one thing, but a list of demands like that makes me fear that its not.  good luck.

HasNoIdea93
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:30 PM

That is part of my concern. The kids, i love them and they have lost 2 mothers already. They are not my kids so if i left i would never see them again, we would all be devastated. I don't know what to do. This is why you shouldn't marry at 20.

HasNoIdea93
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:31 PM

show of hands, salvageable or not?

hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes, sweetie, the beginning of an abusive relationship is blossoming. Look up abusive cycle, it starts with isolation , moves to overbearing , and gets progressively worse
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