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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Nooners and hugging co-workers...

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I have co-workers that are always hugging.  3 female that hug everyone especially.  One is male and I have known his wife for 16 years and she is extreamly jealous.  One of these women do the full body hug to him and moans when he hugs her.  Then you see them all running to each other saying they need their "nooner".   Every morning, noon and before the end of the day.    My DH also works for the same company and says its so unprofessional.  I dont do the hugging thing.. I have no desire to even get involved but they act like I have a plaque because I dont.   But the hugging is attempted with almost every man coming through the doors now.    I just keep thinking if the wifes knew about it they would be upset.  I am not a jealous person but I wouldnt want my husband having "nooners" of any kind with co-workers.   I am serious when I say everyday , minimum of 3 times a day.. other days its calling for back rubs.    I am just a prude?  the only arms I want wrapped around me is my DH or kids.  

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:35 PM
Replies (31-40):
DieselsMom
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:30 AM

you work for a trucking company...it isn't like your employees are well educated on manners....If it bothers you so much, I'd look for a different type of company to work for!

tiredmama42
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:32 AM

 Its not the truck drivers.. they have more manners than the office employees.  I have the drivers sign a harrassment form when I hire them.  I have no authority over the office.


Quoting DieselsMom:

you work for a trucking company...it isn't like your employees are well educated on manners....If it bothers you so much, I'd look for a different type of company to work for!


 

my4kids274
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:33 AM

I have to agree with you!

Aamy
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:35 AM
What is a nooner??? They go and have sex???
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tiredmama42
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:37 AM

 Lol Nooner term definition means having a quickie at noon.   They are talking about lunch time nooner hugs. 


Quoting Aamy:

What is a nooner??? They go and have sex???


 

Aamy
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:40 AM
Ok, some ppl are huggers, the men and women haven't told these women to back off?? Report them to hr.

Quoting tiredmama42:

 Lol Nooner term definition means having a quickie at noon.   They are talking about lunch time nooner hugs. 




Quoting Aamy:

What is a nooner??? They go and have sex???



 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jmjdj
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Is this a mom and pop owned trucking company or part of a bigger company?  Either way, by not stopping their office employees' behavior they are leaving themselves wide open for a huge lawsuit.  (I'm not the suing kind btw...it's my job to make sure all our employees are trained so that we DON'T end up getting sued so that's why I'm so adamant about it.) 

I also am not thin skinned and most things I can just let go.  But when it's on and on or it goes from just a hug to saying inappropriate things it gets old.  If they are doing that to some people, they won't hesitate to do it to others.  Many people who encounter them for the first time might just think they are "that" type of person and let it go.  But eventually they are going to do it to the wrong person and it's not going to go well. 

Using the term "nooner" is way out of line because it is in fact a sexual innuendo.  Someone that didn't know that they were talking about hugs could easily misinterpret this and think the employees are all having sex with each other at lunch.  Regardless though, it is way out of line at WORK!! 

Just to give more info on sexual harassment, there are two types:  quid pro quo (an exchange of sexual favors for tangible job benefits - better hours, better pay, a promotion, etc.) and hostile work environment (created through regular or repeated actions that are sexual in nature).  This is very obviously HWE.  It needs to be reported. 

Oh, and federal law also protects those who report things like this from retaliation.  If you feel you are being retaliated against because you report something, you need to report that too. 

Surely your company has a main HR manager or someone else you can go to.  If it is the owners and they haven't been willing to do anything in the past, maybe you should try a different tactic to get them to listen.  Look up employment law, sexual harassment, retaliation, etc. and print out the laws (http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm, http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/retaliation.cfm, http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/practices/harassment.cfm - pay attention to the last paragraph regarding employer liability in this one).  After you look all of this up, print it out and become very familiar with it, go to them and try to explain that you are concerned that someone will bring a suit or go to the EEOC to file a claim because they have done nothing to stop it or prevent it in the future.  Maybe if they think it will him them in the pocketbook they will take you seriously. 

If there is no HR manager or anyone else you can go to, you can file a claim with the EEOC.  Use their website to learn as much as you can....it can be a great resource for any HR professional.

Sorry to go on and on....this is just such a serious issue that I can't seem to step out...it's the HR in me.  I would be happy to help in any way I can!

jmjdj
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:42 AM

Oh...and statistically, men are far less likely to report sexual harassment even if they don't like what is happening.  Some of those men might be afraid what would happen if their wives found out about what happens at work, but won't report it because they don't want to be made fun of, etc.

SassyLaLa85
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:09 AM

Very unprofessional....does the Boss or HR know about this. WOW....

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:16 AM

 Everyone is different

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