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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

(PIOG) Would you give Dh a curfew?

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This hasnt applied to us in a few years, but when were were younger and first starting out, hell yeah it did.

We met at 19 and were married at 19. There was still quite a bit of growing up and growing together that needed to be done.

OK so onto the curfew.

I have always had 100% trust in dh, he has never given me a reason not to (still hasnt 7 years later). So when he would go out with his "boys" a few nights a week I didnt care where he was or who he was with. I just had 1 rule. Be respectful of your wife and new mother and come home at a decent hour. No more partying all night and walking in the door at 9am the next day still drunk from the night before.

My curfew was 12 or 1am on a weekday and no later then 3am on a weekend. And dh - even though he messed up once or twice - for the most part respected this. After we grew up a little and grew together, the friends and "chilling" in the streets and getting drunk lost their appeal for him. Now 7 years later dh wouldnt dare come home after 10pm unless he was working a late job. Is just something that you dont do. He has a family and coming home late is just disrespectful. Plus we are married, we dont go out as single people any more. We never really did in the first place. He only started after we had the baby, I needed to be home. Now that the "baby" is 5, we are back to being partners in crime together, but not just us, as a family.

So one of my newly married girlfriends is having a similar problem with her new dh. They do not have kids yet, but they have been married for about a year. She said it was fine in the beginning but no matter how much she bitches he still wont come home at a decent hour. Mind you they are our age now - late 20's. I told her that I gave my dh a curfew when we first got married and had the baby. (Before our ds, Dh never went any where with out me, if he was out partying all night i was right along side him. We were partners in crime, until I had ds, then I was home and dh took a little time to get out of his chilling phase.) And it worked for us. She looked at me like I was nuts. And said she could never put rules on her husband like that.

I think 1am on a week day/3am on a weekend is reasonable and hardly asking too much of a husband. (yes yes, you shouldnt have to do this if they are your dh they should already know and respect, blah blah blah.. All men, especially when your married young need a bit of training. You grow together as a couple -  so all of "you" can shove it - "you" know who "you" are)

Have you ever? or Would you ever put a curfew on your dh if he was one to stay out late?

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:47 PM
Replies (21-30):
mamanay041010
by Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:13 PM
Once we got married our rule was come home.we are what some people consider young (22) so for us its a different world and its sort of expected that a 22 year old male spends his nights drinking and partying. . It has nothing to do with being controlling or trying to be his mother. His wife I and our children deserve respect. I stay home so I dont think it fair my husband to stay out unil 3am. And thats just me yds you can go out with friends but to be out that late isnt necessary to have a good time. Before we got married hubby would hang out with buddies and just crash anywhere but not anymore and its the only real rule I have he wouldnt want me out until 3 so its only fair. I do agree different strokes different folks but I don't see me saying oh he'll come in when he does im not his mom..
midjet117
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:13 PM
No. i don't really. go out. nither does my husband. And if either one of us did go out there would. be no curfew . we are both adults here
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MommaTasha1003
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:22 PM

DH doesnt go out or do anythung like that. IF he did I would ASK him to be home by a certain time.. Its not a rule... But if your not home at a decent hour dont be shocked if im mad at you for a few days & get an attitude the next time you wanna go out.

nicole2884
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Hell no im not his mom.
An most importantly he respects me enough not to stay out till all hrs or do shady thing

I feel if you need to put limits in your relationship then you have bigger fish to fry then when he comes home an you.obviously dont trust him
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98765
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:47 PM

Never. No need to. He is a grown man. Plus, as long as we have been together he has never been disrespectul enough to go out untl all hous of the night.  And when he does go out I always knew exactly where he was what he was doing and who he was with. And he ha never come home drunk. 

In fact, he is going out tonight. To the movies. With my sister. LOL! That's about the extnt of his social life these days! HAHA

opal10161973
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:51 PM

DF doesn't go out enough without me for that to be an issue.  Mind you, we are 39, not some youngins like you guys.  I know that sounds funny, but it won't in ten years- believe me.  LOL

98765
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:58 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm 37 and DH is about to be 36! :)


Quoting opal10161973:

DF doesn't go out enough without me for that to be an issue.  Mind you, we are 39, not some youngins like you guys.  I know that sounds funny, but it won't in ten years- believe me.  LOL



Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jan. 19, 2013 at 6:42 PM
Nope we are married not mother son father daughter! He wouldn't do to me! And vice versa!
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LaughingTattoo
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 6:44 PM

No, that just wouldnt work for us. We have RESPECT for one another. We wouldnt treat one another like children

RheaF
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 7:48 PM
No, we have always respected each other too much to stay put till all hours. We never go out alone a yeah, l.
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