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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

(PIOG) Would you give Dh a curfew?

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This hasnt applied to us in a few years, but when were were younger and first starting out, hell yeah it did.

We met at 19 and were married at 19. There was still quite a bit of growing up and growing together that needed to be done.

OK so onto the curfew.

I have always had 100% trust in dh, he has never given me a reason not to (still hasnt 7 years later). So when he would go out with his "boys" a few nights a week I didnt care where he was or who he was with. I just had 1 rule. Be respectful of your wife and new mother and come home at a decent hour. No more partying all night and walking in the door at 9am the next day still drunk from the night before.

My curfew was 12 or 1am on a weekday and no later then 3am on a weekend. And dh - even though he messed up once or twice - for the most part respected this. After we grew up a little and grew together, the friends and "chilling" in the streets and getting drunk lost their appeal for him. Now 7 years later dh wouldnt dare come home after 10pm unless he was working a late job. Is just something that you dont do. He has a family and coming home late is just disrespectful. Plus we are married, we dont go out as single people any more. We never really did in the first place. He only started after we had the baby, I needed to be home. Now that the "baby" is 5, we are back to being partners in crime together, but not just us, as a family.

So one of my newly married girlfriends is having a similar problem with her new dh. They do not have kids yet, but they have been married for about a year. She said it was fine in the beginning but no matter how much she bitches he still wont come home at a decent hour. Mind you they are our age now - late 20's. I told her that I gave my dh a curfew when we first got married and had the baby. (Before our ds, Dh never went any where with out me, if he was out partying all night i was right along side him. We were partners in crime, until I had ds, then I was home and dh took a little time to get out of his chilling phase.) And it worked for us. She looked at me like I was nuts. And said she could never put rules on her husband like that.

I think 1am on a week day/3am on a weekend is reasonable and hardly asking too much of a husband. (yes yes, you shouldnt have to do this if they are your dh they should already know and respect, blah blah blah.. All men, especially when your married young need a bit of training. You grow together as a couple -  so all of "you" can shove it - "you" know who "you" are)

Have you ever? or Would you ever put a curfew on your dh if he was one to stay out late?

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:47 PM
Replies (31-40):
BUFFIE.the.BODY
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:16 PM
My husband is a man not a child nore teenage. He's never came home late to me. The latest was 11:30 pm.
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BUFFIE.the.BODY
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Haha youngins!

Quoting opal10161973:

DF doesn't go out enough without me for that to be an issue.  Mind you, we are 39, not some youngins like you guys.  I know that sounds funny, but it won't in ten years- believe me.  LOL

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cali_angel_girl
by Amy :) on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:57 PM

No I don't.

biancalina20
by Bianca Lina on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:08 PM
We dont do curfew and my SO isnt a party hardy person
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Anryan
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:14 PM

exactly this.  I am not either of my guys mother, don't want to be. Treat a man like a man, thats what i do.  it is the respect for each other that dictates our behavior.

Quoting anotherandree:

If I was his MOTHER, then yes, but otherwise, um, no.


Anryan,

Wife to.....

  David    and   Irish

AimSnapHolz
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:28 PM

No, I wouldn't. I trust him, and I know he will keep in touch with me no matter how late he stays out.

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jan. 19, 2013 at 11:17 PM

 No curfew, just respect for one another to give a heads up when we would be home

adamswife08
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:10 AM

I wouldnt call it a curfew persay but theres no reason to stay out to all hours of the night. My husband is considerate enough to call if hes going to be out really late. He really doesnt go out without me though

tifbrown
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 1:11 AM

Been there. It didn't work for us really. There were other issues at the time and he is the one who would insist I give him one, and then get mad and rebel when I tried to enforce it. It put me in a position of being his mother. We are 7 years in, 4.5 of which we have been married, and he has grown out of it as well. I don't remember the last time he was out later than 10. If both partners are willing to be respectful of a "curfew" it is great, I don't think it is unrealistic. And, is a common decency thing. I agree with what you said. 

SeelyGoose
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 1:50 AM

He's a grown man, he can come home when he wishes. He'd text/call though if he was going to be home later than 1-2am (which is how late I stay up) as a heads up.

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