I have not been here in awhile but I need an anonymous place to vent. My fiance has a sex addiction. specifically sex chat lines, web cam girls and texting. It hurts pretty bad to have to del with this alone. Before anyone criticizes my choice to marry this man I want to be very clear that I understand addiction and the psychological impacts it carries with it. An addict is not a bad person and being with an addict does not make me guilty of co dependancy. It is not about attraction to someone else. It isnt even satificatory for a sex addict to act out. However it does rear its uglly ass head when he becomes stressed. It covers up what he feels and while the behavior is being acted out he forgets the bad parts of his day. I know it took a lot for him to even say anything and I definately know without a doubt that he is the one I will be with for eternity; sex addiction and all. But theres times when it pops into my head and I just want to punch him in the face the second I see him. Not sure how that would help anything but I would feel awesome for those few seconds.
He has since stopped all communications with women. He gave me all his passwords on his own accord and hes been much better. sex is even good. It helps that he isnt talking to anyone else. I found out he is proposing on saturday. I am nervous. I know that relapse is a significant possibility and I also know that I can come out just fine. where do you even draw the line with how many times you can be there for one person. If it is love there is no limit to that. No one is perfect and I have huge faults yet he still loves me regardless. I know I will say yes and I know we will be happy. I also know that should a slip up take place I have the tools to weather that storm and there is no one I would do that for except him. It is huge love so I will make the promise that good or bad I love him for who he is. Not who I want him to be sometimes.
Please.... no judgement here as I have chosen my path regardless of what anyone else believes I should do. I will not walk away when things get hard.