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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Living with a sex addict.

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:07 PM
  • 22 Replies


I have not been here in awhile but I need an anonymous place to vent. My fiance has a sex addiction. specifically sex chat lines, web cam girls and texting. It hurts pretty bad to have to del with this alone. Before anyone criticizes my choice to marry this man I want to be very clear that I understand addiction and the psychological impacts it carries with it. An addict is not a bad person and being with an addict does not make me guilty of co dependancy. It is not about attraction to someone else. It isnt even satificatory for a sex addict to act out. However it does rear its uglly ass head when he becomes stressed. It covers up what he feels and while the behavior is being acted out he forgets the bad parts of his day. I know it took a lot for him to even say anything and I definately know without a doubt that he is the one I will be with for eternity; sex addiction and all. But theres times when it pops into my head and I just want to punch him in the face the second I see him. Not sure how that would help anything but I would feel awesome for those few seconds. 

He has since stopped all communications with women. He gave me all his passwords on his own accord and hes been much better. sex is even good. It helps that he isnt talking to anyone else. I found out he is proposing on saturday. I am nervous. I know that relapse is a significant possibility and I also know that I can come out just fine. where do you even draw the line with how many times you can be there for one person. If it is love there is no limit to that. No one is perfect and I have huge faults yet he still loves me regardless. I know I will say yes and I know we will be happy. I also know that should a slip up take place I have the tools to weather that storm and there is no one I would do that for except him. It is huge love so I will make the promise that good or bad I love him for who he is. Not who I want him to be sometimes. 


Please.... no judgement here as I have chosen my path regardless of what anyone else believes I should do. I will not walk away when things get hard. 

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Krysden
by Platinum Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:36 PM

No judgement.... Just wanted to wish you luck.  

brandi.w
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:08 PM

Thank you. sometimes I need to vent. 

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:11 PM
2 moms liked this

Well, good luck with that. We'll see you back here in 6 months crying about how he is talking to and soliciting other women online again. Welcome to the rest of your life, but at least you can't say you went into it blindsided. SMH.

mommybellygirl
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:19 PM

good luck

connie45
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:04 AM
2 moms liked this
He needs to be in therapy and have a significant period of good behavior before you marry.

You sound smart enough to know that love is not enough.
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2lilmamas
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I hope it works out for you.
Krysden
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:33 AM
2 moms liked this


it does rear its uglly ass head when he becomes stressed. It covers up what he feels and while the behavior is being acted out he forgets the bad parts of his day.
Is he getting any professional help? (therapy/counseling)   If not, that may be a good option for him.   They can work with him to find better ways of dealing with his stress.  Also, whether he is getting help or not... it may be a good idea for you to speak with a counselor to help with your side of things in dealing with him.   Just a thought.

Cheribomb
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:27 AM
Yeah this will not end well at all... I would never marry anyone with an addiction problem.
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mjlowe
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:32 AM
2 moms liked this
No judgement, here. Sounds like he trusts you enough to allow you to have all his passwords and let you in on his world. Has he ever thought of counseling? Couples counseling as well? Just to help so he doesn't relapse. It's just an idea. I know guys aren't easy to persuade to go to counseling. I wish you well! Vent here when ever you need! Hugs, mama!
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Mari6443
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:02 PM
2 moms liked this
I understand where you are coming from. I can relate. I've been in a similar situation with my DH. It's not easy and it's so not fun!:( If you ever need someone to talk to who truly understands your situation, don't hesitate to PM me anytime or send me a friend invite. We can chat and support one another. I am here for you! HUGS!!!
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