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Would this make you angry?

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Yesterday was one of my dh three days off.  On his days off from work all I ask of him is to please wash the dishes so that when I come home to cook dinner I can start with a clean kitchen.  So I came home from 9 hours of dealing with rude customers at work and immediately started dinner while listening to dd's talk about their day at school and keeping our siberian huskies from wandering into the kitchen :D.  Once that was finished I served everyone, ate and immediately ran down to basement to start laundry.  While laundry was going I got the dinner dishes washed and started to help my dd's with their homework.  Once that was done I ran the vacuum in the living (think lots of hair left by two large dogs) and dusted and ran down to the basement to switch laundry around and fold and put away.  On my way back up my dh glanced up from his big comfy recliner where he was flipping through the channels and asked "Are you planning on getting the kids in the shower any time soon?"  I was instantly irritated. I knew he was asking because he wanted to be uhhh..intimate, after the kids went to bed. But I felt like he was saying I wasn't working hard enough or something.  I worked a 9 hour day while he had the day off and he still sat in his chair while I did everything and then wanted to tell me to move faster so he could "get some".  Would this make anyone else angry?  Or am I making too much of it?

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:56 AM
Replies (11-20):
frzmamaof4
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:18 AM
If it were my dh, he'd be gettin' off of his ass to help around the house. I'm a sahm and dh always helps me out!
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37momofthree
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:21 AM

 


Quoting frzmamaof4:

If it were my dh, he'd be gettin' off of his ass to help around the house. I'm a sahm and dh always helps me out!


 I have heard this from alot of people.  My sister is a sahm and her husband still helps with all the household chores.  I don't ask for much!  In the summer time I even cut the grass most of the time as well as keeping up with the inside work.  But when I ask him to do something or make a list he just ignores it and then later says he was too tired from workingout at the gym or else he just wanted to relax. It drives me crazy!  I don't want to fight all the time about it but I don't feel like I should do everything.  Especially since he has more days off during the week than I do!

frzmamaof4
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:26 AM
Aww I'm sorry mama! Maybe try to talk with him about helping out a lil more. Good luck:-)

Quoting 37momofthree:

 




Quoting frzmamaof4:

If it were my dh, he'd be gettin' off of his ass to help around the house. I'm a sahm and dh always helps me out!



 I have heard this from alot of people.  My sister is a sahm and her husband still helps with all the household chores.  I don't ask for much!  In the summer time I even cut the grass most of the time as well as keeping up with the inside work.  But when I ask him to do something or make a list he just ignores it and then later says he was too tired from workingout at the gym or else he just wanted to relax. It drives me crazy!  I don't want to fight all the time about it but I don't feel like I should do everything.  Especially since he has more days off during the week than I do!

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jmjdj
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this

My ex used to do this kind of thing too.  I work 7 a.m. to 4 p.m.  Since I got off work earlier than he did, I picked up the kids, went home, cooked supper, cleaned the kitchen, bathed the kids, did homework with them...everything.  He worked 10a.m. to 6 p.m.  He would come in around 6:20 and sit in his recliner, eat dinner (usually in his recliner) and then stay in his recliner.  Sometimes he would even make remarks about me needing to come up with some new meals because he was tired of eating the same things over and over.  After I got the kids in bed around 9 or 9:30 I would be ready to go to bed myself.  He would actually get mad and start a fight because I had zero desire for sex after all this.  It got to a point that I wanted to scream at him all the time.  I worked as much or more than him and still did everything at night. 

This is not why we are divorced...but one of the many reasons that I can be thankful we are!  I no longer have to put up with crap like that.  As a single mom, I still do all of those things...but it's not so that he can be lazy!

PinkButterfly66
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this

It would piss me off.  I EXPECT my husband to pitch in around the house and help with the kid.  It's his house too and he should help maintain it.  We're partners and a team and I expect him to act accordingly, which he does.  I have a good man.

mommybellygirl
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:36 AM

it would piss me off a bit but you are making too much of it. tell him to get off his ass and tell you. my husband does the same thing if i dont ask him for help

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:58 AM

Have you ever seen the show "Snapped" on Oxygen?  This is the reason why that show exists!!  :)  I would have taken my shoe off and thrown it upside his head.

momto3B
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:01 AM

I would never have married such a man. 


37momofthree
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:03 AM

 


Quoting AnGLInterrupted:

Have you ever seen the show "Snapped" on Oxygen?  This is the reason why that show exists!!  :)  I would have taken my shoe off and thrown it upside his head.


 LOL!  No I've never seen it but now I have to check it out!  I'm a pretty giving person and I absolutely hate to fight.  I actually enjoy taking care of my dd's and my dh.  BUT I don't like to feel like I'm being taken for granted which is exactly what I've been feeling lately.  A few nights ago I did the whole dinner/dishes routine minus the kids cuz they were with their dad for the night.  Afterward I took a quick shower and joined my dh in the bedroom (and made him very happy).  Then we came into the living room to watch some tv.  However, I wanted to finish up some laundry so he turned on his game system instead and played a video game.  When I was finished folding and putting away laundry I sat on the floor next to his recliner while he played his video game I massaged his feet with lotion.  This is how I spoil my dh most days and like I said I don't mind doing it but when he starts acting like this then the spoiling pretty much stops.

37momofthree
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:06 AM

 


Quoting momto3B:

I would never have married such a man. 

 

It cracks me up when people answer with something like this.  We probably would have never gotten married if he had acted like this in the beginning.  He used to take care of me.  And to be fair on some days he still does cook dinner or do something unexpected.  Just not often.  And his attitude on this particular night really irritated me. 

 

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