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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Would this make you angry?

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Yesterday was one of my dh three days off.  On his days off from work all I ask of him is to please wash the dishes so that when I come home to cook dinner I can start with a clean kitchen.  So I came home from 9 hours of dealing with rude customers at work and immediately started dinner while listening to dd's talk about their day at school and keeping our siberian huskies from wandering into the kitchen :D.  Once that was finished I served everyone, ate and immediately ran down to basement to start laundry.  While laundry was going I got the dinner dishes washed and started to help my dd's with their homework.  Once that was done I ran the vacuum in the living (think lots of hair left by two large dogs) and dusted and ran down to the basement to switch laundry around and fold and put away.  On my way back up my dh glanced up from his big comfy recliner where he was flipping through the channels and asked "Are you planning on getting the kids in the shower any time soon?"  I was instantly irritated. I knew he was asking because he wanted to be uhhh..intimate, after the kids went to bed. But I felt like he was saying I wasn't working hard enough or something.  I worked a 9 hour day while he had the day off and he still sat in his chair while I did everything and then wanted to tell me to move faster so he could "get some".  Would this make anyone else angry?  Or am I making too much of it?

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:56 AM
Replies (81-90):
mommyof11050307
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:13 AM
He wouldn't be getting laid that's for see.
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Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:23 AM
I would be irritated, not angry! But I don't really work! But DH is hands on! There isn't anything going on in my household that's too stressful! I have big kids, they bathe themselves.
Talk to him when you are calm. Come up with easier meals during the week. Designate a day for laundry.
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ILuvMyTots
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 7:04 AM

No, wouldn't be angry. I'd just be like........... yeah! you're doing it! Smile then say thanks hun!

cajun_lady_swla
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 7:20 AM
1 mom liked this
A comment like that would be good enough to invoke the wrath of momma on him.... Especially if there were even a smidge of condescending tone or snappiness with it. My tolerance is very low when I'm doing everything I can to keep things going and others around me are content to sit and watch instead of helping. I work a full time, demanding, and very physical job so I'd say I am entitled to an extra hand when hubby is actually home (offshore worker). I don't ask for a whole lot... Mostly picking up after himself and cycling some laundry.... And keeping the kids occupied while I get things done. The rest of the workload falls on my shoulders so yeah.... Snarky comments have no place under our roof. He woulda had a headache to go along with the blue balls for a few days.
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pristine729
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 7:24 AM
I'd be irritated. But my fiancée would have just bathed the kids himself.
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37momofthree
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:39 AM

Oh well as far as that goes I have asked him to do more.  I do all the laundry cuz he never seperates the loads so I feel it's just better to do it myself.  But I do ask him to run the vacuum or dust on his days off.  He always tells me he was just too tired.  He says dust and things like that don't bother him so why should he do anything about it.  Uggh!  So the most I can get out of him is dishes.  Sometimes. 

Quoting catrig:

I meant why isn't he doing more.


Quoting 37momofthree:

 


 


Quoting catrig:


If you are both working why is he doing more?


Umm...what in my post made it seem as though he does more?????  All i ask is for him to wash the dishes.  He has three days off to my two and I do ALL the housework, laundry, taking care of kids, grocery shopping and in the summertime even most of the yard work. 


 



 

37momofthree
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:42 AM

Yeah that's what he always expects.  Once the kids are in bed I'm supposed to flip the switch and be an instant sex machine, ready and willing.  Uggh!  Sometimes I just want to lay on the couch for a few minutes and catch my breath! 


Quoting bugsmama149:

And then he probably just expected you to go into "automatic horny mode" after the kids were in bed right? I woulda been too annoyed to even consider sex.


 

catrig
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:29 PM
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For lack of better terminology..... you've trained him badly. Tell him you have new expectations.


Quoting 37momofthree:

Oh well as far as that goes I have asked him to do more.  I do all the laundry cuz he never seperates the loads so I feel it's just better to do it myself.  But I do ask him to run the vacuum or dust on his days off.  He always tells me he was just too tired.  He says dust and things like that don't bother him so why should he do anything about it.  Uggh!  So the most I can get out of him is dishes.  Sometimes. 


Quoting catrig:

I meant why isn't he doing more.



Quoting 37momofthree:


 



 



Quoting catrig:



If you are both working why is he doing more?



Umm...what in my post made it seem as though he does more?????  All i ask is for him to wash the dishes.  He has three days off to my two and I do ALL the housework, laundry, taking care of kids, grocery shopping and in the summertime even most of the yard work. 



 





 


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Johnsonmommy5
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:32 PM
Honestly men say things one way and to us it comes across completely the wrong way and a lot of times that's not what they meant! Maybe just ask him if that was what was going on rather than jump to insta-anger and be upset and ruin the rest of your night! You don't need any raw assumption added to an already long day :)
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BethanyCO6777
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Uh, NO! Get off your ass and help! Good lord, its not like your a Stay at home mom (meaning you have time during the day to get what you want done in the house) , your working too, you both contribute to making a "mess" at home, you should both help clean it up.


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