Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Emotional affair final update

Posted by   + Show Post

I just wanted to thank those of you who offered their advice and support, we worked things out last night. For those of you that had nothing but negative things to say: IN YO FACE!!! You were wrong.


A few days ago, my husband asked me what an emotional affair was because it came up in conversation, I explained the best I could; I said it's when you connect on an emotional level with someone other than your spouse and it can lead to a physical affair.

1st edit
Deapite our conversation, he reestablished contact with an old friend that he had strong feelings for. Her name is Rachelle, she lives somewhere near Pittsburgh, and they met online before him and I met, but they never met in person.
She felt it was ok for her to date and tell him about her sexual exploits, but she got angry when he told her about our relationship and quit talking to him for a while.
Some time after she started talking to him again, I found an inappropriate conversation between them. She tried to influence him to break up with me when he was having doubts about our relationship. She got mad again when he told her we worked it out and stopped talking to him again until now.

2nd edit

He had a girlfriend for 8 years and she treated him pretty badly before cheating on him, dumping him, and getting with the guy she cheated on him with. He said this woman that he's talking to was the first person he cared about after the breakup. He was in one other brief relationship before we met and we took things slow, started as friends, neither one of us imagined that we would be married a year after we met and have a son and another baby on the way.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:33 PM
Replies (11-20):
Queen_Sheila
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:49 PM
Thank you and I hope he can earn your trust back. They never met and never had sex, so I'm glad for that.


Quoting Chelseadawn08:

I have been in this situation with my dh. He was "reconnecting" with an old sex buddy of his online and I found out and lost it after i read the content that was written. After several conversations and arguments he has stopped, we restablished our priorties. i also spoke with her, she wasnt happy but i felt thatbit was effective. But the paranoia is still there for me. I wish u the best

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Chelseadawn08
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:50 PM
That was our hang up. He didn't see the harm. She is in another state and there isn't a physicalness to it. U are right they don't think the way we do. So it took awhile for us to get on the same plain with it all
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Chelseadawn08
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:51 PM
Thank you! I wish u the same Hun! It's so hard stay in the know of how men think! They are exhausting! Haha!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Queen_Sheila
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:54 PM
I know and they think we're complicated! Someone told me about a book I want to read, it's called the man whisperer by Rick Johnson.


Quoting Chelseadawn08:

Thank you! I wish u the same Hun! It's so hard stay in the know of how men think! They are exhausting! Haha!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Chelseadawn08
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:04 PM
I know right! I'm married to a man child! Lol I will have too look up that book! I hope that h guys are working through it all or will be working on it. Once they understand the damage that it causes hopefully he wises up for u!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
AlannaMaria
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:44 PM
That's not cool on his part. I hope you can get to the bottom and he's honest with you.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sucker4myloves
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:46 PM
2 moms liked this

I would not allow contact with her. If he cannot honor your request that he cut her off, then something is wrong.

MAINSTREAM MOMS Wanna escape the crunch? Join us!

REDNECK MOMMIES Join to commune with your fellow country mamas!



bethany0199
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 6:51 PM
1 mom liked this

from experience.. and i mean real experience i just posted about this...my man went ahead and had intercourse with the old friend.. i  am and ripped and torn.. it started out like that.. she even wrote a letter telling him she was gonna steal him away...im looking for advice...

mrs.Martinez201
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:42 PM
have you expressed that to him? does he know how you feel?


Quoting Queen_Sheila:

I think he doesn't understand more than he doesn't care because men don't think the same way that women do and don't understand that an emotional affair can hurt as bad as a physical one. I'm not saying he's having an emotional afair with her, but he does have a connection with her thay I feel threatened by.






Quoting mrs.Martinez201:

honestly sounds like he doesn't really care how you feel. I'm sorry




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
tharealty2
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 7:47 PM
5 moms liked this


Quoting Queen_Sheila:

I think he doesn't understand more than he doesn't care because men don't think the same way that women do and don't understand that an emotional affair can hurt as bad as a physical one. I'm not saying he's having an emotional afair with her, but he does have a connection with her thay I feel threatened by.



Quoting mrs.Martinez201:

honestly sounds like he doesn't really care how you feel. I'm sorry


You're making excuses for him - don't do that.  Guaranteed he wouldn't want you talking on the regular to some guy, much less a guy that obviously wants you and doesn't want you in a relationship.  He needs to stop, period. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)