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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Emotional affair final update

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I just wanted to thank those of you who offered their advice and support, we worked things out last night. For those of you that had nothing but negative things to say: IN YO FACE!!! You were wrong.


A few days ago, my husband asked me what an emotional affair was because it came up in conversation, I explained the best I could; I said it's when you connect on an emotional level with someone other than your spouse and it can lead to a physical affair.

1st edit
Deapite our conversation, he reestablished contact with an old friend that he had strong feelings for. Her name is Rachelle, she lives somewhere near Pittsburgh, and they met online before him and I met, but they never met in person.
She felt it was ok for her to date and tell him about her sexual exploits, but she got angry when he told her about our relationship and quit talking to him for a while.
Some time after she started talking to him again, I found an inappropriate conversation between them. She tried to influence him to break up with me when he was having doubts about our relationship. She got mad again when he told her we worked it out and stopped talking to him again until now.

2nd edit

He had a girlfriend for 8 years and she treated him pretty badly before cheating on him, dumping him, and getting with the guy she cheated on him with. He said this woman that he's talking to was the first person he cared about after the breakup. He was in one other brief relationship before we met and we took things slow, started as friends, neither one of us imagined that we would be married a year after we met and have a son and another baby on the way.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:33 PM
Replies (21-30):
biancalina20
by Bianca Lina on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:13 PM
I would be very upset about this because hes talking to her.
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m0mmyheather
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:14 PM
3 moms liked this
I would tell her to back the fuck off.
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MomToovey
by Marianne on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'm sorry you're going through this. I would probably spell out for him how his behavior (the actual messages and the hiding of them) looks to you and how it makes you feel. As you said, guys just really don't think about thinks like that unless they've been in the situation themselves. So explain it to him simply and clearly. And let him know that by continuing this behavior after knowing how you feel about it is disrespectful. If he can't control himself or be respectful of you, maybe this other woman SHOULD have him and you can be free to find someone better.

2lilmamas
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:25 PM
Speak to him before things go to another level.
Queen_Sheila
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:10 AM
I would, but her facebook page has me blocked, I've never spoken to her. If I had the chance, I would kick her ass for the things she said to him before we were married and for coming back.


Quoting m0mmyheather:

I would tell her to back the fuck off.

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Queen_Sheila
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:13 AM
I'm sorry, I wish I had some good advice for you, but I don't know what to do myself. Is he remorseful at all or does he want her now?


Quoting bethany0199:

from experience.. and i mean real experience i just posted about this...my man went ahead and had intercourse with the old friend.. i  am and ripped and torn.. it started out like that.. she even wrote a letter telling him she was gonna steal him away...im looking for advice...


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StrawberryCool
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Its going to storm.

I actually unforuantely agree with you


Quoting Amybelle:

Tell him if he's hiding it HE knows it's WRONG & ask him why  he's willing to do something he knows is wrong and jeopardises your relationship.


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Queen_Sheila
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:18 AM
1 mom liked this
You're right, I had an old friend I used to talk to, but I cut off contact with because he asked me for topless pictures...more than once but I told him no both times and told my husband about it. I wanted him to know I would never do anything to hurt him like that and he can trust me to do the right thing.


Quoting tharealty2:


Quoting Queen_Sheila:

I think he doesn't understand more than he doesn't care because men don't think the same way that women do and don't understand that an emotional affair can hurt as bad as a physical one. I'm not saying he's having an emotional afair with her, but he does have a connection with her thay I feel threatened by.






Quoting mrs.Martinez201:

honestly sounds like he doesn't really care how you feel. I'm sorry



You're making excuses for him - don't do that.  Guaranteed he wouldn't want you talking on the regular to some guy, much less a guy that obviously wants you and doesn't want you in a relationship.  He needs to stop, period. 


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Queen_Sheila
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:21 AM
1 mom liked this
He didn't think he was hiding it because his password is saved on the computer and I can go on his account any time I want, that's how I found out about it.


Quoting StrawberryCool:

Its going to storm.



I actually unforuantely agree with you




Quoting Amybelle:

Tell him if he's hiding it HE knows it's WRONG & ask him why  he's willing to do something he knows is wrong and jeopardises your relationship.



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pittymama
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:38 AM


Quoting mrs.Martinez201:

honestly sounds like he doesn't really care how you feel. I'm sorry


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