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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Emotional affair final update

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I just wanted to thank those of you who offered their advice and support, we worked things out last night. For those of you that had nothing but negative things to say: IN YO FACE!!! You were wrong.


A few days ago, my husband asked me what an emotional affair was because it came up in conversation, I explained the best I could; I said it's when you connect on an emotional level with someone other than your spouse and it can lead to a physical affair.

1st edit
Deapite our conversation, he reestablished contact with an old friend that he had strong feelings for. Her name is Rachelle, she lives somewhere near Pittsburgh, and they met online before him and I met, but they never met in person.
She felt it was ok for her to date and tell him about her sexual exploits, but she got angry when he told her about our relationship and quit talking to him for a while.
Some time after she started talking to him again, I found an inappropriate conversation between them. She tried to influence him to break up with me when he was having doubts about our relationship. She got mad again when he told her we worked it out and stopped talking to him again until now.

2nd edit

He had a girlfriend for 8 years and she treated him pretty badly before cheating on him, dumping him, and getting with the guy she cheated on him with. He said this woman that he's talking to was the first person he cared about after the breakup. He was in one other brief relationship before we met and we took things slow, started as friends, neither one of us imagined that we would be married a year after we met and have a son and another baby on the way.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:33 PM
Replies (41-50):
wulfeyes05
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:13 PM
2 moms liked this
My rule. If I ever star to develop feelings for a friend that are more than sisterly then we will stop being friends. I won't let anything get in the way of my marriage. I love my husband very much. You need to explain to him that you are uncomfortable with them talking and that inappropriate conversant they had was disrespectful. Communicate with him. If you bottle things up it'll just poison your relationship.
PortiaRose
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:23 PM
You guys sound like teenagers.
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PortiaRose
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:24 PM
How sad are you?

Quoting Queen_Sheila:

I plan to, but I want to talk to him first, I don't want him to be angry at me.




Quoting m0mmyheather:

Get on his account. In fact, I'd demand access to it.





Quoting Queen_Sheila:

I would, but her facebook page has me blocked, I've never spoken to her. If I had the chance, I would kick her ass for the things she said to him before we were married and for coming back.








Quoting m0mmyheather:

I would tell her to back the fuck off.


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tifbrown
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Given the detail you provided I would say, yes, that would be an emotional affair. It's beyond a friendship and she is making it clear that she still has feelings, which he seems to be going along with in having inappropriate conversations. 

CharlotteRose
by Charlotte on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this


yeah, been there before 2. i completely understand the "paranoia" part......

Quoting Chelseadawn08:

I have been in this situation with my dh. He was "reconnecting" with an old sex buddy of his online and I found out and lost it after i read the content that was written. After several conversations and arguments he has stopped, we restablished our priorties. i also spoke with her, she wasnt happy but i felt thatbit was effective. But the paranoia is still there for me. I wish u the best



mama2gg
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 6:10 PM

 I would not see this as emotional cheating more like venting as long as he isn't talking back to her like he wants to get with her etc... as you stated he even tells her you TWO are together

HOWEVER with that said I would be offended if they kept talking because of HER immature I would expect my husband to have  a more mature outlet for emotional venting

drivenleonian
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 6:20 PM
1 mom liked this
It IS an affair. He should cut off all contact if you can't be her friend as a couple. Her disapproval of you is proof of jealousy. He took vows when you married. He should stick to them!
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SOLOLMON98
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 6:27 PM
1 mom liked this
It is a matter of principle. He asked either to ensure that he didn't overstep his boundaries or how far he could go. With that, both your husband & the friend need to respect you as his wife, and forfeit the friendship. My prayers are with you..
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meowsrus
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Gee, she sounds familiar possibly. Does he know where she went to high school?

She's got some serious issues.
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meepsm0m2006
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 6:46 PM
I agree with this


Quoting Amybelle:

Tell him if he's hiding it HE knows it's WRONG & ask him why  he's willing to do something he knows is wrong and jeopardises your relationship.


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