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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Emotional affair final update

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I just wanted to thank those of you who offered their advice and support, we worked things out last night. For those of you that had nothing but negative things to say: IN YO FACE!!! You were wrong.


A few days ago, my husband asked me what an emotional affair was because it came up in conversation, I explained the best I could; I said it's when you connect on an emotional level with someone other than your spouse and it can lead to a physical affair.

1st edit
Deapite our conversation, he reestablished contact with an old friend that he had strong feelings for. Her name is Rachelle, she lives somewhere near Pittsburgh, and they met online before him and I met, but they never met in person.
She felt it was ok for her to date and tell him about her sexual exploits, but she got angry when he told her about our relationship and quit talking to him for a while.
Some time after she started talking to him again, I found an inappropriate conversation between them. She tried to influence him to break up with me when he was having doubts about our relationship. She got mad again when he told her we worked it out and stopped talking to him again until now.

2nd edit

He had a girlfriend for 8 years and she treated him pretty badly before cheating on him, dumping him, and getting with the guy she cheated on him with. He said this woman that he's talking to was the first person he cared about after the breakup. He was in one other brief relationship before we met and we took things slow, started as friends, neither one of us imagined that we would be married a year after we met and have a son and another baby on the way.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 3:33 PM
Replies (91-100):
iviemom
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:32 AM

I had one, but when I knew things were going to start getting physical I told my husband. I couldn't stand the thought of lying to him. 

fraujenny
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 2:27 AM

He better cut all ties with this woman now, if he wants to save your relationship. And you need to communicate how it makes you feel.  Counseling can help with this too, so I'd strongly encourage it.

spotsmom
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 2:51 AM
2 moms liked this

I guess I'm not sure what the question is, here but....um, no. No to having ANY contact with this girl, no to ever attempting to contact her again. I guess just ask him outright if he is having second thoughts about your marriage. If so, then you guys need to proceed from THERE, not him fishing around until he finds someone to replace you with before he dumps you. Sounds like he wants to make sure he has someone to move on WITH. Again, I don't know what the question was, but you guys need to have a serious talk. 

Ihold8Stars
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:39 AM
2 moms liked this
That's the preset for a cheater...

Men may think different but they know right from Wrong and this behaviour is dirty wrong!

Women we make excuses for men, to say men think different and to rationalize his inconsiderate indecent deeds.. As idk a mother excuses her toddlers bad behaviour when compared to an older sibling... Is a excuse in an attempt to preserve your heart.

If men are not as smart then we can over look the wrong .. Problem is when your alone your judging yourself, your being neglected emotionally as he cheats and yes to me he's already cheating.. He is making his wife depressed which can harm your children because 1 kids know mom sad 2 depression can cause moms to emotionally neglect the kids 3 depression is associated with misscarriage!

#1 rules to healthy kids is having a happy healthy mommy!

Don't play the helpless role Dont excuse his actions and don't you dare blame yourself! Put your headup and your foot down.
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atozmom5
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Contact World Wide Marriage Encounter. It's a retreat for couples who want a deeper relationship. But if either one of you is bringing up separating though call Retrouvaille. (It means "come back together", I think.)

LaDiosa
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this
[quote name="Queen_Sheila" id="0"][/quo Demand to go on his page to send her the message and then block her from his page. If he doesn't like that tell him tough this is what u created and this is how it needs to be fixed for me to have some peace of mind.
AimSnapHolz
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:37 AM

I don't really know how to respond to this, because I think if I were in your position I wouldn't feel threatened.

Queen_Sheila
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:06 PM
That's what I'm trying to prevent, he was very close to her before we met and this friendship he has with her threatens the closeness of our relationship. The only other woman he should confide in is his mother.


Quoting rayroe2:

so is he having an emotional affair??


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Queen_Sheila
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:10 PM
I don't want to hirt my relationship with him and I want you to GO AWAY!


Quoting PortiaRose:

Oh noooooes! I'm gonna get reported!!



You don't wanna make HIM mad?? That's pathetic. Just allow him to walk all over you.



Its easy on everyone that way.




Quoting Queen_Sheila:

Who asked you? If you don't have something constructive to contribute, go away or I'll report you.




Quoting PortiaRose:

How sad are you?





Quoting Queen_Sheila:

I plan to, but I want to talk to him first, I don't want him to be angry at me.










Quoting m0mmyheather:

Get on his account. In fact, I'd demand access to it.









Quoting Queen_Sheila:

I would, but her facebook page has me blocked, I've never spoken to her. If I had the chance, I would kick her ass for the things she said to him before we were married and for coming back.














Quoting m0mmyheather:

I would tell her to back the fuck off.











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Queen_Sheila
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:16 PM
The question is how do I get him to stop talking to her without me looking lile a crazy jealous person? He tjinks I'm overreactinf, that there's nothing wrong with their friendship, but if it isn't everyone wouldn't be on my side abouy this.


Quoting spotsmom:

I guess I'm not sure what the question is, here but....um, no. No to having ANY contact with this girl, no to ever attempting to contact her again. I guess just ask him outright if he is having second thoughts about your marriage. If so, then you guys need to proceed from THERE, not him fishing around until he finds someone to replace you with before he dumps you. Sounds like he wants to make sure he has someone to move on WITH. Again, I don't know what the question was, but you guys need to have a serious talk. 


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