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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

advice from ppl who have been in this situation only--a bit long but juicy worth a few minutes to read

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infedility

will state i am 4 mo pregnant with his child we are not married but have been dating 3 yrs i wrote this to his ex wife and his childs mother [we are on friend terms] 

tell me what you think about my situation other than its real shtty and please dont tell me to leave him thats obvious 

ALSO THIS IS THE FIRST I KNOW OF HIM CHEATING

BF  has hurt me.. u may not find this as a shock but he cheated on me with a girl from his past .. about 2 weeks ago i am torn hurt beyond and i just dont know what to do.. i love this fool so much but he cheated i know our relationship really is not your biz but i feel like u can give me insight and help me make the decision to leave him permanently or what


HER REPLY

FIRST OF ALL, I WANNA SAY I KNOW EXACTLY HOW U FEEL. HE HURT ME TOO AND HE'S THE ONLY MAN THAT HAS HURT ME. THE THINGS IS THAT YA"LL HAVE A BABY TOGETHER AND I DONT THINK U SHOULD BE SELFISH IN YA DECISION MAKING. P TENDS TO BE A BETTER FATHER WHEN HE'S IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS BABY MOTHER. HE MISSED OUT ON A LOT OF YEARS WHEN IT COMES TO HIS SON. IM NOT SURE HOW LONG HE HAS BEEN CHEATING ON U WITH HER OR IF ITS SOMETHING NEW. MY FIRST INSTINCT IS TO TELL U TO LEAVE HIS ASS. BUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT WHAT I'VE BEEN THRU. I THINK THAT MAYBE U SHOULD TALK TO P AND GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE IF HE'S WILLING TO CHANGE. BUT IT'S LIKE UR TAKING A CHANCE ON GETTING HURT AGAIN.

IT'S A DAMN SHAME HE'S DOING THE SAME SHIT AND WITH HER. HER ASS GOT LIKE 4 KIDS.

ALso does it sound like she regrets not giving him a chance

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 6:43 PM
Replies (11-20):
bethany0199
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:21 AM

i cut and pasted his exes reply..easier than retyping..derr and if u cant offer anything better than an ignorant comment then move along 

bethany0199
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:26 AM

i guess i was  venting to an extent..

i wanted ppl to read the exes remark and  see if it sounds like she regretted not giving him that 2nd chance---as for wanting to hear one answer over the other not really.. this is still very fresh and hurtful..leave him is the obvious but i guess i wanted to hear from anyone that was able to overcome it and how they did so..

mrs.Martinez201
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:34 AM
Of course first thought is leave. When dh and I where early in our relationship he cheated A LOT. I thought I'd never get over it, never be able to be with him. I loved the man and wanted to work it out, we talked a lot and I found out the reasoning behind it, not that it made it ok, but I had some understanding. We both wanted to work things out and I believed he regreted what he had done. It took us a long time and things where ugly, finally we resorted to counseling. Now we have been happily married, he's better to me then I ever thought he could be, and I have no worries about him being faithful. It can happen.
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PRwahm
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:47 AM

If youre worried about your baby's well being... You both will be WAY better off without him. Adding: Dont base your stay on finances, you will find a way and he still has to pay child support. I went through that and when they (my kids) were old enough they let me know they knew their father was fooling around all the time, even while I was working or something and he was with them.

Jess3point0
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:52 AM
He might be a better father when he's in a relationship, but that doesn't mean you need to put up with that kind of crap from him. Besides it sends a message to your child as they get older that it is ok to treat woman like that.
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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jan. 19, 2013 at 11:12 AM

So he's actively cheating on you with another of his ex-girlfriends but all you are concerned about is if his ex still has feelings for him and regrets breaking up with him? Uhhhhh....ok. 

Quoting bethany0199:

i guess i was  venting to an extent..

i wanted ppl to read the exes remark and  see if it sounds like she regretted not giving him that 2nd chance---as for wanting to hear one answer over the other not really.. this is still very fresh and hurtful..leave him is the obvious but i guess i wanted to hear from anyone that was able to overcome it and how they did so..


bethany0199
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:44 PM

not at all readwritlov

i wanted to know if in her opinio0n he is worth the fight... maybe because it sounds crazy and the stuff he did is bad to some but sometimes u have to accept ppl and learn to ;fight thru challenges i dunno


bethany0199
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:45 PM

i mean if u give up on a person so easy after something wrong then its kind of a testament to ur own resilincy maybe.. and yes there are others to try to start a life but....

Amybelle
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:49 PM

Look at his track record! You can be naive and "give him a chance" but he's a Leopard that isn't going to change his spots. How much time are you going to waste on him?

bethany0199
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 1:17 PM

yea i hear it but i just cant accept it.. gosh i dunno..i think its pain and frustration.. but look i hear from ppl that they have over infidelity by a chronic cheater so it can work..do i wanna spend that time making it though?? not sure its too soon

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